In the Name of Love
by JazzBrallie
Summary: Callie is Callie Jacob once more, adoption reversed and everything out in the open. CallieCentric, eventual Brallie. Ch. 19: Brandon and Callie talk as they await their fate in a Mexican jail and Callie comes to an important realization. Ch. 20: Stef, learning of Brandon and Callie's jail stay is forced to confront a harsh realization about her feelings & the last year of her life.
1. Prologue

**Hi All!**

I feel the need to introduce this story. I have been writing it ever since watching 420 (So canon from 1-4 but nothing from 5). More and more it doesn't feel that we Outlaws are going to get our happy ending. And as sad as that may be, it is okay. I don't know how I feel about it really. I honestly watched the Fosters from the very beginning because I truly loved the show and the characters. But, I really connect to Brandon and Callie's story. Not because it is forbidden love or teen love or anything. But, because for the first time in a long time it really felt like I was watching a story about two people falling in love. And under really interesting and different circumstances. But, the fandom seems to have become a war on both sides. Anti-this and Pro-that. Honestly, I am Pro everyone on the show: Pro-Brallie and Pro-Adoption. But, only if could have been done right. The way that it _was_ done? Realistically? I don't feel that Callie could ever be happy like that. That Brandon could ever be at peace like this. That either of them should be forced into roles that are not theirs. So, that's what I am writing about. How things could have gone for Callie and Brandon if the truth came out. And everything wasn't swept under the rug but dealt with. _REALLY_ dealt with. Would everything change for the worse? Or would the tagline still be true? That DNA doesn't make a family; love does. So this is my story of that. If you like it please say so. Or if you don't. Just please be constructive and recognize that whether you agree or don't: 'Love is love is love is love is love is love is love is love.' –Lin Manual Miranda

 ** _Prologue:_** ****

 **What's. In a Name.**

 _The room was too silent. Almost as if everyone, including the judge, was afraid to speak._

" _I will allow arguments." The judge said. To say that his facial expression was stern would be an extreme understatement. It had been clear whose side he was on from the moment he saw Callie's face again._

 _Callie glanced to her right at Stef and Lena. They had taken her in and officially adopted her less than 6 months ago. And yet, she was repaying them with numerous court dates, lies, deceit and reckless behavior. They loved her. This she knew. But the lines near Stef's eyes hadn't seemed as deep a few months ago. And Lena's usual peaceful demeanor was now erased. Replaced with a deep frown that seemed a scar on her beautiful face._

 _Callie then glanced to her left and there sat Robert Quinn. Her birth father. He had been nothing but a decent father to her. Hired the best lawyers and tried to protect her at all costs. He had even, although extremely hesitantly, agreed to sign the papers that dissolved his parental rights. All because this was what Callie wanted. So to see the disappointment that washed over his expression now? Callie was more than a little ashamed. She could feel her own heart breaking as the tears began to slowly stream down her face._

 _The judge was staring at Callie now and she knew that this was her chance to speak; to try and explain. But, she just couldn't. She had broken into someone's house. She had followed Diamond to the pimp. All because of wanting to distract herself from her own pain and inner turmoil. Now, she was finally going to have to face the consequences of her actions._

 _Callie's lawyer looked at her, seemingly waiting for her personal statement. At this point, it would be more of a plea. But Callie knew that she was done talking, there was nothing that she could say now. Nothing that anyone could say. All that was left was acceptance. This, she knew. She'd known it before she even entered the court room._

 _ **2 hours Later.**_

 _The judge returned to the room and sat back down in his seat. He shook his head as he looked over the papers and it was clear that he was disgusted by what he'd read._

 _Callie looked straight ahead. She couldn't look at Stef and Lena or her father. She tried not to think of her little brother Jude or her sister Mariana sitting towards the back of the courtroom. She tried not to picture Jesus, her brother, who was already going through so much right now back at home waiting. When he'd talked about wanting to come with everyone else to the hearing earlier, his Mothers had put a stop to it, saying that they didn't think he couldn't handle this right now. And more than anyone else, she tried not to think of Brandon, whose eyes were no doubt trained on her. Callie simply stared straight ahead and awaited the verdict._

 _The judge took a sip from the glass beside him and clearing his throat he began in a stern and bewildered voice._

" _To say that this young woman has not had a fair shake in life is nowhere near the half of it. In all my years on the bench, I am usually not hard-pressed to find sad, shameful cases of children, young adults, adults and infants whose only crime was that of circumstance. And this case in particular seems to rank high on the list of traumatic cases, which I am sadly very accustomed to. According to what I am reading here, you have been sexually assaulted, traded from home to home, abused, beaten in juvenile detention, a witness and participant in a hit-in-run with a now confessed murderer and in this latest skirmish with this thug "Daddy", emotionally and physically violated in unimaginable ways that are truly distressing."_

 _Callie could hear the breathing in the room intensifying and against her own instincts she glanced briefly at Robert, who was visibly fighting back tears at hearing the horrors his child had been through._

" _That said, however," the judge continued "This tale of misfortune is far from the worst I have ever heard and it could truly have had a different ending. For the past 6 months, things have seemed to be on the right track for you. Doing well in school, steady friendships and relationships, volunteering for those less fortunate and you have become, from what I can see here, quite the advocate for those in the foster care system. All things that are quite commendable._

" _From the outside looking in, it might seem that you are finally working your way towards having a very positive life and putting these demons behind you. But this latest behavior surely suggests otherwise._

" _And what is even more distressing than the recent behavior-a high school senior spending time investigating a murder case and placing herself in highly dangerous and downright reckless situations-is the fact that this behavior took place within the home and under the noses of those who claim to be maintaining a positive and safe home environment for you."_

 _Callie's tears almost took her voice but she couldn't let this go without saying something "None of this is Stef and Lena's fault!" she screamed as she leapt to her feet. Her scream was disrupted however, with the judges' gavel banging harshly against his bench desk._

" _Please be quiet, Ms. Adams Foster! I understand and appreciate that you have been through a lot, but this is still my courtroom. Another outburst like that and I will not hesitate to have you thrown into jail for contempt!"_

 _Callie bit her lip and looked down at her hands angrily. She knew that there was nothing she could do at this point, but she could never sit quietly and allow these two women to be blamed for her mistakes. And there were so, so many. None of which Callie would ever be comfortable having blamed on Stef and Lena._

" _Now," The judge continued in a measured tone. "As I have said, all of the many situations leading up to this case, which have been presented to me have been deeply troubling to say the least. However, even in light of the many precarious choices that have been made by Ms. Adams Foster recently, it is still possible to see that perhaps you are just the kind of young woman who would behave in this manner, no matter the influence. No matter the environment. So for this reason, I would not use any of what I have mentioned as a reason to pass judgment on you or on your mothers."_

 _Callie looked up at the judge with something that felt like fear and hope fighting for dominance in her chest. Could she possibly be relieved? Would he really allow her to remain as she was now? Not allowing the one anchor that she had been holding on to for years to break away?_

" _So, what I am saying is that the court recognizes and understands that Callie is at this point, very nearly an adult and therefore she is perfectly capable of taking responsibility for her actions. There is no parent who can be pointed to, to bear the brunt of the decisions that she has made. As is the case, I will not now nor will I ever hold the Misses Adams Fosters responsible for this behavior. Nor will they be made to suffer for it."_

 _What he was saying sounded positive. It sounded as though Callie would be able to remain with the Adams Fosters and there would be no need for goodbyes. No need for anymore suffering. But…then why did she still feel so unsure? So weighed down by the thought of nothing changing?_

" _Regardless of all of this, however," the judge continued and again Callie stared up into his eyes, this time not allowing her stare to shake from him, "I still cannot suppress the plain and simple fact that this entire adoption was founded on and approved through pretense and lies."_

 _The judge stared hard at Stef now and as stubborn as she was she would not look away. Callie saw Lena fiercely gripping her hand and noted how she seemingly steadied her wife, as if actively helping her maintain her defiant glare. "You, Mrs. Adams Foster, blackmailed a man, who, while maybe not a completely blameless husband, was certainly at no fault in being a father wanting to gain custody of his before unknown child. And then, adding insult to injury, you followed this up with an underhanded attempt to get his daughter emancipated. Not only was the blackmailing a despicable act in and of itself to say the least. But to do this so as to force and coerce him into giving up his custody was more than despicable; it was truly heinous."_

 _Finished with Stef, The judge glanced at Rita Hendricks, who sat near the two women with what could only be seen as an accepting, glazed look in her eyes. "And you allowed a known and clearly conflicting issue of importance to remain hidden and suppressed the witness, all in order to aid these women in taking someone else's child from them. And I must say, Ms. Hendricks, I question your motives more than anyone else's in this matter, as to my understanding, you had no particular stake in this. But ultimately, I must still say shame on you, Rita. I have known you and your work for many years and it is safe to say that you should certainly have known better."_

 _This time his gaze turned to Callie and although there was a hint of sympathy in his eyes, he was clearly disappointed in her as well. "And you…I cannot pretend to understand why you would even want to go through with this adoption after having been…intimate with someone so entrenched and deeply rooted in this family. I cannot begin to understand it and I will not try. I do however understand that it was a consensual act and by no means intend to shame you for it."_

 _Callie refused to look away and she tried not to blink, because she knew that if she did, the tears would begin again and never stop from that point forward._

 _"With all of t_ _hat_ _said, however, what I_ _ **can**_ _do is to undo some of the damage that I helped to cause in breaking up a family that should never have been broken up to begin with, in light of all of the aforementioned revelations."_

 _Callie knew him so well that she knew without looking at him that Brandon's eyes were now honed in on the floor. He wouldn't look at her now. He couldn't. She also knew how much he would blame himself for what she was certain was coming next._

 _Judge Jeffrey Ringer picked up the sheet in front of him and after putting on his glasses, said in an official and resounding tone, "The petition to the court by Robert Quinn to overturn the adoption of Callie Adams Foster on the basis of fraud and coercion is hereby granted. From this moment forward, your parents of record are once again, Colleen Jacob and Robert Quinn and your name is reinstated to that of Callie Quinn Jacob."_

 _Callie could hear the sobs breaking from Stef and they pained her ears to an extent that she had to zone them out. Mariana was screaming and it seemed as though Jude was too. But Callie couldn't fully tell as their sobs and sounds seemed to diminish and lessen until she could hear nothing but the sound of her heartbeat pounding through her mind. She was vaguely aware of Robert gripping her left hand, but even this felt foreign, as though she were a stiff doll being handled by a curious child._

 _Tuning back in to the judge, Callie heard him saying, "With this said, effective immediately, all legal and parental authority is awarded to Robert Quinn and sole custody is also granted to him. The court will allow 30 days for Miss Jacob to be remanded to her father's care and until such time she may remain with her current caretakers."_

 _Caretakers…that's what he was calling them. Her Moms. The women who had taken Callie in and loved her as their own from the very beginning. Callie almost felt as though she were in a nightmare of some kind. And she prayed for an awakening that didn't seem to be coming._

 _With a final look at Callie and a thin grimace, Judge Ringer finished by saying, "It is so ordered." The sound of the gavel banging brought an end to the hearing and the judge stood and walked away, as though he had not just devastated several lives with his few sentences._

 _At the sound, Callie felt herself suddenly surrounded by and encased in multiple sets of arms. Whose? Robert's? Sophia's? Her stepmother, Jill's? Maybe even her lawyer's. Callie wasn't sure and in this moment she didn't care._

 _Callie was hearing them, hearing them saying they loved her and how happy they were and how amazing it was that they could finally be a family, but she wasn't listening. Not to them. Instead her eyes searched the room. Landed on Stef and Lena. Lena and Stef…Mom and Mama…could she still call them that? What would she call them now? Who could they be to her if not her mothers?_

 _Stef was engulfed in Lena, her head buried in the woman's chest as Lena gazed at Callie with a longing that Callie had never seen. It was clear that she was aching from deep within and guilt began gnawing at Callie viciously._

 _Next, Callie swiveled her head from the gripping arms to look at Jude and Mariana. They too were hugging and Jude was looking at her. His face was awash in disappointment but he seemed calm, resigned. The only proof of his pain was the tears that slipped silently down his face. Mariana was silent as well, but her face was dripping and her eyes were laced with what Callie could only read as an unforgiving anger. She was angry. As Hell. Callie had no time to wonder at whom exactly, but she knew that she would find out soon enough._

 _Last of all, Callie searched for those eyes. His eyes. The greyish green ones that pierced her with every glance. She had to see his eyes. She had to know what he was thinking, feeling in this moment. She had to._

 _But his seat, nearest to hers of anyone's was empty. His eyes and he were gone. And she wasn't sure how to feel about that._

 _Callie breathed in deeply as she steadied herself and allowed the hands that were gripping her to become tangible. She allowed herself to slowly materialize into this moment and instead of worrying about those who surrounded her, or Stef and Lena, Jude and Mariana or even Brandon, she thought about how she felt. What was encompassing her at this moment? What was she feeling at the realization that it was over now? She would not be now, nor ever again an Adams Foster?_

 _And when Callie felt it and when she recognized the feeling, she began to gasp for breath, to cry and wail and sob uncontrollably. She felt so pained, so betrayed by her own feelings in that moment that it was all she could do not fall into the floor in despair. "What is it, Callie? Sweetheart, what's wrong?" her father said but Callie's sobs continued as she waited for the realization to fully wash over her and let her breathe finally._

 _Moments later, finally consoled, Callie breathed deeply beside Robert and listened to his words as he sat with her on the small wooden bench outside of the courtroom. "What do you want, Callie? What can I do to make it better? To make you okay?" Callie looked at him and tried to think for a moment. What could make this better? What could make it okay. But no answer to that question came. So instead, Callie just said the only words that could form in her mind "I…I just want to go home." She said and she knew that Robert would take her._

 _ **That Night**_

 _Callie lay on her pillow staring at the ceiling and waiting for the tears to come again at the remembrance. The remembrance was of what she had felt in the courtroom that morning when she realized that it was finally over and she would no longer have to lie about herself, her feelings or her past. She felt it rising up in her again and fought the tears that welled with the realization once more and instead just allowed the tears to come as she felt the sting of the betrayal she felt for her feeling in response to knowing that she was no longer to be an Adams Foster._

 _What Callie had felt in that moment, was…_ ** _relief_** _._


	2. Chapter 1

**_Chapter One:_**

 **Strangers. Appreciating.**

 ** _Almost One Year Later_**

 **(November)**

Callie reread the line for the third time, but she wasn't sure why as she honestly had no idea what she was even reading. Today was so…blah. She didn't feel like reading and certainly didn't feel like trying to pretend that she could be distracted from the upcoming holiday. For more reasons than one.

This would be Callie's second Thanksgiving without her former "Forever Family" and it hurt. More than hurt. It was like an ache that clawed inside her chest. But, she'd learned how to live with pain before and she knew that she would deal with this pain in the same way, but still. With no one-and no book captivating enough-to distract her from the ache, she was barely holding it together.

Callie glanced around the coffee shop, Coffee Cozy, absently. She'd gotten up this morning and gotten dressed. Even trying one of the infamous "Looking hot, will make you feel hot!" makeovers that Mariana had devised and wearing sky high heels because "Being tall, will make you feel tall!" Which was another exuberant phrase by Mariana, Callie felt no better. Callie glanced down at the black heels with gold points at the toe, ankle and heel and tried to remember when she'd even gotten them. She honestly couldn't remember, but something told her it was on one of many legendary shopping trips with Mariana.

 _Mariana_. She seemed to be so heavy on Callie's mind and she wasn't quite sure why. Callie shook her head realizing that of course she knew why. Mariana had been her sister. Her dearest friend. Her girl. Mariana was maybe the Adams Fosters that she missed most of all. Callie felt badly even thinking this way, but she knew the reason that she did. It was because Mariana was the member of the household who was the most openly hurt. The one who wouldn't even speak to her now. The most missing, so the most missed. 

" _How could you_ _ **do**_ _that, Callie?!"_

" _Do_ _ **what**_ _?! Be exposed? Be forcibly un-adopted?!"_

" _No!" Mariana shouted through tears as she stood in the doorway of Callie's "new" bedroom at the Quinns'. It was a little over two weeks after the adoption had been officially reversed and Mariana had finally come to see Callie unannounced, fully armed with her justified anger._

" _How could you just give up? You didn't even fight it! You didn't_ ** _say_** _a word!" Now the tears overtook her voice and Mariana bit them back as she whispered out in pained disgust "You…you didn't even_ ** _try_** _…"_

" _Mariana? All I ever did was_ ** _try_** _. I tried to be there for Jude and you. And everyone. I tried to fit in, to make…make everyone happy. To not feel the way I felt about…" Callie paused and continued on in a different direction, shaking her head as the tears captured her voice as well. "I-I tried so hard to be a part of the family and not feel like…like I don't know some damaged freak. But…after someone sent that tape to the judge? After I knew everything was over…really over? I just couldn't do it anymore. I couldn't try to fight it anymore, Mariana. I just…I don't have it in me…Not anymore…I'm sorry."_

 _Mariana shook her head vigorously and Callie could almost see that there was some small crack in her fiery spirit. Callie waited with bated breath for Mariana's infamously sharp-tongued response, knowing that whatever she would say next would hurt more than anything she'd ever said before. But instead, Mariana did something that hurt Callie even more; she said nothing. Instead, she just shook her head and with one last look of disappointment and disgust, she stormed down the stairs and out of Callie's life._

 _Mariana hadn't spoken to Callie since._

Tuning back in to the present, Callie glanced around the atmosphere of the light and airy café. The browns and oranges caused a cozy, yet bright demeanor. This, combined with the way that the employees were all required to say "Have a Cozy Coffee day!" when they provided you with your drink, with their plastered fake smiles and ponytails almost made Callie queasy. Something about false happiness-or even real happiness honestly-always made Callie feel so distrustful. Moments of pain had far outweighed moments of pleasure in her life and she was more comfortable with angst than this setting would allow.

Still, Callie was determined not to focus on her pessimistic thoughts and tried once more to sink into the book. Her brown hair fell over her hand in her natural waves as she leaned her head down and started again.

" _It was as if that great rush of anger had washed me clean, emptied me of hope, and, gazing up at the dark sky spangled with its signs and stars, for the first time, the first, I laid my heart open to the benign indifference of the universe._

" _To feel it so like myself, indeed, so brotherly, made me realize that I'd been happy, and that I was happy still. For all to be accomplished, for me to feel less lonely, all that remained to hope was that on the day of my execution there should be a huge crowd of spectators and that they should greet me with howls of execration."_

"Excuse me miss? Would you mind autographing my copy?"

The sound of the voice was like a wave crashing all around her and Callie was almost scared to look up for fear that she was imagining it. Her breathe stilled as she did look up slowly, immediately taking in the face that she knew by heart.

The stubble on his face…New…Sexy.

The often-unseen and therefore much appreciated grin.

His hair, curls tumbling around his ears, as usual.

And his eyes… _those_ eyes…green…grey…piercing. Eyes Callie could get lost in.

Every.

Fucking.

Time.

Brandon Foster.

"Brandon?" Callie hissed, fighting the urge to launch herself up and into his arms. Instead, she eased up from her seat and allowed his arms to swallow her. Brandon lifted her off of the ground in a tight embrace and she felt herself going dizzy.

The hug lasted. And lasted. And Callie waited, trying to determine the appropriate amount of time to hold onto him before easing herself away. But, for the first time in a long time, Brandon was holding her, breathing her in and allowing her to do the same to him. Without fear. Without…shame. And Callie wanted to revel in this feeling for as long as possible.

Just as soon as Callie was thinking that she might not be able to let him go, Brandon set her on her feet and removed her need to decide when she would have to release him.

"Callie…" Brandon said softly and again the stare. It was as though he was seeing her for the first time. In all honesty he was seeing her for the first time in nearly a year, but still. It felt…different somehow.

Brandon pulled out the brown chair that sat opposite hers and for some reason Callie hadn't remembered until that moment that they could sit down, talk. Not just stand staring at one another for eternity.

"Oh my God, Brandon." Callie said, suddenly remembering why she had felt so shocked at seeing him, "What are you _doing_ here? Aren't you supposed to be in New York? Practicing or rehearsing or…something?"

Brandon's smile didn't quite reach his eyes and Callie hated herself for catching this as he said "Yea…or something…" his laugh was forced, but she wasn't sure if it was because of what he was clearly not saying or just general awkwardness at seeing her again. Brandon glanced up at her and smiled coolly.

Less than a month after the adoption reversal, Brandon had moved to New York in preparation and anticipation of being able to re-audition and apply for Juilliard. From what Callie understood this had been highly protested by Lena, while Stef seemed in full support or at least Callie hadn't heard that she'd put up much fuss about it, which was very unlike her. Apparently, Brandon had used some of the money that Stef's mother had given each of the kids for school as seed money for the move. Callie wasn't certain what all he was doing there, but she had heard through Jesus that he'd been working as a pianist in some hotel for the time being.

"But, no. Mom wanted me home for Thanksgiving. She'll probably want me home for every Thanksgiving for the rest of ever, being that it's in the same week as my birthday and all."

Callie tried to feign forgetfulness. She'd remembered that it would be close to his birthday. Of course she had. But, something about the year that they'd spent apart, made her not want to let him know that she had "Oh, yea. That sounds like Mom…Stef…" She said shaking her head and faltering a bit at her slip. She'd been training herself out of it for so long. Trying to see them as her former forever family. Not because this is what she'd wanted, but because it was just how it was.

It was similar-although just opposite-to how she'd felt when she'd had to call Brandon her "brother" because that was how it was, even though that wasn't how she felt. Not because she didn't want him to be. But because he wasn't that to her. He never had been and never would be. And she'd dealt with the shame of feeling badly about it for so long, that there was a freedom in not having to hide in the shadows of calling Brandon, her ex-boyfriend, her first love, her first…time, her "brother".

"I'm sure you can still call her that." Brandon said, staring down at his hands. This was a habit of his, Callie knew. He looked down when he was worried, uncomfortable, ashamed, guilt-ridden, pained. Any uncomfortable emotional happening that he couldn't shape or change, Brandon always glanced down and Callie always hated it. How many times had she wanted to lift his head up and tell him that he had nothing to feel shamed about?

"Not so sure she would agree with you there." Callie said, doing her best to get Brandon talking. She wanted to know how he felt, Stef felt, _everyone_ felt. She missed them all so much. But something inside just wasn't letting her reach out to them as she would have normally.

Brandon lifted his eyes and focused in on Callie, "Why do you say that?"

"Since the…hearing, Stef hasn't really…well; she doesn't really talk to me."

"What do you mean _she_ doesn't talk to _you_? Do _you_ talk to her?" As usual, Brandon was getting right to the root of the issue. He'd never pulled punches with Callie and she'd always hated it. Mostly because he was usually right.

"Well…not exactly, no."

"Okay, then."

"But, it's not like I don't want to. I'm pretty sure she doesn't want to hear from me."

Brandon tilted his head at Callie with an incredulous look and Callie felt her breath catch a little. So strange that a small gesture from him could cause so much emotion to grip her. Brandon raised his right hand motioning for a waiter as he said "Callie, you're just being as stubborn as Mom is. You always have been. You know she'd want to hear from you, she just…maybe doesn't know what to say."

"But, I mean. I've spoken to everyone else."

"You have?"

"Well, yea. Jude mostly and even Jesus sometimes. And Lena too. She writes me oddly, enough."

"Why is that odd? She's L-"

"Lena, I know." Callie laughed, but finished saying "But, I mean. She literally writes me like, these pages long letters asking me how I am and what I'm up to. And I always call her and respond to her questions, because I'm not much of a writer."

"Writer." Brandon said with her nodding.

"Right, and of course being Lena she goes on talking and acting like it's the most normal thing in the world and keeps writing me letters that I respond to with phone calls."

Brandon laughed absently with a slight shake of his head.

Then, as if remembering something he said, "But wait a minute, let's go back to what you said before…you talk to Jude _mostly and_ _even_ _Jesus sometimes_ _?_ What about Mariana?"

Callie eyed Brandon with a knowing look. "Brandon, you know Mariana doesn't want to talk to me."

"Callie…" Brandon started but Callie raised her eyebrows doubtfully and he stopped himself short. "No, you're right. I know. I get it. Mariana is still angry."

The waitress was a slight, pretty girl with a sprinkle of freckles and a bouncy blonde ponytail. Brandon ordered a black coffee with one sugar and Callie eyed him curiously.

When the waitress walked away, Callie teased "Whoa, Brandon? Since when do you drink black coffee? I don't even think I've ever seen you drink caffeine, period. Let alone black."

Brandon looked down and tugged at his hands absently, another nervous habit that Callie knew too well. "I don't know. Just a part of growing up I guess." He looked into her eyes once more. "Change."

Callie smiled lightly and glanced away from him. He had been her best friend. Closer to her than anyone else ever had been. And at one time, but only once, she felt like he was the closest being to her on earth. But, now? Now, Callie just felt so strange before him. It was weird, because it was like she didn't know who to be with him now.

Brandon must have sensed her need for a quiet moment because he matched her and instead of talking glanced about the room silently. This afforded Callie the chance to take in his attire. His jeans, relaxed and a bit worn, grey striped shirt and loose-fitting khaki jacket. But, moreso than his clothing, Callie noticed his eyes. They seemed so different. So tired. It was as if during the year that they'd spent apart, while he was only a little less than a year older, his eyes had aged decades. It made Callie feel a little sad for a reason that she couldn't place.

The waitress appeared again and Callie noted that she handed Brandon his coffee with a gentle but flirtatious touch of her hand and the girlish smile to match. It didn't stir up jealously in her as it may have in the past, but instead she found it interesting to consider that Brandon may be as attractive on sight to others as he was to her always. _If a bit of dorky at the same time._ Callie smiled at the thought.

Brandon, as usual, seemed not to notice the girl's gesture, simply thanked her for the cup and immediately blew on it absent-mindedly. Callie watched his lips forming a small o as they blew and she forced herself to shake away from focusing on his lips and stared back at her book again.

After a few more moments of silence as Brandon sipped from his cup and Callie tried to read her book, Brandon broke the silence once more saying "So…big plans for Thanksgiving?"

Callie looked up at him and he was watching her intently. He seemed to be searching her expression and she wasn't sure why. She answered easily, honestly. "I wouldn't say, big, exactly. Thanksgiving is literally like Jill's favorite holiday, so she makes this Thanksgiving lunch that melts into dinner and by the end of the night everyone is so stuffed that no one can even remember what they ate."

Brandon laughed out suddenly and Callie continued, "It's not funny, Brandon! It's kinda ridiculous actually. They really take it too far."

"No, I wasn't laughing about that." Brandon said, setting down his cup with fervor. "I was thinking about you and Jude. When you were first with us and Jude helped Mama cook the turkey?"

Callie remembered the day well and broke into a matching smile "Right? And we both teased them because they started too late and turned it up too high. So it was half-cooked on the inside-"

"And burnt on the outside!" Brandon finished as the two laughed together.

"And then-" Callie said giggling "Stef got so mad that she made us cut the onions for the stuffing!"

"Yea, and we were both laughing and crying and our eyes were stinging so bad. But it was _so_ funny, because Mom was _so_ mad!" Brandon continued to laugh along with Callie.

Suddenly Callie felt eyes on them and although Brandon was still caught up in his laughter, she glanced around, the feeling of being on display creeping up against her neck. She caught the eye of an older woman sitting closely to them. Callie steadied herself for the well-known look of startled curiosity and began to blush as she looked the woman in her face.

But…Callie was shocked when she saw what was in the stranger's eyes instead of judgment, the woman seemed to be genuinely tickled or touched by what she saw. And Callie realized that the woman was likely regarding theirs as the familiar laughter of two old friends. The look in the woman's eyes being a humorous appreciation, instead of a nonverbal criticism caught Callie a little off guard, but she also felt that strange new sensation of freedom wrapping her in its arms once more.

"I wish we could have more moments like that."

Brandon's voice snapped Callie back to attention and she glanced at him curiously "What do you mean? You want to cut a mountain of onions and burn our eyes out again?"

"No, no. I mean. Spending time together. You, with us. The holidays are the perfect time for it, you know?" Brandon seemed to be suggesting something, with his cloying smile but Callie couldn't quite grasp what.

"I mean…I know. But, that's not really possible, anymore."

"Why not?"

"Because…"

"Because…why?"

"Because you know why, Brandon. The Quinns'? I mean, I spent Thanksgiving _and_ Christmas with them last year. I'm sure they're expecting me to do it again this year."

"And? You said yourself that Jill does a Thanksgiving lunch. You know Moms won't have dinner on the table until nearly midnight. You can do both."

Callie finally allowed herself to accept what Brandon was insinuating. "You're saying you want me to come to Thanksgiving at you guy's house?"

"Noooo. I'm saying: you are coming to Thanksgiving at our house. Period. Have your lunch with the Quinns' and then come to Moms and have dinner with us. It's not a request." Brandon finished matter-of-factly with a shrug as he sipped from his coffee cup again and shrugged. "It's kinda just what's going to happen."

"But, Brandon…" Callie semi-whined,

"Callie…" Brandon said matching her whining tone.

Callie smiled but finished her statement seriously "I can't do that. I can't just invite myself to your family dinner."

"Callie, you're not inviting yourself. I am."

"I know. And…" Callie looked down at her hands as she traced the cover of the book with her fingers, nervously. "I mean, it's really sweet of you to offer. But, I don't really think everyone will want me there." Mariana….Her dad…maybe Stef. Callie was honestly pretty sure no one would want her there and suddenly she felt like crying.

"Did you get me a birthday present?" Brandon asked suddenly and Callie's confusion immediately overtook her sadness and she laughed in spite of herself. It wasn't like Brandon to ask something like this, but she answered anyway.

"No…" Callie said with a slight shake of her head. It wasn't as if she'd known Brandon would even be here on his birthday. Callie sighed deeply, glancing back down at the book.

Callie jumped slightly as she felt Brandon's fingers gently lifting her chin until she was staring into his eyes. Hers, tear-brimmed; his, earnest and searching. "Then this is what I want for my birthday: for you to come home. Be with us for Thanksgiving." Brandon said, nodding as he spoke and then pulling his hand away from her face before the moment lasted too long.

Callie gulped a bit and hated Brandon in this moment. She wanted to protest again, but she knew her answer now before she spoke it aloud.

"Okay."


	3. Chapter 2

_**Chapter 2:**_

 **Home. Missing.**

The stars lit up the darkened, cloudy sky.

Still, Callie remained behind the wheel, gripping it tightly.

It hadn't been as hard as she'd thought it would be to slip away. After all, the Quinns' had such a large social circle that Callie was literally only one of maybe 60 people they had over on Thanksgiving. And to be completely transparent, Callie had told the three of them in the morning that she'd be spending the evening at the Adams Fosters.

Sophia nodded warmly and her stepmother Jill smiled tightly, but there was an obvious understanding in her eyes. But, Robert? Callie could see the disappointment in his eyes. But, she was determined to stand her ground.

Callie couldn't pretend that she didn't have a low, steady anger at the choice Robert had made to seek her adoption being reversed. If she was being completely fair, she honestly understood it. But, she just couldn't let go of the thought that he'd ripped her away from her home. The home she'd had for almost 2 years. Most importantly, the home she'd wanted.

Whatever her father's objections, he didn't voice them. Callie was grateful for this. She didn't feel like arguing with him about it, but she knew that she would have.

Now, Callie stared at the front of the Adams Foster house and felt herself getting a little teary. It was weird. She had been told that she was welcome here "Any time". Lena had said it so sincerely. Stef had said it too, but Callie hadn't been able to thoroughly feel her sentiment. And then there was Jude, of course. Callie tried to visit him whenever she could, but honestly, being that he was a little over 16 with a full social life, volunteer obligations to beef up his college applications and a boyfriend, more and more Callie found herself trying to be fit into _his_ schedule.

Slowly, the tears began to build and Callie thought about the memories here. Coming and going. Laughing and singing. Family Game Night; Mariana's idiotic two girl slumber parties; Jesus's random all night one-man ragers; Brandon's piano playing filling up the house and spilling out into the streets. Spilling into her dreams.

Callie missed them. Her family. Everyone and everything that it entailed. They were messy and angry and happy and sad and complicated and dramatic and devastating. But they were hers. Hers. And she missed every single one of them bitterly.

Callie leaned her head against the steering wheel. Her hair was pulled into a messy bun, and her makeup was minimal. But she could feel a minimal mascara-damaging cryfest coming on. How could she face them, she wondered? There was that aching clawing inside of her chest again. And the thought of Stef's eyes on her. The thought of Jude's even. And Mariana's.

Suddenly, Callie felt panic creeping up her neck and she closed her eyes at the familiar feeling of an attack coming on. She hadn't had one in months, but at one point they were constant and consuming. Callie breathed deeply until the feeling passed. _Calm down_ , she told herself shaking off the emotions.

Callie glanced in her rearview mirror and the tears were misted over her eyes, her face was a mask of near-terror and the thought hit her: How _could_ she possibly face everyone? And in this moment, Callie realized: she couldn't.

And she wouldn't.

Placing her left hand on the steering wheel and her right on the key, Callie was just about to turn the car on and disappear off into the night, when the soft rapping against the window startled and interrupted her.

Callie whipped her head toward the sound and found Brandon staring down at her curiously. Shaking herself out of her stupor, she lowered the window a little and smiled up at him awkwardly.

"Hi." Callie said guiltily, her hand dropping from the key.

"Hi," Brandon said with a curious half smile as he motioned for her to open the car door.

Callie unlocked the door and Brandon pulled it open, with a worried look. "This is usually the part where you get out of the car and you know, come into the house…?" as he finished the sentence he motioned toward the house comedically.

Callie sighed and glanced at Brandon, shaking her head. "I was just about to-" she said softly, but the rest of the statement remained stuck in the back of her throat. She swallowed back the tears and remembered that this was Brandon's birthday gift. So, no, she couldn't leave. Callie steadied herself and stepped out of the car.

Callie acted as though she hadn't seen Brandon's hand reaching out for her and instead she walked purposefully ahead of him, towards the door. "Callie?" Brandon called gently and Callie stopped in her tracks. He was behind her. Not too far away but not uncomfortably close and she knew what he wanted from her but she couldn't do it. Callie could not turn around to face him or she knew that she would break. The most that she could do at this moment was to stop and stand. Listen to what he needed to say.

"Callie," Brandon started again and she could sense that he was inching closer. Callie locked her arms around herself protectively. She didn't want to be touched right now. Most of all, she didn't need _him_ touching her. She knew he would know this by her gesture and sure enough, his stride forward was silenced.

"If this is…I mean… I didn't know it would bother you…not like this. If it's too much for you to be here…now, I mean. Y-you don't have to come in. Go be with the Quinns'. I wanted you here because I wanted to see you and for you to be with us. For you to know that this is still your family. But, if I had known that it would make you feel…however it is that you're feeling right now? I wouldn't have…"

Brandon's words trailed off and Callie could feel the tears welling again. She didn't want to be this way. She felt like a whirlwind of…everything at the moment, but she knew that this wouldn't change anytime soon. But, it wasn't Brandon's fault. She didn't want him thinking that it was.

Steadying herself, Callie turned towards Brandon. He wasn't looking at the ground this time. Instead, his eyes lasered in on her and Callie caught her breath. The moonlight shining around his face and hair, bouncing off of his eyes. He was so beautiful.

Swallowing back her gasp, Callie said in a small voice "I'm okay…it's just. I miss…well, everyone. A lot." Brandon gave a small, sad smile and his infamous glance at the ground stabbed Callie's heart. This was why she hadn't wanted to tell him. She knew that the memory of _why_ she was no longer here, a part of the family, would cause Brandon to think of his "part" in it. Callie didn't want that for him. She knew more than anyone how it felt to be shamed for doing something that was motivated by nothing but love.

As usual, Callie was able to push away her own emotions to save Brandon from having to experience any and she mustered a smile, reaching out and gripping his hand. Brandon seemed startled at her touch and looked up at her in surprise and she said again—this time her face purposefully lighter. "I'm alright. I really am. I wasn't sad…Not really. I'm actually happy. I mean, I _do_ miss everyone. But, I also can't wait to see them." Callie finished by giving Brandon's hand a little squeeze and adding a smile for his benefit.

Brandon's cautious half-smile told Callie that he didn't fully believe her. But, he seemed willing to go along with her shakily explained pretense if it meant that she would come inside.

Callie released Brandon's hand and nodded at him shortly, turning back towards the door and making her way up the steps.

Brandon knew her. Knew her so well. Still. Callie hated it. She wondered if she would ever develop the ability to really lie to him. She'd always hoped for it, but the closest she'd ever come was a thinly masked hostility or a full-throttled indifference. Both of which she hated, but had mastered to an extent that they were her go-tos. Now, however, maybe there was no need. She and Brandon weren't siblings anymore, foster or otherwise. Hell, they weren't even friends. The thought pained her more than ever to admit, but it was the truth.

Callie hadn't even realized that she was hesitating in front of the door until Brandon reached around her right arm and opened it.

And just like that, Callie was back.

Back Home.


	4. Chapter 3

_**Chapter 3:**_

 **Less. Home. (Giving. Thanks.)**

"Callie!" Sharon screamed and Callie smiled at her gratefully as she enveloped Callie in an almost laughable hug. Leave it to Sharon, Stef's mother, to break any and all tension with an over-the-top scream. All eyes were on Callie immediately, her presence announced and at the same time, all awkwardness would be avoided. Well, at least Callie hoped.

Callie's eyes scanned the room. Lena was heading towards her, her hair in its usual curly mane regally tumbling around her head. Her brown eyes were the picture of warmth as she smiled brightly and hugged Callie close to her saying in a near-whisper "So good to see you." Callie almost burst into tears immediately, but managed to hold them in. She also still had the sense of Brandon being close behind her. As though watching, waiting for her to regain her footing before he would leave her side.

As always.

Jude was next. His smile was genuine, but there was also an annoyance in his eyes. He quickly expressed the source, saying with his usual flair for bite "You could have told me you were coming!" As he wrapped her into his arms. Callie smiled and laughed a little. Still, he was her Jude. No matter what happened. Same home, same dad, different dads, different homes, this was unchanging. Jude was _hers_. Always and forever and Callie loved him for it.

Callie also noted from Jude's statement that Brandon hadn't told anyone she was coming and she immediately knew why. It was in case Callie needed an out. _Damn him!_ _He still knows me, so well_. Callie thought. _Too well_.

Jude grabbed Callie's hand and pulled her toward the table. Callie felt a surge of familiar sadness as she noted that Mariana, although dressed brightly in bright orange floral skirt and yellow top, an orange flower in her hair, held a somber, dismal look and remained seated. Not only seated but staring down at her plate. Not even bothering to pretend that she was pleased to see Callie.

Jesus was another story, as he awkwardly almost stumbled out of his chair and lunged for Callie to the extent that she almost lost her balance. Thankfully, he caught her up, swinging her off of her feet into a bear hug that felt rib crushing. "Good to see you, sis!" Jesus said burying his baby face into Callie's hair. Callie tried to speak but as he was crushing out the air in her lungs she couldn't. Instead, she squeaked "Thanks…you…too."

"Jesus?! Put her down!" Grandma Dana-also loveably called "Grams"-said in her usual dramatic tones "You're shaking her like a rag doll!" Callie had never been so thankful to hear Lena's mother's voice. Jesus listened obediently and dropped her almost immediately. Callie nearly stumbled to the ground, but caught herself in enough time that Brandon, who was still standing behind her, didn't have to. _Thank God_ , Callie thought. She didn't want to begin to imagine the look in Stef's eyes at _that_ scene.

 _Stef_. Maybe, she'd been unconsciously blocking her out, but Callie realized she hadn't seen her eyes, yet. And hers were the ones she was most aware of. Most in need of seeing. Callie glanced around for her, craving her acceptance and dreading her disapproval all at once. But…she wasn't here, Callie realized. The sigh of relief caught her off guard.

 ** _A Little Later_**

Callie wasn't sure how she'd gotten here, but she was sitting beside Jude. Grandma Sharon was to her left. Lena at the head, as usual. Brandon on the other side of the table, near Jesus and Mariana, who continued examining her stuffing as though it was the most interesting thing happening.

Jude was going on and on. Callie tried to pay attention, but she couldn't help wondering where Stef was. "…so the project is nowhere _near_ finished, it's due next weekend and he expects _me_ to finish it, but I don't wanna be his whipping boy anymore. I mean, what do you think?" Jude finished and looked at Callie expectantly. He seemed to be waiting for her take on something, but Callie had no idea what.

"Um…"Callie began but, she needed a lifeline. The last thing she wanted was for anyone to notice that she was so out of step with her brother that she could hardly listen to a 2-minute story without her mind wandering to what her former-adoptive mother was going to think of seeing her sitting here.

 _When did my life get so complicated?_

"Sounds to me like you should ask for a new partner." Callie heard the reassuring voice tossing out the answer easily and she looked at Brandon, who was sitting directly across from Jude. Brandon's quick glance to Callie let her know that he had seen her floundering and dived in to save her.

As always.

"I mean if the guy is making you do all the work, at least he shouldn't get to have all the credit." Brandon finished, answering the question and at the same time filling Callie in on what she'd missed. Callie was grateful, but Jude only nodded, smiling tightly. Callie didn't miss Jude's icy demeanor towards Brandon. The few times she had been around the two of them together since the reversal, it was easy to see that Jude was not a fan of Brandon's. Not anymore, at least. _Just another relationship down the drain thanks to me,_ Callie thought sadly.

"Not exactly." Jude began dismissively, not even holding Brandon's gaze for more than a few seconds before he glanced back to Callie "Like I said, Max is the superintendent's son after all. He's sort of used to floating."

Callie shook her head now, being caught up enough to add something to the conversation "Well, that might be true…But just because someone's used to something, doesn't mean that it's the way that things should be." Callie finished and caught Brandon's short smile at her.

"And to be honest, you're kinda the one who taught me that." Callie said giving Jude's hand a short squeeze. At only 13, Jude had stood up to his first boyfriend Connor's homophobic and bigoted father, demanding to be allowed to see his friend when he was wounded in the hospital. Jude would ultimately come out and declare Connor his first boyfriend and first love.

This hadn't been a journey that Callie had been able to guide or help Jude on, but one of the first ones he'd taken all by himself. Callie had been a bit sad about that part, but also extremely proud of him. She would never forget the bravery he had shown in standing up for what he believed. For his truth.

Callie smiled at Jude as he gave Callie a wondrous look, nodding his head at her last words, as if she hadn't just repeated Brandon's idea and said "That's _so_ true. Ok. I'll talk to the teacher after the break." Jude seemed satisfied that his dilemma was resolved and relief washed over Callie as she blew out her breath.

The small crisis over, Callie glanced around the room with a sudden wave of remembrance; the wall hangings, the paintings, the colorful Thanksgiving décor-no doubt engineered by Lena. Callie had memorized it all. Everything had changed and yet everything was still the same. Callie had so missed this place. These people.

Sharon was going on about something that her long-term boyfriend Will had repaired. Dana was busy making sure that no one's plate stayed empty for too long. Jesus was laughing at some private joke with Mariana-Callie noted the first smile on her face since she'd arrived-while Jude was concentrating on his plate. Lena was giving her advice to her father about cutting back for his diet. But still, Stef was nowhere to be seen and no one except Callie seemed at all unnerved by this.

Callie tried to stay quiet as long as possible. She wanted no attention, but her curiosity was killing her. Her eyes met Brandon's and he seemed as pre-occupied as she was. When their eyes met, he paused and clearly noticed her anxious expression. He asked her the question silently, knitting his brows with the question. _What's wrong?_

Callie answered him with a glance at Stef's chair, raising her eyebrows in a question. _Where is Stef?_

Brandon nodded shortly and motioned his head toward the kitchen. _The kitchen?_ Callie thought. It was odd, because Lena was the undisputed cook of the house. Stef could cook, of course, but she usually didn't. And it had been nearly 20 minutes. _What could she be doing in the kitchen all this time?_

As if on cue, Stef finally stepped into the room nearly screeching "Happy Birthday to you!" carrying a large turkey shaped cake. Also on cue, literally everyone, excepting Brandon and Callie, leapt to their feet and sang out "Happy Birthday to you! Happy Birthday to you! Happy Birthday Dear, Brandon! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!"

Callie watched in awe as the brown and orange turkey cake, blazing with fire lit up Stef's eyes. Her black calf-length dress flowed out around her like a billowy blanket and her blonde hair, which had grown a little past her ears at this point, framed her head like a solid golden crown.

She was so beautiful in this moment that all Callie could think of was how happy and whole Stef seemed. It was obviously a surprise for Brandon's 19th, although his birthday wasn't for another few days. Callie leapt to her feet as soon as her thoughts would allow, joining into the song that was dragging on and on as Brandon shook his head in a mix of embarrassment, amusement and laughter.

"You're officially a man now." Stef said, as the song ended engulfing Brandon in a proud hug. "My very first little baby. All grown up." She said stepping back and holding his hands as tears welled in her eyes.

"Mom…please."

"Please, nothing. Give me this, okay?" Stef said playfully and Brandon dutifully obliged as Stef turned towards the table. "I know it's not officially his birthday yet, but, I wanted to do something while we were all together." As she spoke the final word her eyes finally fell to Callie. There was a flicker of something that Callie couldn't or wouldn't allow herself to place before Stef caught herself and completed her statements "A-and this is just my way of saying, no matter what happens, how big you all get," she glanced around at all of the children and her voice caught a bit so that she added playfully "Especially you, Jesus," and everyone laughed.

"No matter how big you all get or how far away you go," a glance at Callie, "Or where life takes us," turning back to Brandon with tears now streaming down her cheeks "We started here." She said pointing to the floor beneath her. "Our family started _here_. And we should never, _ever_ forget that." Stef gripped Brandon in a tight hug and everyone cheered and joined in. Callie hesitated, but Jude yanked her along with him so that she was wrapped into the circle that surrounded Stef and Brandon.

The laughter and merriment died down a little as Brandon blew out the candles-19 large brown leaf shaped candles sticking awkwardly out of the back of the bird like tail feathers. Stef diplomatically made her way around the table to Callie saying gingerly, "Hi, Callie." as she hugged her into her arms. The hug was firm and Callie relished it, but just as quickly it ended. Stef stepped back and said as if needing to explain "I'm sorry if I seemed a little surprised to see you. It's just that I knew that Brandon might be bringing someone, but I guess I just assumed he'd bring a date." Callie felt the stab in her heart at Stef's words and for some reason she just had to glance at Mariana.

Mariana was eying Callie sharply and after a short smirk she looked away. Callie knew her well enough to know what her thought had probably been.

 _Maybe, he_ ** _did_** _bring a date, Mom._

The dinner was loud and full, as dinners usually were in the Adams Foster household. But Callie felt adrift. Somehow, she fit. As she always did. No one made her feel unwanted or unwelcome-except maybe for Mariana, but even she really did this only by not speaking to her-no one made her feel out of place.

Jude nudged her and teased her. Jesus addressed her repeatedly as "Sis" and seemed extremely interested in what she was doing for her gap year. He also told her all about his treatments and how he was on track to finish school on time next year (though through a more lenient school curriculum due to his TBI) with Mariana's help. Both of the Grandmas told Callie that she'd always be their granddaughter and practically fought over which of them she would still be able to address as Grandma. And Brandon was…Brandon. He wasn't as in tune with Callie as he had once been, but he was still watchful, protective. Ready and willing to catch her if she needed it. Callie felt this in every quiet glance, every reassuring look. And she appreciated this. Was thankful for him and for everyone; she really was. But she also felt something else here that wasn't here before.

Callie fit, as she always did. This was her home still.

But Callie also didn't fit. And this was less home than it had ever been since she first stepped foot inside.

...And it broke Callie's heart.


	5. Chapter 4

**Hi all!**

I just wanted to reach out with a brief note of Thanks to anyone who has favorited, followed and/or reviewed this story. I really and truly appreciate it. Any fellow writers (and probably others) know how much the reviews in particular help to motivate us to keep writing. So, if you have any thoughts about the story itself, the writing style, improvements or anything, I would really and truly appreciate if you shared them. (In other words, I am definitely campaigning for more reviews/thoughts :)! ).

It was really weird because when I first thought to write this story, I really wanted to focus on Callie and Brandon. But, I try my best to find the voice of the source material when I write any FanFiction-which includes intense binge-filled watch sessions for character research, Lol. And the main thing about the Fosters is that it has always been about the entire family and how they impact and influence one another's lives. So, although from Callie's point of view-and dealing with her Brandon feelings, because I am a total Brallie Shipper-this story has evolved, so that it is also about Callie's relationship with the Adams Foster family and the effects that the adoption reversal would have on each and every one of them.

I wanted to make a note before this chapter because it is probably my favorite of the ones I've written and I really hope you enjoy it. ( **Please review if you do!** Shameless campaigning again).

 **Peaces!**

 **Chapter 4:**

 **Always. Free.**

 ** _Later Thanksgiving Night_**

Callie stood in the doorway of the room and scanned the walls with her eyes. Her name was no longer on the door. She was almost positive that Mariana had ripped it off, but she tried not to think about that. Instead she stepped in gently and let the memories wash over her. Memories that pulled her in further with each step.

 _Mariana painting Jude's nails on her bed…_

 _Mariana telling her for the first time about her birth mother…_

 _Brandon talking to Callie about Liam…_

 _Mariana telling Callie that she thought she shouldn't lie about what Liam had done to her…_

 _Mariana and Callie, side by side in her bed, researching mastectomies after being told about Stef's procedure…_

 _Mariana and Callie arguing…_

 _Mariana and Callie arguing some more…_

But more than anything else Mariana and Callie staying up late into the nights, with no one else. Just talking.

Callie told Mariana all about her mother, her father, her dreams, her hopes. All of them.

All but one.

Mariana told Callie about her mother, her fears, her plans, and everything else. Everything that she'd ever wanted to be and do and have. And that she was so happy to finally have a sister.

 _So_ happy.

Callie hadn't even realized that she was crying until she heard the voice behind her.

"What are you doing in here?"

She was actually happy to hear it. Even the sharpness of tone was a welcome relief from the silence. Callie didn't turn around, however.

"Just…remembering." Callie said as she smoothly wiped the tears from her eyes.

"Remembering…" Mariana's voice had a tone of curiosity now and Callie knew it was in spite of herself. Callie turned to face her and said softly with a shrug and a glance around "Yea. Remembering us." Mariana smiled gently, but almost as if by mistake as she quickly dropped the smile and plopped onto her bed, picking up a magazine.

"Yea. Well, I guess we are just a " _memory_ " now, huh?" Mariana said harshly as she focused on the magazine, flipping a page and ignoring Callie as though she wasn't there at all.

Standing here, staring at her closest girl friend ever, who she loved, missed and wanted to claim as her sister again, Callie could feel herself breaking down once more. But this time, she let herself go. Sadness, anger and fear mixing into a massive pit of regret as Callie huffed out, "Mariana, I'm sorry!"

Mariana looked up at her and was noticeably stunned at the look on Callie's face. Callie crossed her arms and said anxiously as the tears dripped furiously down her face. "Is that what you want? For me to say I'm sorry? For me to tell you how sad I am that I'm not a part of the family anymore? How much I have to force myself out of hating Robert for doing this? For hating myself? Hating _Brandon_? Is that what you want? Because if it is then you can have it, okay? Anything! Anything you want!" Callie screeched out hoarsely and the tears were falling rapidly now as she was shaking her arms and waving around emphatically. " ** _Anything_** , just so that you know how much it hurts. How _sorry_ I am. That I'm _not_ happy. That I'm not. That I _never_ am. That I…I miss…everyone. I m-miss _you_." Callie finished in a pained whisper as she dropped to her knees and sobbed ruefully.

Although Callie was not looking at her, Mariana's movements were immediately felt. The bedroom door was being closed and then she was sitting beside Callie hugging her fiercely and the only thing louder than Callie's choking sobs were Mariana's. Mariana pulled Callie into her and wrapped her arms around her shoulders as Callie reached around Mariana's back gripping at her hair desperately. They stayed this way, rocking back and forth for what seemed hours. And in this moment, Callie knew that they would be okay. But, there was still so much to say. So much.

After a few moments, Callie's sobs were no more than heaved gasps for air and Mariana whispered, sniffing "This is why I hate you sometimes. Somehow even when I'm mad at you, you can make _me_ apologize to _you_."

Callie laughed quietly, saying softly "But, you didn't apologize."

Mariana squeezed Callie tighter and said with a bitter laugh, "What do you think _this_ is?" And Callie realized that she meant the hug was her apology.

Callie smiled through her tears and eased herself away from Mariana, turning towards her and saying seriously. "You don't have to apologize, Mariana. I get it. I know you were really angry. And I know why. I'm sorry that I stopped fighting. I'm really sorry."

Mariana shook her head "It wasn't really that. Not that you stopped fighting. It was that…" Mariana blew out her breath as the tears brimmed in her eyes and she sighed deeply "I just…I wanted you to be my sister. So badly. More than I've ever wanted anything. And then you were and you were the best friend I ever had. And then just like that…you weren't. And I was angry. At you. At Brandon. At Robert. At Moms. At that stupid judge. At the universe. I wanted to hate everyone, and I wanted you to hurt like I did. Like I still do."

Callie stared at the girl crying before her with more pained stabs in her heart. In this moment, Callie wished that she could take it from her. All of the pain that Mariana was feeling and all of the hurt that Callie had caused. But she knew that she couldn't. Callie silently tacked this onto her reasons for the guilt and sadness that was beginning to become a well-known friend.

"Mariana," Callie began and she tried to choose her words carefully, honestly. She wanted to undo as much as she could, even knowing that things could never be the same. "I wanted this too. I love you. All of you, everyone. And I know how messy things got. And how…painful. But, I just…" Callie paused again trying to find the words "I just couldn't…I couldn't do it anymore. Even being here and feeling happy and then getting myself into trouble. Even if I hadn't? The lying and the pretending and the…the guilt, the shame. All of it was just _too_ much."

Mariana looked at Callie curiously, her dark brown eyes genuinely, wondrous. "But what lies? What pretense and why should you feel guilty?"

Callie sighed deeply. She often forgot how much her family truly knew so little about her and Brandon's relationship.

"Brandon." Callie said simply.

Mariana frowned a little. "What about Brandon?"

Callie shook her head, closing her eyes as she spoke out "It was never…Mariana it wasn't just kissing or dating or sex...or anything. It was…everything. I…" Callie paused now, as saying that she'd "loved" Brandon felt wrong. "It was love, Mariana. Really."

Mariana's frown deepened and she was silent for a long moment. Waiting for her response, Callie suddenly remembered Mariana's reaction when she had first told her that she and Brandon slept together in the Idyllwild cabin.

" _You haven't said two words to me since I told you." Callie had said as she began brushing her teeth as Mariana toweled off from her shower._

" _I mean, I don't really know what to say…" Mariana said as she wrung her hair in the sink. "It kinda makes me sick to think that you and Brandon…in the cabin when I was asleep."_

 _Callie felt her stomach falling a little as she listened to Mariana saying that it made her sick. She understood why it might from Mariana's perspective, but it still hurt._

" _But, I have no room to talk." Mariana said quickly as she brushed out her hair. "I had sex on a beach with Wyatt at a school party." She added, mentioning how she'd lost her virginity to Callie's ex-boyfriend while still dating her own first love, Mat Tan._

" _At least you didn't cheat on anyone… except maybe the family in a way." Mariana added._

" _I didn't mean to hurt anyone." Callie said softly as she put away her toothbrush, "And it's totally over." She said, feeling the need to clarify things to Mariana._

" _What did Moms say?" Mariana asked._

" _Haven't yet." Callie said in a tired voice, but then she mentioned what she felt was maybe the one bright spot in the stressful situation; the release of a burden that had been weighing her down for months. "But at least we don't have to keep anymore secrets."_

 _Mariana's next words stung Callie to her heart, although she'd never told her. Mariana said matter-of-factly. "Some secrets_ should _be kept."_

Now, Callie waited for Mariana to speak as she sat still, frowning as though trying to solve some question in her mind. Callie wondered if she had said the wrong thing. Again.

"How long?" Mariana asked suddenly looking at Callie questioningly.

"How long…what?" Callie asked cautiously.

"How long…? Did you love Brandon? I mean, was it when you first came here, before you were adopted? After? How long?"

Callie paused for a moment and thought about it.

How long Callie had loved Brandon, almost felt like a trick question. She'd never stopped. Not really. So she answered as honestly and as simply as she could.

"Always."

Mariana's face softened at Callie's words and she slowly slid backward against the side of her bed, pulling her knees up and wrapping her arms around them protectively. Callie slid beside her, mimicking her position and waited for her to say something.

The quiet surrounded them both and Callie relished it, thinking about how much more it felt like home again. This quiet had been theirs before, as it was theirs now.

"Well, I guess…I…" Mariana started, her voice breaking into the quiet "I never…Never really thought about that…"

Callie glanced at her questioningly "Never thought about what?"

"What it would have been like for me if Moms had wanted to adopt Mat."

For a moment Callie just stared at Mariana and Mariana back at her with a serious expression.

Then the two girls burst into a simultaneous fit of laughter. Their first shared laugh in what felt like ages.

After a moment, Mariana paused with a genuine smile and Callie returned it. Mariana leaned into Callie's shoulder and Callie rested her head on Mariana's gently. They gripped hands as Mariana said softly, "I do know how much secrets hurt, Callie. So, as much as I hate to say it, and as mad as I still am, I _do_ understand."

Callie smiled lightly and said. "Thank you for that, for saying that…And I am still really sorry."

"I know."

"But…" Callie added in a stronger voice, "There is something else that I need to clear up."

"What?" Mariana asked with a sigh as she closed her eyes.

"It doesn't matter what they say. The court, the state, the country, the world, the universe. Anybody. You are _still_ my sister, Mariana. And that's never going to change. You _are_ my sister and I will always be yours…" Callie paused briefly with a hopeful gasp as she said along with the tear that slipped out involuntarily. "I mean, if you still want me to be…"

The silence seemed to drag on and Callie felt Mariana raising her head and she lifted hers as well. Mariana stared Callie in her eyes and drug out her answer with a tearful smile.

" _Alllll_ ways."

 ** _Hours Later_**

Jude walked beside Callie and she found herself wondering at the way that he towered over her as he had for over 3 years now.

At times like this, it was hard to remember that a little more than 4 years ago, he had been that shy 12 year-old with the sad eyes and the furtive glances. Jude had gone from being a small, withdrawn, emotionally damaged child to a tall, bright, outgoing young man. Callie knew that no matter what else ever happened, no matter how many other people she met, or how many different ways her life rose and fell, she would never be prouder of anyone than she was of Jude.

"So," Jude said quietly as they made their way to the car. "How are you doing?"

Callie stood before her little brother- _Well, younger brother_ , she thought staring up at him-and smiled softly. "You know how I am, Jude. We talk almost every single day."

"Not long, though. Not filling each other in on everything talks." Jude said and tilted his head towards her car, which they now stood in front of. "Like how I didn't even know that you painted your car." Callie smiled as she glanced at the teal colored Volkswagen Beetle. Robert had bought her a red car and as much as Callie appreciated it, the color wasn't her. It just wasn't.

"Yea. You knew I couldn't keep it red." Callie said with a laugh and leaned against the car beside Jude. "I know." He said softly and they shared a knowing look. It was amazing how you could share such history with someone that they would know what you meant, what your thought process had been with just a glance. That was Callie and Jude sometimes. They were on different wave lengths now. Had been for a while. But, still. He was hers. More than anyone else on earth ever had been or would be. They shared war stories, traumas, joys and triumphs. Nothing would ever change this, Callie knew.

"I heard you telling Jesus about your work at that new Girls' Center." Jude said staring up into the star-filled sky "I know that things didn't exactly go the way you wanted them to with the Drop-In Center or Fost and Found. So…I just wanted to say…I mean, I'm really proud of you for keeping it up."

Callie nodded though a little confused as she said "Keeping what up?"

Jude smiled at Callie and said with a short laugh. "Do you remember what you told me the night I told you, like, _really_ told you, that I was gay? When you said that maybe I'd always known it somewhere inside of me but I was trying to…to hide from it?" Callie remembered the conversation well. Of course she did. That was the day she'd realized that Jude wasn't a child anymore. He'd only been 13, but still he'd seemed more grown up in that moment, than he ever had before.

"I remember." Callie said, softly. "I was _so_ proud of you."

"Well, that's what I mean." Jude said quietly and his hand found Callie's in the darkness.

"What…?" Callie asked again, still a little confused. "You're proud of me for keeping what up?" she said again and Jude smiled again

"For keeping up with helping people. After everything that happened, a lot of people, most people, even me. We'd still hide from it. Hide from who we are. But, you? You're not. Even after everything you've been through, you're not afraid to be who you are in a way that can help others. You are still trying to help people."

Callie laughed a little, "Maybe so, but it doesn't always feel that way." She shook her hair loose and using her free hand yanked out the ponytail holder. "Sometimes it feels like the more I try to help, the more I mess things up."

"Yea, well," Jude said as he pushed away from the car and released Callie's hand. "Maybe that's because even though you are doing what you are supposed to, you're still not all of the way out of it yet."

"Out of what?"

"Out of hiding. Once you stop hiding who you are. Or _why_ you are or whatever. That's when you will finally become what you were meant to be. What we were all meant to be, really."

Callie pulled her hair up into a ponytail as a distraction and tried not to think about what Jude could mean. He was always so wise, so knowing. Even as a child, he saw more, knew more. It was like an instinct with him. But, she knew that inevitably she'd have to ask the question, as much as she'd already dreaded hearing the answer.

"Yea? And what is it that I'll become?" Callie finally asked, crossing her arms. "That we were all meant to be, when I stop hiding?"

Jude looked at her with a sadness that Callie couldn't quite understand and said gently,

"Free."


	6. Chapter 5

_**Chapter 5:**_

 **Different. Paint.**

 **(December)**

Callie stood on the porch and willed herself to knock. Since Thanksgiving when she'd reconnected with Mariana and spoken to Jude, she had begun to feel like maybe things weren't as hopeless as she'd been telling herself. Maybe they could still be her family.

 _Just Maybe._

But, Callie still had someone else to talk to. To find out how she was feeling about everything and so that's what she was doing here. She was going to sit down like the grown-up she was supposed to be and talk to her…Mom? Guardian…? The woman she still loved like a mother no matter her title.

Stef.

Callie lowered her hand as she remembered the key that she'd never returned. Surely they wouldn't have changed the lock…

… _would they?_

Calming herself and shaking off the paranoia, Callie inserted the key, turned it and stepped into the house silently.

Gently closing the door behind her Callie walked into the familiar space. Without the intense worry that a room full of people were waiting for her with eager and questioning eyes, Callie glanced around the wooden entryway with a smile. The warm tan walls and hard wood floors, the warm colors and inspirational messages and the various family photos full of sometimes silly, always beautiful faces…

 _Home_.

Callie took a breath and went to find Stef. She chose Friday because it was Stef's day off and a school day, which would occupy Lena, the twins and Jude equally so she knew that no one would be home to interrupt them. Callie wanted to be able to freely speak to her. Really hash everything out and she was really determined to do it this time.

Callie's heart pounded as she climbed the steps and made her way to the small room that her Mothers shared. Closing her eyes and taking a final deep breath, Callie reached out to knock.

Before Callie could connect with the door, a hand roughly grabbed her from behind. A short scream escaped Callie as she was whirled around and then stared up at

" _Jesus_? God, you scared me! What are you _doing_ here?"

Jesus smiled a little and hugged Callie lightly before pulling away and then saying offhandedly "Isn't that something _I_ should be asking _you_?"

Callie blushed slightly realizing that this was true. No matter how much more connected she was feeling, this wasn't her home anymore and she had no business asking Jesus what he was doing in his own house.

"Sorry…I mean you're right…" Callie said, tugging at her fingers anxiously and staring at the ground.

Jesus shook his head saying "No apologizing. I didn't mean to-to scare you." he added as he backed up a little and stuck his hands in his pockets. Callie surveyed the tall boy and noted his relaxed wear. A white t-shirt covered in what she could only guess at, but figured was paint and ripped blue jeans. He seemed dressed so casually and messily for a school day. _A school day_ , Callie realized and now she recalled why she'd asked what he was doing here.

"Now I know why I asked: It's Friday. Aren't you supposed to be in school?" Callie said crossing her arms with a smirk, pleased to have gained just a bit of control over the situation.

Jesus's face brightened now "No! Not today, because I am working on my Senior project. F-finally got it approved!" Jesus said and although he was happy, Callie noted that the slight stutter in his speech that sometimes occurred due to the brain injury he'd suffered a little more than a year ago was still present. It made Callie a little sad to think about, but before she could dwell on it too much, Jesus was yanking her arm and rushing her down the stairs "I want to show you! Please?! Come on. Come with me!"

Callie and Jesus made their way to the backyard and when Callie saw the ground she gasped and was immediately in awe of what lay before her.

Newspapers were scattered all over the backyard with paint of every rainbow color on every page. Some spelled out messily scrambled words like Pain, Love, Sadness, Anger and Joy. Others seemed to just be abstract paintings.

Jesus scrambled around the yard and assembled the paintings in a seemingly even more frenzied manner and then rushed back to Callie's side and said "See?" as he spread his arms out widely at the new order.

Callie looked again and saw that this time the paintings, although roughly shoved together, formed a colorful collage of what was obviously Jesus's face.

"Jesus…" Callie said with a gasp. "It's…amazing."

Callie walked over and kneeled down in front of the part of the collage that was Jesus's large brown eyes and brushed her fingers over them lightly. They were so strong and beautiful. Yet also dark and sad.

"I never knew you could paint." Callie said glancing back at Jesus with a smile.

"I didn't either. I can't really. But, I've been going to this art therapy group. And it kinda...it helps me calm down. So I was talking to her about it. Mariana. And we talked about how it can help people with TBIs and Mariana said that's what we should do for our project. So that's it. We're doing it about TBIs and how it can-what happens to the family and stuff. This is my part."

Callie looked at Jesus puzzled "Your part? What's the whole project?"

Jesus smiled and sat down in the grass beside Callie "A movie. It's not that long. Mariana calls it a "mini docu-drama". It's about what happened to me and why. I mean my-" Jesus pointed to his head and Callie nodded,

"About your TBI?"

"Yea. And these different organizations and groups who have ways to help and…stuff." Jesus frowned now as he tugged at the grass. "Mariana is making most of the hard parts," he said with a slight shrug and Callie could see his sadness about his lack of full function. Sometimes Callie wondered how Jesus could remain so resilient. She could only imagine how she would feel if she'd gone through even half of what he had.

Just as quickly, Jesus's mood brightened again and he said with a smile "But I got to help with the filming and interview kids with TBIs and talk about how we can help and maybe change things later on. For other kids too."

Callie smiled and nodded "That sounds wonderful, Jesus. I'm proud of you."

"Thanks." Jesus said and the quiet settled over them. The sun was shining brightly, but the day was a bit overcast with clouds too. It was a shaded sort of brightness.

"So, you didn't say." Jesus started and Callie glanced over at him. Jesus was now sprawled out with his legs spread wide and leaning back on his hands.

"I didn't say what?"

"Why you're here?" Jesus shrugged "I know you didn't come to see me." He looked down and tugged at the grass gently, "You never do."

Callie felt a pang of guilt and felt so badly in this moment. She couldn't dispute what Jesus was saying because it was true. Although Callie had bonded to every member of the Adams Foster household in some way, Jesus was definitely the one with whom she had the least of a relationship. It wasn't something that was intentional, but she and Jesus had never really had anything to talk about or connect on. So their relationship was advanced more through their connections with the other siblings than anything else.

"I'm sorry, Jesus." Callie said softly and scooted backwards so that she was now sitting beside him. "I haven't really been to see anyone much since…"

"You and Brandon had sex, yea I know." Jesus said and Callie could have fallen over from the bluntness of the statement. Jesus had limited impulse control ever since his TBI, but it was still no less unsettling to hear him make a statement in this way.

"Not…exactly." Callie said and her cheeks burned brightly "But, since it… _came_ out and the adoption was reversed, I mean…I haven't felt as…I don't know comfortable, I guess."

Jesus looked at her now "Then why did you come today? Jude isn't here."

Callie felt another pang of guilt but she tried to ignore it and said "I was hoping to talk to Mo-…Stef."

"Oh." Jesus said and shook his head "Mom's not here a lot now that she's always working on those sex crimes. She's really busy. All the time."

Callie nodded, "Even on her days off?" she said and felt her heart dropping a little thinking about Stef sinking into her line of work. Diamond. The pimp. Callie suddenly felt sick remembering what she'd put herself through. Put Stef through.

Tuning back into the present, Callie silently scolded herself for being so stupid. Stef was a detective after all. She didn't exactly have time to sit around all day waiting for Callie to come to her senses and decide she wanted to talk to her.

"Yea, even on her days off." Jesus said with a nod. "But this isn't her day off anymore." He added and gave Callie a strange look "And why do you call her Stef now?"

Callie shrugged and gulped as she stared down at her fingers feeling guilty suddenly. She had been away so long she didn't even know Stef's days off anymore. "I mean that's what I called her before…so, I mean…" She glanced up at Jesus and shrugged "You know…?"

Jesus leaned forward and rustled his hand through his hair. "Actually, I don't really…no one has ever asked me what I…what I think about it. About you. They didn't even let me go to the hearing remember?"

Callie didn't want to look at him because the guilt was starting to consume her again. She didn't like to remember that day and her mixed feelings about it, but Jesus seemed determined to talk about it. "Yea, I remember…but Jesus it wasn't…I mean it wasn't a good experience or something. It wasn't that they wanted to leave you out. They just didn't want it to affect you. I mean, they made the right call."

"I know." Jesus said quietly "It's just, I felt really bad that I wasn't able to be there for him, you know?"

Callie squinted in confusion "There for who?"

"Brandon."

Callie was incredulous now and she wasn't sure if she had the right to be, but she was a little hurt. "So let me get this straight: I was about to have _my_ adoption reversed and you wanted to be there for _Brandon_?"

Jesus looked at Callie with an odd expression and then seeming to realize something he laughed a short laugh before his solemn expression returned, "No. I wasn't talking about for your adoption reversal. I just meant period. As a brother."

Callie shook her head and glanced over at Jesus's project again "You were, Jesus. I mean just because you didn't com-"

"No, you don't get it!" Jesus shouted suddenly and hit the ground with his fist. Callie jumped slightly, but stayed steady on the ground. She knew that when it came to Jesus's sudden mood swings and angry outbursts it was always best not to react emotionally.

"Okay, so I don't get it." Callie said calmly "So tell me what you mean: make me get it."

Jesus closed his eyes and breathed out gently "I'm sorry…" he said and surprised Callie when he glanced at her with tears in his eyes "It's just that now, I mean there's a reason…a reason why I'm not…well that I can't do a lot." He said quietly and nodded toward the newspapers spread across the ground.

"Jesus, that's not true-"

"No, it is. But it was okay back then, you know? I was never good at a lot of stuff. I wasn't gifted or whatever like Brandon or smart like Mariana, but one thing I was really good at? Even if no one else knew, it was like having a secret superpower. I was _really_ good at being a brother." He said quietly and Callie saw the look of pain in his eyes and reached out to squeeze his hand.

"That's not a "was", Jesus. You _are_ a really good brother."

"But, how could I be? I mean, Brandon always gave me advice about girls and life and stuff and helped me but I was so caught up in my own shit, that I didn't even know what was going on with you guys." He said empathetically.

"But, Jesus, you have your own things. You have your own life and it's not your job to take care of Brandon or to know everything."

"Yea, but I mean, I just feel like I failed him, you know? Like he didn't think he could t-trust me to help him."

Callie wasn't sure what to say. How could she console Jesus about not having known about Callie and Brandon? She didn't even know that he wanted her to console him. Maybe he just wanted someone to finally listen to him. Or ask him how he felt. Callie didn't want to, but she still decided to give him what he seemed to be longing for.

"But how could you have helped him, Jesus? I don't think he…expected you to."

"I know, but he never gave me the chance to. No one did. No one ever does. No one really cares what I think about anything anymore."

They were silent for a few moments and then Callie said "Well, I want to know what you think."

Jesus looked at Callie with a cautious smile, "Really?"

Callie gulped and tried not to look as nervous as she felt with her nod "I do."

Jesus pulled away from Callie's hand and sat up a little straighter. He seemed to be thinking for a moment and then he said bluntly "I think that Moms should have never adopted you."

The tears welled up in Callie's eyes instantly and she was shocked at how hurtful Jesus could be. For a moment Callie just blinked at him and wondered why he would ever think that this statement was something that she would ever want to hear.

"And I think that you and Brandon should have never done that, but once you did you should have never lied about it. And instead you should've gone to live with Robert and just you know, moved on from it or whatever."

Callie closed her eyes tightly and shook her head. So, Jesus didn't want her adopted…or with Brandon. Hurt and confused, Callie breathed out softly… "Oh,"

"Yea," Jesus said and he seemed to have a gentle satisfaction in his voice. Callie was more hurt by Jesus's statement then she'd been in a long time and she was honestly speechless.

They sat in the silence for a few moments and then Jesus said "So…what do you think?"

Callie chose her words carefully and wiped the tears from her eyes as she glanced at Jesus "I think…I asked you what you thought and you told me what you think." Then she very ungracefully got to her feet and began to make her way towards the house.

 _Why did I come here_? Callie thought. If Jesus, gentle giant, kind-hearted Jesus could be this cruel what could she imagine that Stef would really have to say? That she wasn't angry at Callie and Brandon? That she wanted her to be a part of the family again even after Callie had betrayed her and gone to live with Robert? Not likely.

Before she could reach the back door, Callie felt Jesus grabbing her hand and pulling her back towards him "Callie, what's wrong?" he asked with what sounded like a genuine concern.

Callie turned to him and shook her head a little "Nothing." She barely squeaked out. "I just need to go."

"But…you didn't- I mean we didn't…" Jesus paused and looked a little confused "Did we finish talking?"

"I think you just told me all I can take hearing for now, Jesus." Callie said and pulled her arm away from Jesus and crossed her arms. "You never wanted me to be your sister and you wish I had gone to live with Robert before. I get it."

Jesus squinted at Callie, "I didn't say that I didn't want you to be my sister."

Callie was flabbergasted "Jesus…? You _just_ said that. That I shouldn't have been adopted and should have gone to live with Robert."

"Well, yea," Jesus said. "But, I just mean…I didn't _not_ want you to be my sister. I just didn't know he wanted you to be in a different way. But since he _did_ , that's what I want too."

Callie wasn't sure if she'd ever felt angry, sad, hurt and confused in such a short span of time, but that's how she felt in this moment, because Jesus was throwing her for several loops.

"Jesus…you completely lost me. What are you talking about?"

Jesus shrugged "I just mean Brandon didn't want you to be his sister. He wanted you to be _my_ sister-in-law. And that's okay too. 'Cuz you'd still be my sister, just in a different way."

Callie gasped in shock and just as quickly her cheeks were burning red again. "Jesus…no one ever said anything about getting married."

"Yea, but I mean that's what could've happened. That way you would still be family. Just in a different way." He said again and smiled as he eased his hands into his pockets once more.

Callie turned back towards the backyard and looked out at Jesus's project "So…when you said before that I shouldn't have been adopted…? You meant…?"

"So that you guys could be together. You could've moved past the adoption thing and stayed with Robert. And then things wouldn't have had to be the way they were. And everyone wouldn't have had to get hurt."

Callie was quiet for a moment and then said "Except for Moms…and Mariana and Jude."

"Well…do you think it hurt them all less this way?" Jesus said matter-of-factly.

Callie felt the stab of guilt again but admitted quietly, "Not at all."

"Right," Jesus said and shook his head a little, as he turned so that he was facing the painting again and standing side-by-side with Callie. "So what was the point…?"

Callie's eyes misted as she leaned over and Jesus pulled her into a side-hug, and then Callie said in a pained whisper,

"I'm kinda still working on that part."


	7. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6:**

 **Dreams. See.**

Callie stood a little ways back and waited for Rita to finish her speech. Rita Hendricks was the director over Girls United, a group home and program that Callie had participated in and that had recently opened its third official location. Together with Rita and Mary Maltise-Callie's employer-and founder of an all-girls vocational school and guidance center called "Dreams. Girls.". Callie was helping as the two were preparing to unveil their new website Dreams-Girls-United.

The site was not only the official site for the joint venture of the all-girls self-improvement center Rita and Mary were overseeing the construction of and Callie was volunteering at during her gap year. The site was also a social media site for girls to share their stories, find friends, seek help-including suicide, self-harm and abuse hotlines and 24/7 counseling-but also to share their success stories and help out other girls that were where they had been or where they felt they were headed.

The idea came about organically when Mary mentioned to Callie that she had heard that Callie had created the Fost and Found site, which had begun as a Senior Project and had flourished into a Foster kid's guilt-free zone where kids could voice any and every grievance about the system without fear or shame. That was before it had, fallen into the hands of Justina Marks, the vicious solicitor who had conned Callie and used her in an attempt to push forth a foster care bill that would have allowed privatized foster care to take over the entire system. Thankfully, Callie had found out in time and instead become a voice for the opposition of the bill that she had originally fought to get passed and the bill fell through.

Callie did her best to stay off of Fost and Found once she found out that it was basically being used to drag her name through the mud. Through Mary, she found out that Fost and Found had actually been shut down shortly after the mud-slinging fest had been perpetrated by Justina. And Callie couldn't pretend to not feel a deep sense of relief at the knowledge.

The sound of the applause brought Callie back to the present and she glanced around the room. It was an employee only event and something of an unofficial launch of the site, before the centers opening in a few weeks. There were no more than 50 people here but to Callie it felt like the entire world and she swelled with pride at the realization that she was to be a part of something wonderful happening.

Callie listened to Rita's words closing out the event,

"And with that, I want to say that it is official! Our site Dreams-Girls-United will be officially live within the month! And we couldn't be prouder. Mary, thank you so much! Daniella, Marcus, Sela, I appreciate your contributions to this project more than anything! You know that we couldn't have done it without you coders. Seeing as, even now, I barely know what the word "gif" even stands for!" the laughs bounced around the room and Rita zoned in on Callie as she looked up at her mentor with true pride. "And last but of course not least, Callie Quinn Jacob. Thank you _SO_ much for your unwavering support. Callie even took a gap year and has been tireless to the point of…I don't know, lunacy, in helping us get the word out about this site, our group homes and forthcoming center. You know how proud I am of you." Rita paused and Callie's tears welled up along with Rita's. Rita turned back to the crowd, "We are so proud of everyone in this room and those who aren't! We made it guys! We made it!" she shouted throwing her hands into the air triumphantly and Callie and everyone else in the room broke into thunderous applause.

 ** _Later On_**

After the party, Callie, Rita, Mary, Sela and Daniella stood around the room as Marcus Wallace scrolled through the site, clicking links, playing test videos, and testing the virtual tour of The Dreams. Girls. United Center. "Everything seems to be in working order." He said with a smile as he pushed his glasses up on his face. Callie smiled. Not everyone knew it, but Marcus had told her that the glasses were a fashion statement. Apparently, some girl he'd liked in grade school had told him how cute she thought he'd be in glasses. And 10 years later, he was still wearing them. Incidentally, that girl was now his fiancé.

Sela Dunn, the same fiancé Callie had just been thinking of, shook her head and leaned over Marcus's shoulder placing her hand over his as she moved the mouse and sent the pointer back to the Home Screen of the site. "There's still something missing." she said softly. If Marcus was the brain of the operation, Daniella Morris, a programmer with a flair for eccentric fashion, was in charge of the beauty-as in the design of the site-and Sela was most definitely the heart of things. A self-taught coder and writer who had majored in English literature, she knew how to words things on the site in a way that made being a part of a site dedicated to helping troubled youth sound as though it were an invitation to an exclusive club. Not for the broken, but for the becoming.

"What?" Marcus asked pensively. To say that he hung on Sela's every word was an understatement. He seemed to breathe her existence as his air. In a way, Callie truly envied their connection. In other ways, she understood. And sometimes, but only sometimes, she hated it achingly. It stood as a firm reminder of the kind of connection she wanted but felt she'd never have. Not really. Not truly. Not with…him.

"I don't know…" Sela said quietly, backing away from him. "Something,"

"Well, obviously…" Daniella hissed sharply. She wasn't exactly Sela's biggest fan, Callie had noted. But she couldn't quite figure out why. To be fair, they were extreme opposites, but Callie had a lot of friends who were opposite her or at least seemed to be. And she'd never understood people who disliked others because of their differences. She truly hoped that wasn't the case with Daniella.

"What I mean is," Sela said, giving Daniella a roll of her eyes, "There is something missing. It's too…" she paused and they all waited as she searched for the word, closing her eyes. Then, her eyes opened wide as a smile spread across her face. "That's it!" She said as she gently nudged Marcus so that he would pull his seat back. When he did, Sela sat gingerly in his lap and typed out some site name that Callie didn't recognize. When the site pulled up, music seeped out of the computer and dripped down the walls of the small office.

"What is that?" Daniella asked, "That looks like a foodie blog or something. What does that have to do with our site?"

"Nothing," Sela said "But the sound, do you hear it? Everyone close your eyes and tell me what it makes you think of?" she said and Callie watched as everyone closed their eyes and finally realized that she needed to close hers too.

As she listened to the gently, bubbly and bouncy melody, Callie found herself feeling warm and happy. It was odd, how music could do that to a person, but she knew so well how deeply music could touch you. This song was like a blanket. It made her want to curl up in her mother's lap and sip cider and eat cookies or brownies or…something.

At the same time that Callie realized what it made her feel, Rita said it out loud "It makes me wanna eat." She said and everyone opened their eyes.

"Exactly!" Sela said with a point to Rita and everyone nodded. "It sets the tone for you. Makes you _feel_." She glanced back at the computer and pressed the back button back to their website. "That's what we're missing." She said simply. "Music."

"So, we need to set the tone for girls to want to get help?" Daniella said with that annoyed tone to her voice. Callie was honestly getting tired of her negativity.

"We don't _need_ to." Sela said, as she delicately stood from Marcus's lap, before placing a quick peck on his cheek, "But I think it will help. I think it will add something to the site if we can make it feel like a…like a…" She searched for a word but Callie knew immediately what it was.

Having felt the need of it so many times in her life, Callie spoke it out effortlessly,

"A safe haven."

 ** _That Night_**

Callie lay on her bed and stared at the letter with trepidation. It was her school. She'd applied for it months ago. But, for some reason, she was still so nervous about it. The thought of not getting in. The thought of getting in.

" _So this is your actual school this time right?" Aaron had said with a laugh as Callie told him over lunch about applying to the San Diego Art School. Callie laughed, remembering the lie that she'd told Aaron when she first met him. That she was a college student at NYU studying photography._

" _Yes, it's my actual school this time." She said as she bit into her chicken salad. Aaron was her boyfriend at the time and they had been dating for a little over three months "Good. It'd be nice if my girl stayed close." He said reaching across the table and gripping her fingers. Callie smiled at him. Aaron was kind, handsome and an amazing person. She really did care about him. Deeply._

" _I thought so." Callie said playfully, but there was still something tugging at her mind as she did. She shoved down the subconscious sadness and tried her best to stay in the moment with him._

" _So you'll help me?" Callie said pulling away from his grasp and reaching into her purse for the folder._

 _"Sure," Aaron said with a short laugh. "How many college applications could you possibly have?"_

 _At that statement, Callie set the 40 page stack on the table. And Aaron's eyes widened. "A lot." She said smiling._

" _Why so many?" Aaron asked as he slid his hands up the stack flipping through them like cards._

" _Let's just say:" Callie said coyly "I like to have back-up plans."_

 _Aaron sipped his tea and smiled at Callie thoughtfully. "Callie Jacob? You are quite the woman."_

 _Callie smiled at Aaron and said back "Aaron Baker? You are quite the man." Just as Aaron was seemingly leaning in for a kiss, Callie yanked out her spare pen and said in a serious tone, "I brought you your own pen."_

 __ _Aaron laughed and leaned in kissing her quickly anyway and then said "I guess you're always thinking of me, huh?"_

 _Callie smirked "Someone has to."_

As she often did, Callie found herself wondering how Aaron was doing. She knew he'd moved on. He was with a girl that he went to school with now. Lily something. Callie was happy for him. They'd broken up nearly 6 months ago but their breakup hadn't been bitter. They'd parted as friends.

He was such a kind person and he'd helped her in so many ways. Just like the patience he'd shown with filling out her college applications.

Over 20 applications and Aaron had helped her fill out every single one.

Except…

This one.

Callie had kept it and filled it out on her own. Quietly. Carefully. Hopefully. For some reason she'd never thought that she'd ever get in.

But now here Callie was, staring at the thin envelope that usually meant exactly that. That you hadn't gotten in. And she felt too weary to even open it. Instead, she slid it into her bedside drawer and laid out on her bed again, her mind too tired to go anywhere except back to her conversation with Rita earlier as she used it to fill in the blanks of her mind.

"Callie here, just so happens to know an amazing music producer." Rita said to Mary with a nod to Callie.

Callie blinked at her, curiously "She does?" Callie said about herself.

"She does." Rita nodded. "Need I remind you of a certain foster brother? Hugely talented? Played at Disney Hall? Accepted to Juilliard?" 

Callie gulped back her surprise "Brandon?" she said softly.

Rita and Mary both looked at her and Rita said dryly "Anyone else fit the bill?"

Callie looked down and noted that she was wearing too many rings absently. "Well, yea, I mean…no. I mean. He's in New York. You know the whole Juilliard thing?"

"Ah," Rita said gently. "Sorry, I didn't think of it. Okay. It was just a thought. I'm sure Mary knows someone?"

Rita glanced in Mary's direction and Mary nodded "I know a few people and we can call someone up too. We'll get the music done. A lot of artists would be willing to compose for a charity."

Suddenly for some reason, Callie didn't want the thought of Brandon composing it dismissed "I mean…I can ask him." she said quickly, maybe a little too eagerly because both Mary and Rita looked at her sharply. "I mean, I can find out if he's not too busy."

Rita nodded but Mary was clearly taken aback by Callie's word choice. "Well, if he's not too _busy_." she said "But, in the meantime, just in case, I will reach out to the other artists. Either way we are bound to get something decent out of it."

 _Something decent._

Callie remembered the phrase and scoffed derisively. Brandon's pieces were way more than that. They were incredible. And Callie knew he'd be the perfect person for it.

It didn't hurt that she needed to tour the school anyway. Well, wanted to, at least. So, she'd make a weekend trip of it. See the school.

See the boy.

Get the music.

Callie's mind slowly drifted her into sleep as she found herself humming Brandon's Piano Piece from Idyllwild.


	8. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7:**

 **Different. Same.**

 _Everything_ was louder.

It was as though Callie was suddenly awash in color, sounds, smells, sights.

The buildings towered above her and large colorful billboards flashed 50 foot ads on every corner. People rushed around Callie absently brushing past her so that she knew she was here in this dizzying moment, but they didn't seem to notice.

More than anything, the cold was a bit of a shock to Callie's system. Living in California her whole life, she was used to the coldest days being no more than breezy days with colds that were tempered somewhat by the sun shining down. The chill here was biting to the extent that Callie was glad she'd remembered to pack the one really warm jacket she owned.

Callie stepped out of the cab with her small backpack slung over her shoulders. She didn't really have a plan she realized. She'd spoken with the admin office and was told that the campus tours were available all day. Every hour on the hour until 4. And, though she had yet to open the envelope, Callie still wanted to know it. The school. She needed to see for herself if she would belong there.

Callie had never been to New York before, and she was honestly amazed by how much it was just as she had imagined it, as it was always shown on television and movie screens. It was beautiful. And hideous. Enthralling. And frightening. Callie debated whether or not coming here without telling anyone was the best idea, but it was too late for that now of course.

Luckily, she had the only two addresses she needed for the moment. She glanced at her phone and noted that it was nearly 2. She would get to the motel first, wash up and then go for her tour.

Then him.

 ** _Hours Later_**

Callie pulled the large glass doors and was almost out of breath beneath their weight. The giant lobby seemed to extend forever and she was a little worried that she would get lost in it before she ever found him. People bustled around the room and everyone Callie could see looked as though they were dressed for an important occasion of some sort. Suits, gowns, evening clothes, ties, heels. Callie glanced down at her jeans and sneakers. Her baggy grey sweatshirt and her wavy brown hair pulled up into a ponytail. She felt so out of place.

Callie stumbled her way to the front of the hotel desk and waited for the concierge to put down the phone and acknowledge her. The man, tall, tanned and with a look of superiority, glanced at her and with a quick assessment of her clothing he said "Yes…?" in a tone that let Callie know he was really asking two questions at once. "How can I help _you_ …?" and "Honestly, what could _you_ be doing here?"

Callie gulped back her trepidation and spoke up "I'm looking for Brandon…Brandon Foster?"

The concierge raised an eyebrow at her saying "We cannot discuss hotel guests."

Callie raised her own eyebrows in surprise, "No, he's not a…I mean he's not a guest…" she paused "I mean…I don't think…"

The concierge didn't even attempt to hide his deeply annoyed sigh. "He's a piano player here. He plays classical piano?" Callie added.

"Ah." The haughty man said now and his face changed as though Callie's words explained everything about her presence. He motioned toward a large room across from the counter.

"He will be there." The concierge said and Callie glanced over in the direction he pointed.

"Thanks." She said and let her legs carry her towards the room as anxiety fell in waves around her body.

Callie heard him before she saw him. But…something was off. The music floated out, above and around her but it didn't feel…she couldn't explain it, but Brandon's playing always made her feel…comfortable. Like she was home. Instead, the notes trilled out melodically, beautifully even, but there was no heart. No soul.

Callie pushed her way through the crowded…Restaurant…? Ballroom…? Jazz Club?

 _Where am I?_ Callie wondered, making her way past the bodies that seemed drenched in cologne and privilege. She just needed to make her way to him.

Callie saw the piano before she saw him. And the smile began involuntarily. She would sit at the nearest open table and wait for him. Surprise him. As much as he hated surprises, Callie silently hoped that he would be happy to see her.

Callie stepped out past the crowd and saw the piano player. But…

…he wasn't Brandon.

Callie paused for a moment, feeling as though her logic was failing. She turned and looked about the room and then opened her phone again. "Stardust Haze Hotel." she read aloud and skimmed the address. She was certainly in the right place and this was the piano player for the evening session. But…it wasn't Brandon…

Something was off.

 _What's going on?_

Callie sat down at the nearest table to gather her thoughts. She absently pulled on her ponytail and thought. She could just call him, she realized.

 _What would I say?_ She thought, _"I'm here in New York because I was on a school tour for a school no one even knows I've applied to and I thought I'd surprise you and ask you for some music while I was at it?"_

"May I help you?"

Callie glanced up to see a thin young man with wisps of blond hair smiling down at her. He was a waiter and held a notepad and pen ready to take orders at all times. Callie smiled lightly. "No." she said as she pushed up from the table "I'm actually on my way out." She added.

As the waiter turned to walk away, Callie had a thought "Wait?!" she called and he turned back towards her, clearly surprised by the urgency in her tone. "Sorry," she said smiling shortly and leaning closer to him so that he would hear her over the loud buzz in the room. "Do you know someone named Brandon? Brandon Foster? He's supposed to be…or he used to, I guess, play piano here?"

The puzzled look on the man's face was followed by a slight smile, "Yea, I know him." he said and Callie sighed a little. Okay. So he hadn't lied. "But he doesn't play piano here. Never did." He said and motioned across the room. Callie looked in the direction the guy was pointing, but all she could see was a long bar. She looked at him again. "He's over there. At the bar." The boy said and just as quickly, he rushed away into the sea of potential waiting customers.

Callie had no time to formulate any real thoughts. So, by the time she burst through the crowd and was standing at the bar, the only thing she could say upon seeing him was the first thought that pushed out of her throat. " _Brandon?!_ "

Brandon turned around and shock registered in his expression as he stared at Callie in amazement. " _C-Callie?!_ What are _you_ doing _here_?!" he said, setting down the glass that was in his hand shakily.

"What am _I_ doing here?" Callie almost screamed with a righteous indignation, "What are _you_ doing _here_? You're supposed to be playing the piano. Why are you a bartender?"

Brandon looked to the man that stood nearby watching the exchange closely. "Hal, can I take a 5?" he said to the large burly man nodded shortly. Brandon made his way down the long bar and over to Callie. As he walked up to her, Brandon grabbed Callie's hand and pulled her away from the bar. Callie had the urge to snatch away from him angrily, but allowed herself to be carried through the crowd instead. The last thing they needed was to start a scene in here. Wherever here even was.

Safely away from the bar, Brandon turned towards Callie and the anger in his eyes was clear "Callie? What are you doing here?" Brandon hissed again.

Callie crossed her arms, "I thought I was coming to see my honest, piano playing friend. Surprise him. I had no idea I would find some _lying_ bartender instead!"

"Callie, look, I'm sorry I lied alright, but I don't have to explain myself to you! I'm clear across the country and I haven't spoken to you in weeks and before that, maybe months. You can't just show up, catch me doing something that you didn't expect, start yelling at me and expect me to greet you with open arms!"

Brandon's words hurt, regardless of how true they were. Callie stared down at her feet and could feel the unreasonable tears brimming. "I'm…I'm sorry, Brandon. I mean, I wasn't trying to "catch you" in anything. I was just…" she looked up at him. "I thought I was surprising you. I didn't mean to catch you off guard."

Brandon scoffed and stared off in the direction of the bar, "Well, you did, alright? And yes, I am a bartender here but, I wasn't trying to lie to you or anyone. I just didn't want to hear everyone's comments about what I was doing…or wasn't doing rather." He said, and his eyes grazed the ground.

"Anyway, I've gotta get back." Brandon said suddenly and gave Callie a short half-smile. She nodded shortly and stepped aside. They left an unanswered question in the air as Callie stood watching Brandon walk back to the bar, leaving her with nothing but confusion and longing.

 ** _More Hours Later_**

Callie wasn't even sure why she was sitting here, waiting. Brandon wasn't happy to see her and he didn't seem very in a very talkative mood. But still Callie stayed and waited.

Callie leaned back into the large lobby couch and felt the eyes on her. She knew how out of place she looked and felt so small surrounded by the large open space. She absently wondered how Brandon ever felt at home here. She almost felt like she was suffocating in bustle and chatter just waiting for him.

"Hey."

Callie raised her head and saw Brandon. The maroon vest looked so foreign on him but the jean jacket that he wore over it was more his style. Callie smiled slightly noting that he didn't seem upset or even angry. In fact, he almost seemed as though he was expecting her to still be here just as she was.

Callie stood up, her legs having fallen asleep she stumbled a bit and Brandon caught her easily. She wouldn't allow the moment to last and quickly backed away from him and glanced up into his drowning eyes.

"Hey." She replied.

"Hungry?" Brandon asked as he strode in step with her easily as they made their way to the doors. Callie hadn't really thought about food since the plane ride. But she was hungry now that she thought of it.

"I am." Callie glanced back at the large ballroom. "Is the food any good there?"

"I wouldn't know." Brandon laughed amiably, "But, if you're up for a walk, I know the best hot dog place in the city."

Callie smiled up at him, "Sure."

"So…" Brandon began a few silent moments into their walk. "Sorry, about that. Earlier, I mean you just-"

"No, I know. I shouldn't have surprised you that way. I'm the one who's sorry. I wasn't trying to-"

"I know." Brandon said gently and they continued in their silence. Callie looked around and wondered at the billboards, the lights, the loud street chatter. It was all so much.

Callie felt Brandon's eyes on her and turned toward him. "What?"

Brandon smiled and there was a joke of some sort in his eyes "Nothing. Just, it's nice to see you… seeing."

"How do you do this?" Callie asked motioning around. "It's so **_much_**."

"Well," Brandon said staring straight ahead shoving his hands into his pocket. "It does take some getting used to."

"I don't think I'd ever get used to this." Callie said and realized how much she was raising her voice just to be heard above the city's noise.

The hot dog vendor smiled brightly at Brandon and in a thick accent counted off his hot dog order. Brandon nodded and looked at Callie. She didn't want the works that he'd gotten and shook her head.

Before Callie could say anything, Brandon said "Just ketchup on hers. And mayo on the bread." Callie smiled at him trilling out her hot dog order by heart.

The two made their way to a nearby bench and sat down. They ate in silence, watching what looked to be a family of pigeons fighting for some crumbs that lined the street.

"So…" Brandon said after a few more moments of quiet "I wasn't a piano player. Ever. I've been working at as a bartender for a few months now. Staying in a small room in the hotel in lieu of pay. I keep the tips though. So that's good."

"But…why…?" Callie asked turning towards him. "And why lie about it?"

"You know Moms would be disappointed. They think I'm meant to be some amazing classical composer and go down in history as a modern day Mozart."

"But, Brandon, you _are_."

"Callie-"

"You are! I just don't understand what happened. Why aren't you playing? I thought the whole reason you moved here early was to prepare for your next Juilliard audition?"

Brandon shrugged and faltered a bit, but said "It is."

"Then why aren't you doing it?"

"Because,"

"Because why?"

"Because, I'm _scared_!" Brandon's voice was a harsh tone and Callie looked into his eyes and was shocked to see them brimming with tears.

"I messed up, Callie." Brandon said, quieter as he hung his head a little. "And I just…no matter how hard I try, I _keep_ messing up. Over and over. And I think maybe…maybe I can't play anymore. Maybe, I'm not meant to be…you know, good. Maybe I'm just _supposed_ to be a screw-up. And screw-ups don't get to go down in history as modern day Mozarts'."

Callie stared at him for a few moments and then shook her head saying incredulously, "Brandon, that's total bullshit."

Brandon stared at Callie and gasped derisively before saying angrily "Well, thanks for the pep talk!" and shoving off of the bench as he stomped away from her.

"Brandon, stop!" Callie called, rushing after him but his pace didn't slow. Callie caught up to him easily and leapt in front of him.

"Callie, just leave me alone all right?"

"No!" Callie said holding her hands out to stop him. "Listen to me. _Talk_ to me." Brandon paused and looked down at Callie and into her eyes.

For a moment, the noise stopped and it was as though Brandon and Callie were the only two people on the sidewalk, as Callie found herself drifting into his eyes. It was so strange because weren't they angry at each other?

Callie broke away from the stare and stared down at her hands before moving them away from Brandon's quickened heartbeat.

"I'm sorry, okay? It's just…you know how amazing you are. And you know how much I hate hearing you being down on yourself."

Brandon stared off to the left, his hands finding his pockets "I know." He said quietly. "It's just. I haven't told anyone…until now. And I didn't really wanna hear that when I finally did."

"I know. I'm sorry. I just…Seeing you there? Cleaning out glasses? It was more than a surprise. And then hearing you give that explanation? Like you aren't meant to use your gift? I was disappointed."

Brandon sighed sadly.

"Not because you're a bartender." Callie added quickly. "There's nothing wrong with that. It's just that, you're so much…more. I was disappointed to find out that you don't know that by now."

Brandon laughed softly now and Callie smiled. They were okay. Like always.

"So…" Brandon said, turning and walking in the other direction as Callie walked along beside him. "Enough about me."

"For now," Callie said, because she wasn't going to let Brandon get away with leaving this conversation here.

"Right. For now." Brandon said as they walked in pace again, back in the direction of the hotel.

"But, you've got some explaining to do yourself." Brandon said and glanced at her again in wonderment. "What are you doing _here_? I know you didn't travel thousands of miles just to catch me in a lie that you didn't even know I was telling."

Callie laughed at his statement and debated her best way to explain things. It would be a bit nonsensical to say that she came all this way to ask him about the music. So she bit out the first lie she could come up with.

"Robert is here…on business. He asked me if I wanted to tag along and I needed to ask you a favor anyway, so I figured I would ask in person."

"A favor…? What kind of favor?" Brandon said and Callie just looked at him, biting her lip and raising her eyebrows playfully.

Brandon gave his signature exasperated sigh and said in a voice of disbelief.

" _Callie_ …?"

" _Brandon_ …?"

"Please…it's almost 6:00 already and I just wanted a peaceful day tomorrow. I don't need any more trouble."

Callie gasped in mock disbelief saying innocently,

"When have I _ever_ caused you any trouble, Brandon…?"

Brandon looked at Callie and she looked back at him. That he left the question unanswered and responded with only a slight shake of his head and a smile of surrender gave Callie a feeling of familiar happiness.

Everything was different.

But they were the same.


	9. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8:**

 **Beautiful. Something.**

The room was small and quiet. It was a backroom in the hotel that had been used as a rehearsal space before the hotel's expansion, Brandon said. The hotel managers' well-known willingness to allow the many music students who had passed through here waiting tables and bartending to practice in this room for free was the reason he had chosen to rent here. Though, he hadn't actually played it since he'd been here.

It was a grey room with an older piano in one corner and a set of drums in the corner. It was so far towards the back of the hotel, that it was quiet enough and felt like a sound proofed room in another building. The quiet was calming to Callie and it felt like a foreign entity in this city of noise and much. Callie sat down on the small stool beside the piano and gently rested her guitar against her knees

"Well, do you know what they want?" Brandon said, turning towards her as his hands hovered over the keys.

"Yes…well…no. I mean. I know the feeling that we're going for, but I can't really explain it in any way other than…like to say the words."

Brandon smiled. "Okay. What are the words?"

"Safety. The feeling of being in a safe space a…haven? Maybe…?"

Brandon paused for a moment and rubbed the stubble against his chin for a moment. Callie felt herself gulping. When had he become so damn sexy?

"A sanctuary?" Brandon asked and Callie nodded and smiled. That was the word she'd been looking for. "Exactly."

Brandon's playing began slowly and cautiously. The melody was light and gentle. Callie began strumming along in tune with him. After a few moments she was thinking that the sound was a little too happy and as if on cue, Brandon switched the notes and played deeper. Now, the tone was more mellow and sad. Callie played along with him, but the tone felt more depressing than it did hopeful. Callie paused her playing and Brandon glanced at her and nodded as he stopped playing. Silently, he seemed to understand her inner critique.

Brandon began again and the notes were better now, heavy but not too heavy and light but not too light. But, still it wasn't right for the site. Callie didn't even bother to play along with him this time, waiting until he waded out of this piece and into something else.

They continued in this way for more than an hour, Callie strumming gently in time with Brandon's piano, giving one another nonverbal cues when they needed to change the notes, speed up or slow down. But, still…nothing came together.

At last, Brandon stopped playing abruptly and said with a shake of his head. "I don't know…I just feel like I'm missing something."

"I know what you mean."

Brandon turned to Callie and looked at her expectantly, "So? Tell me…"

Callie felt so watched and glanced down at the guitar in her hands "Tell you what…?"

"Tell me what it is that I'm missing. You said it once that I don't know what it's like to not have enough. And you were right. I don't. I don't know what it's like to want a safe space or a sanctuary. So _tell me_ what it's like. Make me feel it, so I can play it."

Callie paused easing for a moment into the memory. It was years ago and Stef had been shot. Angry and scared, Brandon had yelled at the twins for having caused 'his' mom to end up on a hospital bed fighting for her life.

Callie told him later that he didn't understand what it was like for the twins and admonished him gently in a way that made him realize that he was wrong. Not to be angry. But to make the twins feel at fault for wanting to get in contact with their drug addicted birth mother-who'd inadvertently led to Stef's being shot.

Brandon then apologized to the twins in a brotherly manner as Callie sat on the steps and listened, beaming with pride in a way that she couldn't fully understand in that moment.

Tuning back into the present, Callie felt Brandon's eyes on her and closed her own again. It had been so long since she'd needed one that she had to remember the emotions herself. What it had been like for her in the system. All those years before she'd finally found the Adams Fosters.

"It's…scary." Callie spoke out shaking her head, "It's like you never really know _when_ you can breathe. Someone else has to tell you when it's okay to eat…to sleep. Learning when you're allowed to laugh…to cry. It's…never knowing what will happen to you but knowing that no one else does either. It's like…you lose parts of yourself to strangers. And so you sort of become a stranger to yourself, even. And you lose trust in everything and everyone. Including yourself. So…even when you _finally_ feel safe…? Feel loved…? You don't trust it. It's not just searching for a physical safeness. It's waiting to feel safe…inside…"

Callie words trailed and she opened her eyes staring into space…that was who she had been and how she'd felt then. So small and lonely. And so afraid. Times two, because she felt all those same things for Jude too. It was a distant memory now, but Callie could never forget those feelings. And now she wanted to make sure she saved other girls from ever even having to feel those emotions. Ever.

Callie almost forgot Brandon was there until she glanced up at him again. His eyes were full and he looked away from her, breathing deeply and composing himself. He paused for a moment and the silence filled the room.

It was soft, cloying, and gentle but slowly the notes began to fill Callie's ears. She looked over at Brandon and saw the look on his face that he got when he was there…in his own musical world bringing life to the passion that flowed so effortlessly from his fingertips.

The notes bounced around the room and wrapped Callie in them. That one was a hug. This was a reassuring touch. A blanket draped around her shoulders. A nod. Freedom to smile. Freedom to breathe. Someone's arms wrapped around her protectively.

Callie watched Brandon in awe as he played the notes over and over until she'd memorized them along with him. And she knew that this was what she'd come here for.

This was _the_ song Callie knew because in this moment, the feeling of safety encompassed her. She was home. She was safe. She was loved.

This was what the girls who came to the site for center would need to feel.

This was "Sanctuary".

 ** _Later On That Afternoon_**

"It's perfect, Brandon." Callie said, taking the USB drive after he'd loaded it for her from the computer. "Thank you."

Brandon smiled lightly "Thank you." He said quietly. "I hadn't played in so long…I thought I'd forgotten how."

"You could never forget that. It's a part of who you are." Callie said.

Brandon's room was small compared to the rest of the hotel rooms Callie was sure, but its simplicity was charming she thought. She sat down on the bed that was right in front of the small desk he was sitting at.

"It was nice to play with you again." Callie said softly. It had been so long. The last time was when she'd thought she was going to prison for years. She'd wanted to say goodbye to him without saying it and had played with him as her way of saying this.

"I know. You too." Brandon said. "It's so…"

"Easy." Callie finished, nodding.

"Right." Brandon said with a wondrous shake of his head. "It's weird because playing with you is different than playing with anyone else. It's like…I know what notes you're going to play before you play them."

Callie nodded in response. "I know what you mean. I feel the same way."

"You know what's funny?" Brandon said with a slight smile.

"What's that?" Callie said softly as she traced the comforter with her fingertips.

"If we had met under…different circumstances…I mean, no matter what else we were, I think we would have been… _musical_ soulmates." He said in tone so serious that Callie looked at him. Brandon's expression was deadpanning and she smiled gently for a moment before they both broke into a familiar laughter.

"Maybe." Callie said quietly. In her mind, meeting Brandon in another life, "musical" soulmates would be the least of her thoughts. But, of course, she couldn't voice this.

"Hey…so how are you?" Brandon said suddenly and Callie glanced over and seeing him staring at his hands, she could tell that the topic was about to be serious.

"About…?"

"The reversal." Brandon said in a near whisper. Callie was more than surprised. It had been nearly a year and she hadn't imagined that he would ever speak to her about it.

"I'm…" Callie tried to find her feelings about it. They were so settled in her that she found trouble bringing names to their descriptions.

"I'm just…okay." Callie said quietly and Brandon looked up at her and smiled gently.

"How are you? …About the reversal?" Callie asked cautiously.

Brandon sighed deeply and twisted his fingers hard. "I, um,…I hadn't ever really…before the judge was saying all of that, I wasn't ever thinking about it. That there were lies or illegal things involved in it, or whatever. I'm so sorry for being a part of that." Brandon said and Callie could hardly take his statement, but she allowed him to finish "I think, I was just…" he paused before continuing in a heavy tone "I was just so focused on making sure that I didn't ruin things for you. That you were able to have what you wanted…to be a part of the family. So it was never occurring to me that anything was wrong with _how_ you became a part of it, you know?"

Callie nodded softly and remembered that day in the court room when Brandon's eyes were the only ones she wanted to find and the only ones she couldn't.

"I'm so sorry, Brandon."

"Sorry, for what?"

"That I made you…a part of it. A part of the lies. I never meant to-"

"Callie…"

"No," Callie said softly, the tears rising again "I mean it. I never wanted you to feel like you were a lie. Or that we were. I wish I could take it back."

"Callie," Brandon said placing his hand comfortingly on her knee as he often did. Callie stared at his hand and her tear fell on his fingers before he used his other hand to lift her face and look into her eyes.

"I am _so_ proud of you for being that brave. For being able to get on with your life and stand up in the truth, even though it wasn't what you wanted. I know how hard that was for you. I know it. I'm just…I'm saying that I'm sorry that I was a part of the reason that you aren't part of the family anymore…"

Callie swallowed back her tears and then looked up into his eyes with a sad smile. "We can't apologize for that though, Brandon."

Brandon looked at her with a curious smile and asked with a tilt of his head "Why not…?"

"Because…we said we'd never regret it…and I still don't."

Callie's fingers found Brandon's and she clasped his hand easily and glanced up into his eyes "I don't either." Brandon said and they stayed in this way for a few moments too long. Callie could feel the mood in the room shifting and she suddenly felt so dizzy.

Before anything else could come of the moment, Callie's phone buzzed and broke them from their gaze. The name **Dad - Robert** , flashed on the screen and Brandon released her hand awkwardly and glanced at his computer. "Oh. He's probably calling you for the flight. It's almost 12:00. You've got to be going." He said and stood up gingerly. Callie had almost completely forgotten about her "Robert's here" lie and took a few moments to process what Brandon had said. Oh, yes. The flight. The plane did actually leave at 2, but Robert wasn't waiting for her at the airport as she'd told Brandon when he asked earlier.

"Oh…yea." Callie said as she stood up slinging her small bag over her shoulder. Their moments together had always been like this. Small interrupted spaces that Callie would go back to when she began to feel those waves of longing again.

"Are you sure you don't want me to go with you?" Brandon asked as they walked down the stairs to the hotel lobby "I mean, I know Robert's there, but I mean…in this traffic, it's maybe an hour ride to that airport. Won't you be bored?"

Callie laughed. "So you'd ride with me during an hour-long uncomfortable cab ride, just so that I wouldn't be bored?"

Brandon looked at her as though the answer was obvious and said with a shrug. "Of course."

Callie caught her breath and turned away from Brandon, steeling herself for the memory of that look. "No. Thank you, but I'll be alright."

Always. Brandon was always there for her. Even when he didn't want to be, he was always there. Sometimes, Callie felt like such a horrible person compared to him. He seemed always willing to sacrifice something for her. Callie only hoped that one day she would be able to repay him.

They'd reached the bottom of the stairs and Callie turned to look at Brandon as she thought of the conversation they'd had the other day about why he hadn't been playing music anymore.

"Brandon?" Callie said seriously as she looked up into Brandon's eyes "This," she said pulling the USB drive from her pocket. "This is what you are _supposed_ to do. Music. Piano. Composing. Everything. I know you're scared and you messed up. And believe me, I get it. I do. But…you said that you were proud of me for being brave. For standing up. But you're the one who first made me feel safe enough to do that. So, you…you can't let fear keep you from becoming who you were meant to be, Brandon." As she said this, Callie slid her hand down Brandon's arm reassuringly and finished saying determinedly "It's _okay_ to be afraid, but it's _not_ okay to let fear stop you from doing something amazing…From becoming who you were meant to be."

Brandon smiled at Callie's words and nodded as he shook his head and glanced at the ground. "Okay."

"Okay? So you'll try for it…? Juilliard…?"

Brandon shook his head and laughed a bit as he said carefully "I wouldn't say that just yet, but I will start practicing. Getting ready to try again."

Callie smiled and nodded at him happily. "Good."

They hugged and Callie captured the memory of Brandon's arms around her, his hair swiping across her ear, his hands tightened around her as though she was something precious and rare.

When they backed away from the hug, Callie felt different. Something had happened this weekend. Something that she couldn't quite put a name to yet. But she knew that it was the beginning of something.

Something beautiful.

 ** _A Week Later_**

Callie had known that there would be no question as to whose song would be on the site, but she patiently waited as Rita and Mary played the instrumentals that they'd gotten from their artists for the room. Mary's was by her nephew. It was a nice effort, but the sound was too much. Intrusive and impatient.

Rita's artist was better. But, the sound was still overwhelming. Too soft and forlorn. As though the safe place wasn't yet found and was still needed. Still wanted.

When it was finally her turn, Callie queued up the song on the computer and said turning towards the room. "This piece is called "Sanctuary".

The room fell silent as Brandon's piece flowed up and out of the computer. Again Callie could feel his arms around her. His heartbeat pumping through the melodies. Safety. Home.

Callie glanced around the room and saw that most of the room was immersed. Eyes closed, silent. Involuntary smiles, involuntary tears.

As the song finished out for maybe the 16th time-as Callie had it on a loop-Rita opened her eyes and said definitively "That's it."

Callie smiled and Mary wiped an involuntary tear from her eye saying "Yes, that's the song."

"Great." Sela said. "I'll have it on a loop on the site by tonight."

"Good." Mary said as she checked a box on her clipboard. She glanced about the room. "I think that was the last thing we needed right?"

"It was."

"So we will be ready to launch by next week. Just in time. We all know that suicides go up during the holidays so this is the perfect timing. Alright everyone. Get to work and let's get this site ready to launch!"

Mary's voice carried throughout the room as the volunteers dispersed into their own separate groups to put the finishing touches on whatever part they played in the site.

Rita looped her arm through Callie's and said quietly. "Very beautiful, Callie. Let Brandon know that we appreciate it."

"I will." Callie said thoughtfully, absently wondering if she would see him over the Christmas break.

"He really is quite the musical genius, huh?" Rita said.

Callie smiled softly and said feeling a familiar swell of pride. "He really is."


	10. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9:**

 **Of Me. Parts.**

Anchor Beach was different now.

A private school with a paid tuition.

The hallways were different. The entire school had a stuffy, uppity feeling to it that Callie had no care for.

But Lena was still Lena.

And Callie was happy to be spending her lunch hour with Lena. Mama, as Callie and the Adams Foster kids referred to her. As much as she was trying to train herself out of it, she still slipped up every now and then.

When Callie returned from New York, she had a letter waiting on her from Lena, and it was an open invitation to eat lunch with her any time.

"I am actively trying to find a way around it, but I am not sure how I can." Lena said as she bit into the chicken salad that she'd made for her lunch today.

Callie smiled at her and ate her chicken wrap nodding "I mean it's not really in your control. So just don't be too hard on yourself about it." Lena nodded and smiled at her.

"I know. But, I am still having trouble with wrapping my head around excluding children from attending. Being Assistant Principal, I am in charge of this vetting process, before the list gets to Drew."

Callie shook her head. It was still hard to believe that this man had come in and stolen their school out from under them. Callie was glad that she'd been able to graduate while it was still in its original form, but it didn't change the fact that there was a sting in knowing what had become of it against Lena's will. "I wish there was something I could do to help."

Lena looked over at Callie and smiled. "Honey, that's not your job. It's mine."

They continued eating and having what Callie determined was supposed to be small talk. It felt so wrong to be having small talk with a woman she considered her mother. Whom she'd lived with for nearly two years.

But nonetheless here they were.

As though reading her thoughts, Lena looked up at Callie and smiled softly before starting cautiously "What I'd really like to know is how _you_ are in general," Lena said, putting down some of her papers and looking at Callie.

"How I am in general…?"Callie said curiously, swallowing her mouth full of food.

"Yes, how you've been. We don't see you a lot. And I know that Robert and your…" Lena paused as if the next word pained her to say and then bit out "Stepmom, Jill and Sophia all love you. But, we love you too. And, I hope we didn't…" Lena trailed off shaking her head "I still feel badly about the way we handled things right after."

"What do you mean?"

"After the adoption was reversed we-I just don't know if we did enough to pull you back in and let you know that you were welcome at the house anytime. That you're still a part of our family. I hope we didn't make you feel like you weren't."

"No, no I knew I was." Callie said, suddenly feeling very uncomfortable "I think I just…I needed some space to- to kind of…work things out. I just felt really…guilty and ashamed."

"Ashamed? Of what?" Lena said standing from her chair and walking around the desk to sit beside Callie.

Callie stared down at her hands and continued. "I don't know…That I just let the reversal go through…That I didn't fight it…"

Lena shook her head and looked Callie in the eyes "Callie, when it comes to that reversal we definitely all made mistakes. And you certainly had nothing to do with Stephanie blackmailing Robert. Or Rita withholding the information that you gave her. Or Carmen lying to the social worker." Lena said all of these things with a clear pain in her eyes, but also an understanding warmth that Callie knew was genuine.

"So, of everything, I guess the whole… _thing_ with Brandon. That may be something that you feel ashamed of, yes. But, we're all human and we've all done things that we're ashamed of." Lena looked at in Callie's eyes as the tears welled up in them and Lena pulled her close hugging her and saying "Callie? I will say what we have always said. A piece of paper doesn't make you more or less of our daughter. You _are_ our daughter and we will always love you."

After a few moments, Lena gave Callie a gentle squeeze and walked back over to her desk with an air of relief that she'd finally said to her daughter what she felt needed to be said.

Callie was silent as she thought about all that Lena had said. She wasn't mad at her. Hell, she'd said what Callie was sure that most people would have said in a situation like this. Callie missed the Adams Fosters. In just about every waking minute. And especially every minute she was with Robert and the other Quinns'. And yes, in her heart she was still their daughter.

But, the thing was that Callie wasn't ashamed about "being" with Brandon. She never had been. She'd known that she probably should feel that way once she was adopted, but when she'd thought that Brandon regretted it, even for a day, it about destroyed her heart. So Callie would never regret that night with him. How could she? Callie would never take it back and she would never want it to have been different. To want someone besides her first love to be her first time. Because in her heart, Callie knew that loving someone and being loved by them was not something to be ashamed of. And maybe the saddest fact of all was that she learned this most by the example her two moms set for her.

Callie breathed deeply and pushed away her thoughts for the moment, refocusing on Lena and turning her thoughts to someone else who had been weighing heavily on her mind

"So, Lena. How's Stef?" Callie asked and Lena's hand paused for a moment above the papers that she was grading. Callie took this as her trying to think of the right answer and she felt her stomach drop a little.

Regardless of the pause, Lena looked up at Callie brightly "Stef is Stef, you know?" Lena said with a short laugh. "She's doing okay. Working a lot." After a moment of the awkward nod they shared, Lena said "So are you saying that you two haven't…I mean, are you not speaking?"

Callie thought of the multiple awkward phone calls they'd had. The small talk conversations when she'd stopped home to see Jude _. Funny how they still feel like home_. She thought. Thanksgiving. It had been so painful waiting for Stef to see her, but when they'd hugged it didn't feel warm or like normal it felt cautious and almost obligatory. Callie shook her head a little "We have and we haven't, you know?"

Lena shook her head "No, I didn't really know, but I did suspect."

Callie tried to play off her true disappointment "I mean, I know she's busy and all and I am too so I don't really-"

"Being too busy is no excuse when it comes to family, Callie. You have to talk to her. And vice versa. I'll be sure and tell her you-"

"No, please!" Callie said and her own desperation caught her off guard. Why was she so afraid of speaking with Stef? She'd gone to the house to have a face to face with her, although she'd had one with Jesus instead. It felt like she was trying to delay some inevitable disappointment and she herself wasn't even sure why. "I mean…" Callie said, trying to clean up her sudden outburst "I just…I still need more time. I don't want her to feel like she has to…"

Lena scoffed, "Callie, wait a minute." She said as she walked back over to Callie's seat and faced her again. "You _know_ that Stef loves you, right?"

Callie's tears were resurfacing but she did manage a truthful nod, "I know."

"I mean the letters I write you, every ending I always say I love you, Callie and Mom said to tell you she loves you too." Callie was honestly shocked. Yes, she seen this, but hadn't thought that Stef was actually saying it. It seemed more like something Lena was tacking on to make her feel better.

"You know how you two are. You both are so…so strong and silent. You always process things in your own ways, in your own time. So I have been doing my best not to force it. But, guess what? Stef knows that too. She has been trying to make sure that she doesn't hurt you. That she doesn't come on too strong, or say the wrong thing and upset you but she…she misses you Callie. We all do. And if you think that staying away from us is going to change that, you really need to rethink things. Because it's not."

"You're not going to get rid of us, Callie," Lena finished and pulled Callie into her arms. "And that's a promise. Okay?"

Callie was crying happy tears now and nodded at Lena's words as she whispered into her hair

"Okay."

 ** _A Few Nights Later_**

Callie glanced at Sophia who had been raising her eyebrows at her all night…motioning to their parents. Callie could almost see the words in Sophia's very unsubtle gestures

" _Ask them!_ ** _Now_** _!"_

Callie had already silently considering it for a while but she was afraid to voice the thought. After Lena had suggested it at their lunch however, she could think of nothing else. Finally, when she could hold back no longer, she told Sophia, who of course was all for it and agreed to help convince them.

"So…" Callie said clearing her throat after Sophia had kicked her under the table for about the tenth time. "I have something I wanted to ask…"

Callie tried to remain calm as she stated all of the facts clearly. The Quinns' wanted a family only Christmas, unlike their Christmas parties of years before, or last year when they had a party the night before and a quiet dinner and morning together. This year, Jill had said that Christmas was going to be peaceful and calm with just them. As it should be. And Callie knew that the Fosters would be doing the same. Callie had really enjoyed Thanksgiving with the Adams Fosters and Thanksgiving with the Quinns'.

And this time she wanted to spend it with both of them. Both halves of her family together as one.

And who could say no to that?

"Absolutely not." Robert said coolly as Jill gently squeezed his hand.

"Robert? I think we should at least think-"

"I don't need to." Robert said, standing abruptly. "I am not spending Christmas with those…those people."

Now, Callie was angry. As hard as she tried to remain calm, she couldn't let Robert, or anyone else for that matter, speak like this about the Adams Fosters.

"Dad, _"those people"_ are my _family_ ," Callie said and Robert looked pained, as he often did when Callie spoke about the Adams Fosters in this way "And they took care of me when no one else would. They loved me then and they love me now. And I loved them then and _still_ love them now. So, you don't want us all together for Christmas? Fine. I'll just do what I did Thanksgiving. Spend part of it here and part of it there. But, just know that I will **_never_** not want to spend time with them. Because like it or not they are always going to be a part of my life."

With that, Callie shoved her plate away and marched up the stairs slamming her room door shut.

It was about 30 minutes before Callie heard the knock and soft open of the door. She knew who it would be before she even spoke. "Jill…please. I'll tell him later, okay?" Callie said hugging her pillow tighter. She knew that she needed to apologize for going off, but she didn't feel like it at the moment. She was tired of being strong and pretending to be happy for everyone else's sake. For now, she just wanted to be sad.

"Tell me what, later?"

Callie gasped at the sound of Robert's voice and turned to look at him.

"Oh, Dad. I thought you were-"

"Yea, I know." Robert said as he pulled up the soft beige chair near Callie's bed and sat down. "Jill was going to come up, but I told her I wanted to."

For a moment, Robert just looked at Callie and then he smiled giddily. "Do you know how happy I get when I just think about the fact that you are up here in this room?"

"Dad…"

"No, really. I mean I know you're going off to school soon and maybe even if you don't you'll want your own apartment, but just…just knowing that you're here with me in any way. It makes me so happy, Callie. It really does. More than anything else ever has."

"I know, Dad." Callie said feeling bad about her outburst earlier "And, I'm sorry about earlier, about how I acted-"

"No." Robert said holding up his hand "No…I get it, I do." He shook his head a little and then looked up at Callie again saying "They still feel like "home", don't they?"

Callie smiled slightly knowing his meaning. It was what she'd told him about the reason that she wanted to stay with the Adams Fosters even after finding out about him.

"Yea…they do. And…I don't think I've been fair enough to them…to you…after everything that's been happening. But, I don't really know how to. So, I thought that maybe if we could…I don't know all be together, we could see that it's not impossible. Not really."

Robert shook his head and Callie could see that he was holding something back, but when he looked over at her, he only smiled and simply said "Alright."

Callie looked at him cautiously, not wanting to get her hopes up. "Alright?"

"Yes, alright. I'll have Jill call Stef and Lena and we will make it official. We'll have our first full out "Callie's Family Christmas." "

Callie leapt from her bed and hugged her dad, loving him more in this moment then she'd ever thought possible.


	11. Chapter 10

**Author's Note:**

Really brief all! Just wanted to thank everyone again for any Reviews, Faves or Follows! I honestly and truly appreciate every single one (even just to tell me that you don't like Brallie, though they can be a bit disheartening). But, I just have to shout out one reviewer in particular, who gave me an extremely thorough review that REALLY just made my week! Thank you so MUCH **Prazeodymium** for your amazing, thoughtfully written and appreciative review. You absolutely understood everything that I was trying to express-and even stumbled upon some of the upcoming content that I had already written but hadn't yet posted. It means a lot to know that anyone can understand the emotions that you are trying to convey in anything that you write even "just" a Fanfiction. Lol.

Now that I am done with thanking everyone I just want to say that for anyone who is waiting out the chapters for Stef and Callie, I promise you that it is coming. I was going off on quite a few tangents, and had almost written a full novel, before I realized it! But I finally trimmed things down enough to where I have the full outline of my story for anything unwritten and believe me, I do have things in store for Stef and Callie and that is the reason for the massive buildup. I really appreciate everyone for sticking with me and again, thank you for any and all support that you have given or will give.

 **Peaces!**

 **Chapter 10:**

 **Hurts. Love.**

 **(Christmas Eve.)**

"Well this is awkward." Mariana said as she and Callie walked into the Quinn's kitchen together with a dish that Lena had prepared.

"I know," Callie said shaking her head. "I'm starting to think that maybe this wasn't such a good idea."

"What wasn't?" Grandma Dana said as she walked in with a dramatic flourish as was her usual entrance. The long green Grecian floor-length gown was way over-the-top for a Christmas dinner, but then when it came to her flair for drama, nothing ever was.

"Um, just…" Callie said trailing off and looking to Mariana for help.

"Having Hurricane Mom and Tropical Storm Robert under the same roof." Mariana said and Callie nudged her harshly.

"Um…OW?!" Mariana said hitting Callie back lightly and staring at her incredulously, "Why are you hitting me? Everyone knows it. Did you _see_ the way they stared at one another at the door? They couldn't even shake hands."

Mariana was right of course, but Callie preferred to imagine that the tension was all in her mind. Having Mariana voicing it loud and clear didn't help matters at all.

"That's enough, Mariana." Dana said walking the casserole dish over to the counter. "Now, you listen here my sweethearts." She said as she turned around and stared at both girls. "Yes, things are tense. Sometimes things are like that in families. But, this is Christmas, and we are all together and the adults in this family love all of you too much to let anything else get in the way of that. Alright?"

Callie and Mariana looked at one another and Mariana gave her a reassuring smile. Inwardly, Callie breathed a sigh of relief. Dana was right of course. They would all keep it together tonight of all nights.

"Alright." Callie said nodding at Dana.

 ** _Later On At the Christmas Dinner Table_**

"So, how are things going at the school?" Jill said to Lena from across the table. Lena smiled and swallowed whatever she was currently chewing before answering "They are going. Right now, we are actually working on something that will make the school more inclusive."

"Really?"

"Really. I am not supposed to talk about it too much, but I have almost all of the signatures needed to bring it to the board and…"

Callie smiled at Lena and Jill's exchange. The two of them were definitely an example of "cooler heads" prevailing when it came to their spouses. And it was nice to hear them finding something to chat about in common.

Although she wasn't paying too much attention, Mariana was right in the middle of telling Callie all about how happy she was to be once again leading the STEAM group, but this time at a national competition for a mathematics scholarship for all participants. Mariana's history with the team had been somewhat tarnished by her behavior at a Robotic completion, that was partially impacted by her use, at the time, of ADD pills that she'd thought would help her focus. Instead they just turned her into a semi-raging lunatic.

But apparently all was forgiven and going into senior year, the members were willing to admit that Mariana was still the best possible leader for their hoped championship.

On the other side of the table, Jesus and Jude were semi-arguing over who would be able to eat more potatoes, with Sophia tossing her hat in the ring to declare that she could out-eat both of them.

Both grandmothers were speaking with their significant others about "grandparent things" Callie supposed and Robert and Stef were noticeably silent. Though, Callie noted that Robert hadn't stopped guzzling wine since the Adam Fosters had appeared in his larger than life dining room.

Callie tried not to, but still her eyes searched for his seat and even knowing that he wouldn't be here, it still hurt.

She'd wanted everyone she loved here.

And everyone she loved wasn't.

" _Hello?" Callie said, as she answered the phone and stepped away from the crowd of girls in the main room of the Dreams. Girls. Center._

" _Hey, Callie. It's me." Brandon began and already there was a tone of regret in his voice._

 _Callie hated herself for the words she spoke, but she knew him too well to even pretend to say anything else._

" _What's wrong?" Callie said quietly as she exited the center's noisy main room, closing the door and hearing the loud click in the vacant hallway._

" _I…I can't make it home for Christmas. I'm sorry…"_

 _It was a week before Christmas and Callie had spoken to Lena and Stef on the phone. They said that everyone was okay with coming. It was hard to remember sometimes that Brandon didn't live with them anymore. So "everyone" no longer automatically included him too._

 _Callie was silent in that moment and leaned against the stone cold wall, hugging her free arm around herself._

" _Wh-…why not?" Callie said, her voice sounding sadder than she'd intended._

" _It's just that it's not the best time right now, Callie. And I spoke to Mama earlier and I know that this is really important to you. So I just wanted to be the one to tell you myself."_

 _Callie was silent again and in this moment for some reason all she could hear was Brandon's piece "Sanctuary" flooding around her. She wanted his arms around her._

 _Safeness._

 _Closeness._

 _For a few more moments, Callie just listened to Brandon breathe and tried to understand why she was suddenly sad and angry and hurt and worried._

 _Finally, Brandon's voice broke in again "Callie…? Are you okay?"_

 _Callie swallowed in everything and then breathed out and said in a clearer voice,_

" _Yes, I am. I'm okay. I just…" Callie said slowly allowing the thoughts of why Brandon might not really be coming to encapsulate her "It's not because of…Robert…or the Quinns', is it?" She finished closing her eyes._

 _His home, his family, his Christmas._ _What_ **else** _can I take from him?_

" _What...?" Brandon said, and paused trying to understand Callie's meaning. Then came his incredulous "What?! No, of course not, Callie! Why would you even say that?"_

 _Callie couldn't even get upset at his angry timbre as she was too happy about what he'd just said "I just wanted to make sure, I mean…"_

" _Callie," Brandon broke in softly, "I would never purposefully not do something that would make you happy because of someone else._ Any _one else." The silence hung and Callie missed him so much. But she kept it together. She closed her eyes and gulped slightly, imagining his eyes. The pensive look she knew he would have given her following that statement; he would lean in and force her to meet his eyes. Brandon Foster's signature "look in my eyes and see my sincerity" gesture._

" _You know that, right?" Brandon's voice broke in, again._

" _Yes. I know that."_

" _It's just…well, I didn't want to say anything, because I don't know how it's going to go. But, since a few weeks ago, when you came? I've been playing again…trying for things again. And I have this…well, it's not exactly a Christmas concert. But, I got the gig to play in this Christmas Classical Music Concert and it's going to be in Time Square and…that'll really look good if I…well, if I try for Juilliard, again."_

 _Callie's smile nearly broke her face. "Oh my God! Brandon?! That is amazing!" she laughed out pushing herself away from the wall._

 _Brandon laughed a little as well, his nervous laugh, Callie noted and then thought_ : _God, I hate myself for knowing his nervous laugh._

" _Well…yea. I just didn't want to get everyone's hopes up. So I didn't tell anyone about it. But, I really think, I want to try again. And I just…I need to practice and stay focused and so, that's why I can't make it home." Brandon paused and then said "That's the_ only _why." Callie nodded as though, he could see her and felt relief spilling over her._

" _Well, thank you. For telling me, I mean." Callie said softly as she glanced over at Sela who was waving her back into the room._

" _Of course. And I'll still see you guys again soon. It's just…not yet." Brandon said and Callie nodded again and breathed out in response._

 _"Okay. Soon, but not yet." Callie wondered if Brandon was thinking of them being together in this moment as she was but out loud she said only "Okay. Well, I'll be thinking of you." And realizing that maybe that statement revealed a bit too much, Callie added "...And knowing you're playing amazingly as always." As she slowly walked back towards the main room._

" _Thanks," Brandon said and then after a slight hesitation, added "And I'll be thinking of you too." without further explanation._

 _They mutually ended the call and Callie spent the rest of the day trying to concentrate on anything but the image of familiar green-grey eyes._

"Earth to Callie?" Mariana said, waving a fork of food in Callie's face. Callie widened her eyes a bit as she hadn't meant to zone out.

"Mars to Mariana." Callie said, responding in the playful way she often would when Mariana used to say that to her.

Mariana laughed and said "I said: What about you? Are you excited about the New Year? Any big plans?"

Callie shook her head, absently wondering what Mariana's big plans were. She'd pull Jude aside and ask him as soon as possible. "I don't think so. But, then I've never been a big New Year's girl."

"Me either!" Sophia practically shouted across the table and smiled over at Callie.

"Actually," Robert said, piping up for the first time that Callie had been aware of "We usually go away for the New Year. You know," He paused and glared at Stef. "As a _family?_ "

The room fell silent and Stef sipped her wine casually, saying nothing in response.

Jill broke in "Well, I wasn't sure if we would this year." She said smiling over at Stef and Lena as though answering a question that they hadn't even asked. "We haven't made any plans for it; so really, I think we'll just have a quiet night at home together."

Stef smiled tightly "Sounds nice." She said casually, but Callie could see the discomfort in her eyes.

"Does it, really?" Robert ground out and Callie whipped her head toward him,

"Dad…? Please don't do this…"

"Do what?" Dana said as she looked back and forth between Callie and Robert, "What _exactly_ is happening here?"

"It's Christmas Eve." Lena said gently and glanced at Robert hard and then placed what Callie guessed was a calming hand over one of Stef's. "Please, can we not do this, you all?" But Callie knew that something bad was about to happen. Robert hardly ever lost his temper so the fact that he wasn't keeping it together now, just let her know that this wasn't going to be good. And that he had just downed his 4th glass of wine couldn't be a good sign.

"No," Stef said, setting down her glass and gently pulling her hand from Lena's, as she clasped them together and leaned on them tilting her head and looking straight at Robert. "If you have something to say, please just say it: I prefer the direct route."

"Alright," Robert said slamming down his napkin and clunking his glass on the table. "I find it laughable that you are able to sit here calmly eating. Acting as though everything is fine, when you've never even given so much as an apology."

"An apology?!" Stef nearly screamed and added an indignant laugh that made Callie want to disappear.

"For _what_? For loving Callie and wanting to keep her? For standing by my daughter-"

" _My_ daughter!" Robert cut in.

" _Our_ daughter." Jill and Lena said together, trying to calm things down.

"Callie is all of our daughter." Lena said, "We've discussed and we all know that it doesn't matter what a piece of paper says. We know this and we've all agreed to it."

"Yes." Robert said angrily, "But only after a judge reversed the adoption and _forced_ you to agree. And why did he even have to do that?! Because you-" he pointed harshly at Stef "You thought it was a good idea to have my daughter living with a son who you felt so concerned about that you felt the need to get a restraining order against him! Great parenting, by the way."

"Now, you wait just a minute!" Stef's mom piped in "I don't care if you're the king of Timbuktu! You will _not_ talk to my daughter like that."

"Please stop." Callie said in a near-whisper as Mariana jumped in,

"Look: whatever you _deal_ is, don't talk about my brother. You _barely_ know him."

"Exactly!" Robert said with a cruel laugh and shook his head "That's what I found out. I _don't_ know him and I don't know any of you. Not really. You said you wanted what was best for my daughter but what you really wanted was to lie to me and pretend like everything was Ok, when you really knew it wasn't!"

"That's not what I wanted." Stef said, shaking her head "What I wanted was to keep my family together. I love all of my children. All _5_ of them. And I loved Callie well before I knew that **_you_** even existed."

"Please stop." Callie said again, louder this time, the tears now streaking down her face.

"Right, but once you knew it, then what? Then you blackmail me, try to get Callie emancipated, you don't tell me about your son, and you adopt my daughter. And then, even when you found out about their…" Robert paused, seemingly searching for a word "…about their "relationship" you still never told me the truth. And as a parent, you had to know how I would feel to think about Callie being made to live with some…boy who'd…done _that_ to her."

"Stop!" Callie yelled finally as she leapt from her chair and finally everyone turned and looked at her.

"I'm sorry," Callie said, shaking her head as she spoke through her tears "I'm sorry, okay? I shouldn't have asked you all to be together. I shouldn't have. It was selfish and it's not fair. Now everyone's Christmas is being ruined and it isn't right."

Lena matched Callie's emotion as she said quickly, "Callie, honey, no. This isn't your fault." And she moved forward to comfort Callie.

Callie backed away a little nearly tripping over her chair. "No!" she said as she held out her hands to prevent Lena from moving closer and Lena stopped. Callie looked over at Mariana and Sophia, then to Jude and Jesus "I'm so sorry, you guys."

Mariana was crying too, but shook her head at Callie and squeaked out "It's okay." and Jude reached over and gripped her hand.

"It's not your fault, Sis." Jesus said from across the table with a sad smile.

Callie looked at Robert and she'd honestly never been angrier at him. "I am sorry." She said in a harder tone as she stared her father down. "But Stef and Lena love me and Dana and Sharon. And all of them." She said motioning towards the Adams Fosters. "And I told you that they were my family. And I told you how important this was to me and _still_ you pull something like this?!"

Robert hung his head a little and said softly, "I'm sorry."

"Yea, I know." Callie said shaking her head again gently. "But that doesn't change the fact that you did this anyway. And I'm sorry and I get that you're angry; I mean really, I am more familiar with that emotion than you might imagine. But if you want to be angry at anyone, then you have to be angry at me. You don't get to be angry at Stef or Lena. Alright? And you don't get to be angry at Brandon, either. Because he didn't _do_ anything to me. The only thing that Brandon has ever done is love me. And I love him, so I don't want you saying things about him that would hurt him."

Callie paused and took a deep breath realizing that she was saying this in front of everyone. Every Adams Foster and every Quinn. But in the moment, she was too angry to be nervous or anxious about it. She would say her final piece and then bound up the staircase to her bedroom.

"And, I mean regardless of whatever issues you guys have or had with each other or me and the adoption or the reversal or whatever," Callie said glancing at each of the parents and then back to Robert "You have in common that you love your kids" she paused and motioned towards the other 4 kids who surrounded the table.

"So please: Would you _stop_ hurting them?"


	12. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11:**

 **Care. Take.**

Callie collapsed into her bed in tears. Her head was throbbing and her heart was pounding and still, still she just wished that she could undo something. So that everyone would be happy.

Well, _almost_ everyone.

"Callie." Lena's voice found Callie in the dark of the room and she tried to calm her sobs and answer.

"Yes…?" Callie said, softly wiping her eyes against the pillow.

"Honey, everyone wants you to come back. Can you please just come back down so we can finish dinner?"

Callie turned over and shook her head, as she dissolved into tears again. "This is _all_ my fault, Lena." She said crying as her face fell into her hands.

Lena wrapped her arms around Callie saying "No, no, no," over and over as she rocked Callie back and forth soothingly "Callie, I know it feels like that sometimes, but this isn't your fault. Everyone, every single person down there loves you. And wants you. And that's what that was all about. We all _wanted_ you." Lena said gently and then paused adding with a gentle shake of her head "…Maybe we wanted you a little too much."

Callie lifted her head from Lena and wiped her eyes gently "What do you mean…?"

Lena sighed deeply and ran her hands through her curls as she often did when she was being thoughtful. "I mean…what you said downstairs? It was very true. Stef and I adopting you or Robert getting custody was never supposed to be the endgame. You and Jude being safe and happy and whole was first. And then us all being together? That's more important than anything else. So, no one had the right to bring up anything else when we were all finally getting what we claim we wanted: to be a family."

Callie nodded gently, but no words found their way out. Finally she said softly "But maybe that's the problem."

"What?"

"That you guys aren't really. I mean you're my family and so are the Quinns', but you're not each other's family. And so it was selfish of me to ask you to all come together for me."

Lena shook her head. "No, Callie. See, this is something else that I wanted to talk to you about. It is not "selfish" for you to want everyone to be able to be civil to one another."

"You know that's not what I mean. I'm saying that I wanted it because I thought it would make me happy. But, I wasn't thinking about how Dad would feel. How Stef would…or the twins or Jude or you. I had no right to ask anyone else to do this."

Lena looked at Callie for a moment and then leaned forward and gripped her face gently between both hands. Looking into Callie's eyes she said "You really believe that don't you? That it's selfish for you to want to be happy?"

"At the expense of everybody else? Yes."

"No, Callie. No. Listen to me, heart. You are always trying so hard to take care of everyone else, make everyone else feel better, do what others want you to do, that you are not taking care of yourself. And Callie, you have that right. Just like Stef and me and our other kids and the girls at your center and everyone. Everyone. Callie, you are not responsible for worrying about how everyone else feels. You need to start worrying about how _you_ feel. And taking care of this-" Lena paused and placed her hand over Callie's heart "Do you hear me, Callie? I want you to promise me. From now on, I want you taking care of your heart and you. That's what I want you worrying about. Do you hear me?"

Callie sobbed softly, but nodded as Lena engulfed her into another hug.

They stayed this way for only a few more moments before Callie heard the familiar knock and her father's voice.

"Mind if I cut in?" Robert asked walking into the room. Callie broke away from Lena and glared at him. She really didn't feel like talking to him.

"If I say yes, will you leave?"

"Callie," Lena said with a disapproving shake of her head. "I'm going to give you two some time to talk." She looked up at Robert with a tight smile and then turned towards Callie informing her "We already have." Lena gave a short nod as she walked out of the room.

Callie turned her back to Robert. "Dad, I really do not want to talk to you right now."

"Callie,' I'm sorry."

"Yea, I know. You said that already. That doesn't change the fact that I told you how important this was to me before they ever came here."

"I know. Callie, honey I'm sorry. I don't even know what came over me. I'm usually so much better at holding my temper, but…"

"That's what I don't understand: why do you even have to hold your temper? Why do you hate them so much?"

Robert looked down forlornly. Although Callie had imagined that he'd been ridiculously drunk, Callie could now see that regardless of how many drinks he'd downed, he wasn't that drunk at all. Instead, he was sober enough to be able to feel shamed at his behavior, but Callie didn't feel even a little sorry for him. "I don't hate them, Callie."

"Then why are you so angry at them? Like I said downstairs, if you were going to be angry at anyone it should be me."

"I _am_ angry at you!" Robert yelled and Callie was taken aback by the intensity of his sudden shout. Robert calmed himself openly as he said in a gentler tone. "I _am_ angry at you, Callie. But, the thing is that you are my _daughter_. That's the thing about being a parent. You don't get to shut out your child."

Callie nodded and said with a slow realization "So…you're saying that you're taking out your anger at me on Stef and Lena?"

"Not exactly. Look, I was blindsided, Callie. I Ok'd the adoption because I didn't want to be like my father and force something on you that you didn't want. But, that doesn't the change the fact that things were kept from me. You _knew_ things were being kept from me. And you let it go ahead anyway."

Robert's eyes misted as he stared towards the window. "And it's not lost on me, that you wouldn't even legally be my daughter right now if it weren't for the fact that the judge had forced you to be."

"But that's just it: I'll always _be_ your daughter. Just like I'll always be Sophia's sister. A piece of paper doesn't change that."

"Well, if a piece of paper doesn't change that, why was it so important that you got a piece of paper saying that you were theirs?"

"Because, I told you…"

"'They felt like home.' Yea I know. But…you never even gave me a real chance, Callie and neither did they. So, yes, I was angry at you. And then to find out about this thing with you and Brandon?" he paused and seemed to think better of his word choice "I'm sorry…finding out about your _feelings_ for one another? It was just the last straw for me. No one thought I was even important enough to mention it to. Let alone the fact that you were…intimate with him."

Callie shook her head and sighed. She was honestly getting tired of talking about this, but Robert did make some fair points, so she still felt the need to defend Stef and Lena against his assumptions. "They didn't know about that before they adopted me."

"I know that! But after-"

" _After_?!" Callie said in shock and then paused for a moment to get her thoughts together. Then she began calmly, "Let me just ask you this Dad: If it were me and you…as much as you love me, as much as you care about me, or…or Sophia. If this exact same kind of situation happened, and you were Stef and Lena, would you have said anything? Would you have made sure that the adoption that you had tried so hard and fought so hard to make sure took place was reversed? Answer honestly, Dad. As a good man and as my father. Would you have reported it?"

Robert didn't even take a breath before answering sullenly, "No."

"Then how can you not understand why they didn't?"

"It's not that I don't understand Callie it's that it wasn't their choice! Ok? I get it. I understand that you want Stef and Lena to be your Moms. And I understand that they feel like home. But, I _am_ your father. It doesn't matter how it feels. That's who I am. For the rest of your life, whether I sign abandonment papers or you cut me off or I cut you off or die or anything else. I'm still going to always be your father, Callie. That's what you don't seem to get. That's what you never seem to get! So I had a right! I _have_ a right to be able to make decisions about what's best for you."

"No, Dad…not anymore you don't. I'm **not** a child. I may not be much of one, but I am an adult now. And I am telling you, as your adult daughter, that the things you are doing are not what's best for me. I don't understand; you got what you wanted. Why did you have to pick a fight with Stef? In front of everyone. You ruined everyone's Christmas. Mariana, Jude, Jesus, Grandma's…Sophia and Jill. They don't deserve this. And dad, neither do I." Callie was near tears again and she turned her back to Robert. "So if you came up here to explain away and make excuses for your behavior, please just leave."

"No, Callie that's not what I came to do." Robert said and cleared his throat before continuing in a genuine tone, "What I came to say is that, I come from a family or repression. We hold things in like it's an Olympic event and let me just tell you, it's a really bad way to live. Maybe if I had just sat down and talked with Stef and Lena and sat down and spoken to you, things wouldn't have happened the way that they did.

"We did just now, downstairs. I apologized to everyone and I spoke very briefly but honestly with Stef and Lena." Callie turned towards Robert, fighting the hope that was rising in her chest. "We're going out for dinner next weekend. We're all going to have a talk about how things will be moving forward. We're going to work things out. Because you were right. We have in common that we all love you." As he finished his statement Robert leaned over and hugged Callie "I am so sorry, Callie."

Callie stared off out the window as she wrapped her arms around Robert too.

"I'm sorry too, Dad. I know I wasn't fair to you before."

In response, Robert only hugged Callie tighter. They stayed in silence for a moment before Callie said "But, I did love them so much…I still do. I couldn't betray them like that, after everything they'd done for me." Pulling away from him, she said earnestly "In my entire life, other than Mom? Stef and Lena were the only adults who ever fought for me."

Robert hung his head a little with an acknowledging shake of his head. "I understand."

Realizing her error, Callie added, "And _you_. You fought for me too. But, sometimes in all the noise, it gets hard to remember that. But, I do remember it, Dad. And I'm sorry for everything that happened that made you feel like I didn't want you. Because it was never that I didn't want you. It was just that I never knew you were even there for me to want. So when you showed up it was…it was just _too_ much. But, I never meant to make you feel like I didn't want you."

"No, Callie, I understand." Robert said rubbing Callie's shoulders caringly, "I promise you, nothing like this is _ever_ going to happen again." As he said this, Robert stood and kissed Callie's head lightly before holding out his arm and nodding his head towards the door.

"So, since I have promised to be on my best behavior will you come back down now?"

Callie laughed a little and wiped the tears from her eyes.

"I will."


	13. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12:**

 **Anyway. Love.**

 **(January)**

Callie walked out of the ice cream shop and held the door for her not so little brother as he walked out with the large triple-scoop ice cream cone.

The two walked together in silence for a while on the uncrowded sidewalk, as the sun shone down on them brightly, in strong contrast to the slight chill in the air. Callie pulled the brown leather jacket around her tighter and glanced over at Jude. He wore only a jean jacket that matched his jeans but he clearly wasn't as bothered by the chill as she was. Callie had picked Jude up from school in an effort to spend some time with him outside of the Adams Foster household.

Since Christmas Eve, things had been less tense when it came to talking about the Adams Fosters with Robert and the other Quinns', but Callie still felt a bit uneasy around…well, everyone since her outburst at the Christmas Dinner. Callie and Jude hadn't spoken much since, although he seemed rather un-bothered.

It made Callie feel good to be able to take a walk with her brother without having to worry about…anything really. She was in a good mood generally, although she did still have a few things to talk to Jude about.

"So," Jude said suddenly and Callie glanced over at him, shocked to see that he was already almost halfway done with his ice cream cone. "What did you want you to talk about?"

Callie shook her head with a laugh, "First, I want to talk about how you were able to finish that cone so quickly? And also why in the world you insisted on getting ice cream when it's got to be like 60 degrees out here."

Jude laughed in response, "Callie? First of all, 60 degrees isn't that cold. And secondly, I already told you: it's never too cold for ice cream."

Callie rolled her eyes at Jude's usual nonsense arguments when it came to ice cream and sipped on her peppermint flavored hot chocolate before saying, "You're ridiculous."

"I know." Jude said with a smile, "But, still. What's up?"

Callie shrugged innocently and shook her head "Can't a girl just take her brother out for a walk without something being "up"?

Jude tilted his head at her, "I'm sure "a girl" can. But I know _you_ too well for that to be what's happening here."

Callie didn't respond, instead sipping her drink again as she glanced innocently around the increasingly brightening afternoon. Jude gave her a suspicious look, but went back to eating his ice cream for the time being.

"Well," Callie said finally as they neared the small park where they were headed "School is starting back soon. How are you feeling about that?"

Jude shrugged "I don't know. I feel kind of bad about still going there now that it's private and whatever else. But, Mama says that I shouldn't feel bad because it's not my fault and all. Besides all my friends still go there so…"

"She's right, Jude. That has nothing to do with you."

"I know, but still. I never wanted to go to a private school. Mom said the bright side is that I will probably have more colleges to choose from than I did before. So that's good, I guess."

"Right," Callie said nodding, her mind drifting to her own college choices. Anchor Beach wasn't a private school yet when she graduated and she wondered if that would have had any impact on things.

"Speaking of colleges," Jude said, as he tossed his now demolished cone into a trash can as they entered the park "What about you? I know you're still in your gap year and you needed a break after the whole…adoption thing," the sadness in his voice was unmistakable, but Callie knew he meant no harm. "But, it'll be over before you know it. Have you started applying or at least looking into them?"

Callie sipped her drink again and her eyes found ducks waddling on the sidewalk as she avoided Jude's. "I don't know yet." She said pensively.

"Well, do you know where you want to go when you _do_ go?" Jude asked as he pointed to the nearby gazebo that overlooked the large lake that the park surrounded.

Callie nodded as they began walking in that direction. "I mean…I have some ideas…" Callie didn't want to lie to Jude, but she also wasn't sure how happy he'd be to think about her wanting to go to a school clear across the country.

"Okay. What are your ideas?"

"San Diego Art, University of Cali, LA City College, San Diego Community…I applied to a lot." Callie trilled out, ending with a nervous laugh.

Jude looked noticeably puzzled "Hmmm. That's a little…odd."

"What? Why is that odd?" Callie said as they reached the large gazebo which was thankfully empty.

"I mean, it's just that," as he spoke, Jude sat on a small bench beneath the large outdoor roof and Callie sat down beside him. "Ever since we were little, you always talked about going somewhere else. Away from Cali. You always talked about wanting to "escape"."

Callie nodded, but said in response "But, I mean I don't really _need_ to escape anymore, you know?"

"I know," Jude agreed "But, I never ever heard you talk about wanting to go to those schools. I mean I know when you got in trouble you were worried that you wouldn't even be able _to_ go. But, whenever you were just talking about college, you always talked about going somewhere else. Like maybe somewhere far away."

Callie gulped and turned to look towards the lake. Why was Jude always so able to read her heart? It made her kind of sick honestly. Wasn't he supposed to be the little sibling here?

"I mean, yea," Callie said softly "I did want to go somewhere else. But, I mean, that was when we were still in the system. And I wanted _us_ to go somewhere. Together. I never wanted to leave you, Jude."

Jude reached down and gripped his sister's hand earnestly and then looked over into her eyes, "Callie? You don't have to protect me anymore. I'm okay now and I don't ever want you to hold your life back because of me."

Callie couldn't help but think of Brandon in this moment, but she shook him from her thoughts and smiled back at Jude, squeezing his hand tighter. "I _know_ you're okay now, Jude. You have…Stef and Lena now. And I know how much they love you. But that doesn't change the fact that I still love you and I still want to be with you for the important things. Like seeing you graduate; high school _and_ college; seeing you getting married? Your kids…?"

Jude laughed with a thoughtful shake of his head, "Callie, I'm kind of 16 and I kind of think you're getting ahead of yourself, don't you? Besides, you can still come back for all of those things."

Callie glanced down at her brother's hand and shrugged gently, "I guess, but it's not the same thing as just being there."

"Well, that's fine. But, I just mean please don't not consider it because of me. I don't need you to look out for me anymore, because I can look out for myself. And if not, I have Mama and Mom to keep me straight and Mariana and Jesus and…" Jude stopped short and Callie could see the annoyance in his eyes as he said " _And_ Brandon."

"Now see?" Callie said as she slapped Jude's hand lightly "That _is_ something that I wanted to talk to you about."

"What?" Jude asked innocently, rubbing his hand as if Callie had really hurt him.

"Brandon."

"What about "Brandon"?" Jude said with air quotes and Callie laughed in spite of herself.

"First of all, Brandon really _is_ his name, Jude, so just stop. Secondly, you have to stop being so…I don't know, _strange_ with him."

Jude gave a dramatic gasp holding his hand against his neck "I am not "strange" with him."

"You are." Callie said with a sad smile, "Ever since the reversal you are _really_ different with him…It's like you blame him."

Jude was silent for a moment before saying quietly "I guess, I kind of do."

Callie didn't really know what to say, because she hadn't expected Jude to admit this. "But, why?" as she asked this, Callie recalled Robert's words about how he was angry with her, but redirecting it to Stef and Lena, "I'm to blame too, Jude. It's not fair for you to treat him that way and not treat me any differently."

Jude smiled slightly "So you're saying you want me to treat you differently too?"

Callie laughed and pushed Jude with her shoulder "Noooooo. I'm saying I want you to stop treating him differently."

Jude squinted "I'm not _trying_ to treat him differently, really. He just-he really annoys me sometimes. He's…I don't know. He's just so… _normal_."

Callie widened her eyes saying with mock shock "He acts…normal? The _nerve_ of him!"

Jude sighed a bit and searched for words "I don't mean normal, normal. I just mean. He acts like nothing's changed. He still treats me like I'm his brother."

Callie was completely confused now "You _are_ still his brother."

Jude shook his head, "But that's just it, Callie. I don't want to be. Not anymore."

Callie was so saddened by his statement, she almost immediately broke down, "But, why not?"

Jude looked sad as well as he answered quietly "I don't want him to be my brother, if it means that you're not my sister."

Callie shook her head and squeezed her younger brother's hand. In this moment, Jude wasn't the wise younger brother who towered over her. He was the scared little kid who Callie had been taking care of for most of her life.

"Jude, listen to me," Callie said as she looked into his eyes, "You know that you're my brother no matter what. I didn't think I had to tell you that."

Jude smiled as he leaned over and hugged Callie "I do know that, Callie. I know. It's just its hard sometimes. It's like we spent so much of our lives wanting a family. And we finally got one and _then_ …? Now…? It's just not the same anymore."

Callie hugged him back and nodded remembering her talk with Jesus, "But, not being the same doesn't have to mean that it's bad."

"That's true." Jude said, but Callie could hear the tears in his voice. Callie hugged him tighter. And just like that, she understood why Jude was being different with Brandon.

"I love you, Jude." Callie said softly, "But, I don't want you to feel bad about loving them, being happy with them just because I'm not-well, legally at least-a part of them anymore." Jude tensed up and Callie knew that she'd stumbled upon his reasoning, "You got the family that you deserve, Jude. Just because I messed things up…or Brandon messed things up…or whoever you think is to blame, I don't want you to stop letting yourself love them. _All_ of them."

Jude seemed to relax into the hug and squeezed Callie tighter as he breathed a sigh of relief. They stayed in this quiet embrace for a few more moments and then Jude whispered "I guess I can be easier on him."

Callie laughed gently and then pulled away from Jude and smiled, "Good."

"But," Jude said as he picked up Callie's hot chocolate, taking a long sip, before finishing "He _still_ annoys me."

Callie laughed. "That's OK. I know I've annoyed you a lot too."

"Let's not add the past tense…and "A lot" is a bit of an underestimation." Jude said and leapt from the bench before Callie could swipe him. "But, I love you anyway."

Callie stood up and reached out for his hand saying with a short nod "Then, I think we've finally discovered the true meaning of family."

"Really?" Jude said swinging her arm back and forth just as he used to when he was child. "What's that?"

Callie paused and swiped out ahead of her as if writing out the words "Family: We Annoy You, But You Love Us Anyway!"


	14. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13:**

 **Denial. Running.**

"Congratulations!"

"We regret to inform you…"

"Congratulations!"

"We regret to inform you…"

"We regret to inform you…"

"Congratulations!"

The two stacks of letters sat on either side of Callie. By now, she'd received acceptance or rejection from every school she'd applied to. Welcome letters were always thick, as they included that large admissions packet, catalog and various things to do before and for orientation.

On the other hand the rejection letters were mostly confined to a single piece of paper. As if the people writing the letters didn't like the idea of using more than that single page to deliver their bad news. Callie was mostly happy with the results. She'd gotten into San Diego Community and one of her top choices which was a San Diego Art School. Another school near Calabasas that had a well-known photography program, she'd gotten into as well. The majority of the rejections were from her safety schools. Which, when she thought about it Callie found kind of ironic.

Altogether there were 8 acceptances and 12 rejections.

The rejections were easy to take for now because Callie didn't really have her heart set on any of these schools. Except…

Callie glanced at her side table where the unopened letter remained. She walked towards the dresser and toyed with the idea of opening it. _What's the worse it could say?_ She thought, though her hands shook a bit as she imagined opening it and reading "We regret to inform you…"

Before Callie could even muster up the courage to open the drawer, her phone rang. Callie sprang for it with a feeling of relief.

"Hello?" Callie answered and smiled as her friend Daphne spoke about a mile a minute about some babysitting emergency. Callie smiled and didn't even let Daphne finish speaking. "I'll be right over!"

 ** _30 Minutes Later (Daphne's Apartment)_**

"I'm sorry; I was in the middle of something!" Daphne called out as Callie walked through the unlocked door that Daphne hadn't been able to open for her.

"It's no problem!" Callie called back as Daphne's four year old daughter Tasha ran and jumped into Callie's arms.

"Cal-Cal!" she called, yelling out the pet name she had for Callie. Callie scooped the small girl up into her arms and kissed her god-daughter on the cheek. The little girl held up a small purple pony and said "Look! Mama got for me!"

"That's so pretty, Tasha." Callie said, pretending that the pony was the most interesting thing she'd ever seen.

"So sorry! She cancelled at the last minute!" Daphne called, out of breath as she raced around in a back room somewhere.

"You don't have to explain!" Callie called back as she walked with Tasha hand in hand into the living room. "I'm happy to do it, you know that!" Callie called, as she sat on the ground to help Tasha with combing out one of the pony's full heads of rainbow colored hair.

"Yea, but still…You finally got things back together and I am not trying to be pulling you back down!" Daphne yelled out in between breathes and Callie could tell that she was hopping across her floor putting on a shoe.

"Asking me to baby sit is not 'pulling me back down'." Callie said dismissively as she carefully combed a yellow pony's hair. As she did this, Callie glanced around the apartment and couldn't help but shudder at the memory of when she'd first come here over a year ago.

 _Callie could hardly hear herself, but she knew that she was banging on the door hard because her fist was throbbing with every pound. She couldn't breathe. She couldn't feel. All she wanted was for her friend to open the door and let her in so that she might have some small sense of relief._

 _It had been over a month since Daphne had first given Callie the address. They had met up at a Girls United event and Daphne excitedly told her all about how she'd finally been able to afford her first official place on her own. It was oddly only about a week before Callie would endanger her life once more and follow Diamond to the pimp. Callie had promised to visit, but of course she'd been a little too shaken up and consumed by the following court cases to have ever done so._

 _Daphne banged opened the door along with a harsh-sounding "Who is it?!" and Callie barely registered her friend's stern look or the bat in her hands. It was 2:00 o'clock in the morning after all._

 _At the sight of Daphne, Callie could hold herself together no longer and about collapsed into Daphne's arms._

" _Callie?! What's wrong, girl? What happened?!" Daphne asked, as she pulled Callie into her house. She had seen Callie cry before, but never with the intensity with which she was sobbing right now._

 _It took a few minutes for Callie to finally compose herself enough so that she could pull away from her friend and say "They know."_

 _Daphne was confused and told Callie to hold on as she walked her over to the couch and then rushed into the kitchen to get her friend some water. Being a mother for a few years, Daphne's maternal instinct took over in this moment as she urged Callie to calm down and rubbed her friend's back. Callie shakily accepted and then drank down the water._

" _Callie, just calm down, alright? Calm down and then tell me what you're talking about. 'They_ know _' about what?"_

 _Callie shrugged and her forehead creased as she sucked in the tears and then said in a shaky voice "About me and Brandon. They're going to reverse the adoption."_

 _Daphne paused for a moment and then shook her head "Callie? You told me a few months ago that your Mom's found out about you and Brandon. And they said that they would never reverse the adoption, so what are you-"_

" _They wouldn't. But_ ** _he_** _would." Callie said, before collapsing into tears again._

" _He who?"_

" _He, Robert Quinn." Callie choked out and her voice was laced with a chilling pain, "I_ ** _hate_** _him, Daphne. I hate him so much. He's not my parent and I'm almost 18. He shouldn't be able to-to do this." She added before she began to sob again._

" _Wait a minute. Callie look, I know you're upset, but can you please tell me what you're talking about? Why would Robert be able to reverse the adoption? Even if people are saying that you and Brandon slept together, can't ya'll just deny it like ya'll did before?"_

 _Callie shook her head, although within something splintered at Daphne's statement. She was right. They had denied it before and that's the only reason why Callie was able to be adopted. By denying Brandon as her first love and claiming him as her brother._

 _Callie shook this feeling off and sat up as she steadied herself enough to explain. "Not this time. It's on tape."_

 _Daphne shook her head "So, after all this time, Rita_ gave _them the tape? What the hell is wrong with her?"_

" _Not Rita." Callie said as she hung her head a bit, "You know how after…after everything happened, we would talk about it sometimes? Me and Brandon? Well, someone got it on tape and we were both talking about how we slept together and th-that it would ruin things and so we wouldn't tell anyone."_

 _Daphne shook her head at Callie but said nothing out loud. Inwardly, she couldn't help but to wonder why Callie and Brandon would have continued talking about this in a way that someone could get them on a recording and ruin things. But this line of thought brought up another question for Daphne._

" _Hold up._ Who _would get ya'll on tape? And even if they did, how did Robert find out?"_

" _No one knows who." Callie said, mostly together, now although tears still slid steadily down her cheeks. "But whoever did it sent the tape to Judge Ringer's office and to the Quinn's house last week. Then the Quinns' contacted my social worker and opened up another investigation. Carmen told the truth and that Rita was the one who convinced her not to tell and-" Callie gasped for air "Now Robert is seeking to reverse the adoption and Moms said he'll probably win."_

 _As the last words trailed out, Callie began to cry again and Daphne pulled her into her arms once more. "Callie, I'm so sorry. It's gonna be okay." Daphne said as she rubbed her friend's back again. "Ya'll got through this before, I know you can get through it again."_

 _Callie began to shake as she said quietly "But it's not the same. I heard the tape and…it's definitely us. And on the recording, Brandon even started…started crying and said that if he hadn't really and truly loved me, he never would have let the adoption go ahead after that. And…I thanked him for it and…I started crying too and…" Callie began to tremble as she recalled one of the many times Brandon and she had lied in order to allow the adoption to take place "I just don't think we can lie our way out of it this time."_

Tuning back into the present, Callie found her eyes a little misted as she glanced around Daphne's living room. So much had happened since that night, but she had never forgotten how Daphne had taken care of her. No judgement and no admonishment. She'd made up her couch bed and stayed by Callie's side until she fell asleep, promising her that she would be okay no matter what. And of course, she'd been right.

Daphne was Callie's close friend of about 3 years. The two had first met in Juvie and oddly enough Daphne had attacked her on her last day in. After this however, they had met up once more in the Girls United group home. Afterwards, they built and maintained a solid friendship. Daphne was Callie's closest confidante outside of the Adams Fosters and she was Daphne's as well.

Daphne had truly solidified their friendship when she covered for Callie on several occasions-many of those having to do with Brandon-and Callie had been instrumental in helping Daphne regain custody of her daughter, by testifying on her behalf and securing her a job that showcased to the courts her ability to remain stable. Their bond was very much unbreakable because of their shared and troubled backgrounds.

Daphne finally appeared in the doorway and Callie gasped up at her friend in awe.

Daphne was dressed in a sleeveless midnight blue dress that ruched at her waist and then flowed out in tattered fabric beneath, stopping at her knees, her dark wavy hair pulled back by a matching blue flower. On her feet were black boots with an opening at each tip. It was the most beautiful that Callie had ever seen her friend looking.

"Daphne?! You look amazing." Callie said with a shake of her head and Tasha clapped in happy agreement.

"Mama looks pwetty!"

Daphne stood back and did a little model pose, "Oh this? I just threw on a little something-something!" she said as she laughed with a twirl.

Callie laughed along with her as Daphne walked over to the couch and sat down gingerly.

"So, might I ask, what's the occasion?" Callie said turning to Daphne.

"Well, as you know I've been going out with Darryl."

"Yea, I remember. So you guys are still…?"

"Yes, we're ' _still_ '!" Daphne said with a laugh. "Maybe more." She added, blushing slightly. Darryl Moore was a sophomore college student Daphne had met at one of the many foster care events she volunteered at. Although he himself had never been in foster care, his mother was a social worker who had been and so it was a matter close to his heart.

"That's great, Daphne." Callie said, smiling but feeling a familiar longing in her heart. Callie often wondered what a true loving and lasting relationship could feel like.

"It is. _He_ is. He's so great with Tasha and he's-he's stable and he's steady and he's just…he's just wonderful." Callie smiled at her friend. Daphne was almost always vocal about her feelings to the extent that most never had to wonder what was on her mind, but Callie had never seen her like this. Daphne had been dating Darryl about 8 months now and although she had yet to express it to her, Callie knew that her friend was in love.

"So, we got about 10 more minutes 'til he's supposed to be here." Daphne said, checking her phone for the time, "And now we're all caught up on me. What about you? What's been going on with you lately?"

Callie smiled and shrugged glancing down at her grey overalls, suddenly feeling exceedingly underdressed.

"Nothing really. You know about the Dreams. Girls. United Center that's opening soon. And staying with Robert. Not much has changed for me…"

"Oh!" Daphne said suddenly, hitting Callie's shoulder with a jolt of remembrance "What about school? You told me that you were finally going to open your letters now that you got all of them back. Did you? And did you get in where you wanted to?"

Callie smiled and nodded at Daphne "I did. I actually opened them tonight. I got into San Diego Community and one of my top choices: that San Diego Art School we talked about. And like 6 others. "

"That's so good, Callie." Daphne said with a genuine smile, but the smile quickly dropped as she added "And…?"

"And what?" Callie said shaking her head a little too innocently. She added a confused squint for even more plausible deniability.

"And what about New York?"

Callie froze and her eyes focused on Tasha. Why had she told Daphne? It had been months ago and she was waiting for the letter and had needed to tell someone. She'd forgotten that Daphne never forgot anything.

"What about New York?" Callie said finally focusing on another of the dolls that Tasha was handing to her.

"Did you get in?" Daphne asked and Callie shrugged,

"Not really sure yet."

"So they haven't sent you a letter yet? That's messed up."

"No, they have," Callie said with a groan as she couldn't muster up the will to lie about it. "I just haven't opened it yet."

"Why not?"

"What do you mean, why not?"

"I mean is there a reason why you haven't opened up the letter for one of the schools that you were most excited about and wanting to get into?"

Callie was frustrated now and so she shot back defensively "I don't know, Daphne. Is there a reason why you haven't started attending your night classes at San Diego Community College which you got into last month?"

Whereas others would have taken her bait, Daphne just laughed at Callie's feeble attempt to change the subject. Callie sometimes forgot that just as much as Callie had seen, as many therapists and group sessions as she'd been a part of, Daphne had been too. So she knew a manipulation attempt when she heard it. Callie hated this about her.

"You wrong for that!" Daphne said with a laugh, clearly not bothered by Callie's statement. "Well, I'll be starting school in the summer for your information. But, back to the point! You always trying to change the subject and deflect by turning things around on me. But we both know that there's only one reason-"

"Daphne?!" Callie said with a slight panic and warning tone in her voice, but Daphne ignored her completely.

"-why you are even _thinking_ about going to NYU-"

"Daphne?!"

"-and his name starts with a _B_ and ends with an _N_! _Okay_?! Okay!" Daphne finished with a dramatic nod and crossed her arms triumphantly.

Callie turned towards Daphne now, her cheeks burning as she tried to diffuse the topic at hand. "Daphne, that is _not_ true."

"It's not?" Daphne asked skeptically.

"No!" Callie said feeling more than a little defensive "For your information, NYU has been a dream school of mine for a long time now."

"A long time? Meaning, ever since the first time you laid eyes on Bra-"

Callie interrupted her friend with an incredulous laugh, "Daphne, just stop okay?! How would I have even known that he wanted to go to Juilliard?"

Daphne gave an incredulous look of her own "Well, I mean…he's a musician. Don't they _all_ want to go to Juilliard?"

Callie laughed, "Look! You know what I mean. And besides that you know _me_. You know I'm not the kind of girl who would go to a school across the country _just_ because her boyfriend went there."

"Oh!" Daphne nearly screamed and Callie realized what she'd said too late, "So, now he's your " ** _boyfriend_** "?!" Daphne said and leapt to the floor playfully, nearly knocking Callie over in a school-girlish manner.

Callie shook her head and rolled her eyes although she couldn't help but smile at her friend's antics. "Would you stop using my words against me, like you don't know what I mean, Daphne."

Daphne calmed herself a little but the smile faded from her lips as she said in a more serious tone. "Callie, look. I know I tease you and I know I'm biased cuz I "ship" ya'll or whatever. But, you got to remember: I've seen you with Wyatt and AJ _and_ Aaron."

Callie wondered why Daphne was conjuring up the Ghosts of Boyfriends Past "And…?"

" _Annnnndd_. I have still never seen you the way that I saw you when you were with Brandon. There's just no comparison. So, now that you aren't adopted and ya'll aren't legal siblings or foster siblings or _anything_ siblings, why exactly can't you be with him?"

"It's not that easy, Daphne. It's complicated." And was it ever. Callie didn't even know how Brandon felt about any this. Or his family or her family or _their_ family. On second thought, complicated was an extreme oversimplification.

After a brief silence in which Tasha got to her feet and rushed off to her room to get some toy that she wanted to show Callie, Daphne slid closer to Callie and gripped both of her hands "Lemme just say this," Daphne said and Callie listened to her friend intently, "If you do get in and you realize that you want to go to New York to run away from something, don't go. But, if you want to go because you are running _towards_ something, go. And don't _ever_ look back."

Less than 15 minutes later, with Daphne off on her date with Darryl, Callie sat on the couch with Tasha in her lap and wondered about her friend's words. Was her desire to go to NYU another way of running away from something? And if it was, why did she still have that unopened envelope in her drawer? It was as if she was waiting on someone's permission to be denied or accepted. Happy or unfulfilled. Was she banking too much on New York equaling some unrealistic happily ever after?

Callie shook her head and rustled her hands through her hair with a deep sigh of exasperation. She blocked out her own thoughts and instead focused on the little girl who was going on and on about her princess adventure story.

Inside, Callie longed for the days when she was just like Tasha. Before her mother had died and her life had been thrown into a life-altering whirlwind. Back then, her biggest concern was wondering when the prince would be coming to rescue her.

Or, Callie thought with a smile, when she was going to have the chance to rescue him.


	15. Chapter 14

**Author's Note:**

Hi everyone! I am sure that we all have the news now about the cancellation of The Fosters and their follow-up plan. I have to say that I have actually been very busy of late and hadn't updated for a few weeks already, but luckily, I had my story outline fully written and the story should be done by the time their finale airs. I am a bit disheartened by the news announced, because I truly love the WHOLE Adams Fosters clan-in case you can't tell!-but I think because a lot of people saw this coming it wasn't at painful as it could have been. I hope everyone is okay and that you all still find ways to show your appreciation for the show. I know that we fans will still keep this show alive and of course, there is always fanfiction.

Now onto the story matters: I really and truly appreciate anyone who has ever favorited, followed or reviewed this story. If you are a member of Fanfiction who also writes and have left a review, just know that you have a review coming to you when I finish writing this one. (I am one of those odd ones who can't read other Fanfiction stories for the fandom while I am writing mine, because I don't like to have any influence outside of the source material and my own ideas. But you will definitely see a review afterwards! :) I also have to say something I haven't been mentioning enough: To anyone who is reading this story and _not_ reviewing, I truly appreciate you too. It means a lot that you think enough of this to keep reading it, even if you don't review it.

That said, as classes started back this week, I am unsure if I can keep things steadily updated, so I decided to post this longer chapter now just in case.

If you like it, have any ideas for the next few or anything else, please let me know. Feel free to PM me or review.

It's **_all_** appreciated!

 **Peaces!**

 **Chapter 14:**

 **Angry. Say.**

 **(February)**

Callie walked through the main room of Dreams. Girls. United and noted that everything was in order. All of the main computers were occupied, but other than the slight sound of someone humming the Sanctuary theme from the website and the computer keys clicking, the room was fairly silent.

The center was housed in what had once been a small charter school for a now deserted neighborhood project. It was therefore very large, with several small back rooms. The majority of the front of the building had been gutted, walls knocked down so that there was one large open space that housed a check-in center, a small library, a wall of computers for applying to various programs, a small game and "icebreakers" space (where the girls were meant to meet up and connect with each other) and a tutoring station. In addition to all of this, the back was complete with personal counseling rooms, and 4 volunteers who manned a 24 hour suicide and help hotline and various activity rooms.

Although the grand opening wasn't for another week, the soft opening of the center had gone much better than expected. There had been at least a hundred people in total who attended. Social workers, teachers, students and a few foster families had made up the crowd. Rita expected even more for the Grand Opening next week and Callie was expected to be on hand as a "Youth Director".

Callie smiled thinking of the title that Rita and Mary had given her. It was largely ceremonial as Callie couldn't make a solid future obligation being that she was definitely attending school in the fall. But, for now, it meant that Callie was the point person for any of the girls who checked in. Although somewhat in line with a role she'd held at the Drop-In Center about a year prior, Callie was given a much larger amount of responsibility. She was in charge of ensuring that each member was properly signed up and in and accounted for, directed to where they needed to go, understood and had assistance filling out the paperwork needed and was signed up for all of the eligible programs available to them.

Callie wiped her forehead over which she wore a blue bandana, her hair tied up into two pigtails and happened to glance at the bangle that Mariana had given her. Callie and Mariana had made a pact since Christmas to meet up for lunch at least once every two weeks. They talked a lot on the phone but Mariana had begun spending a lot more of her time with her extracurricular activities now that her senior year was coming to a close. Still, Mariana had surprised her with a bracelet with the letters TER in-between charms with Callie's birthstone, at their last lunch. Mariana had smiled widely as she showcased her matching bracelet with SIS in-between the charms with her birthstone.

"Just don't want you to forget." Mariana said and they hugged as Callie promised she wouldn't. She never could.

Callie was shaken from her memory of the lunch as her cellphone vibrated in the pockets of her jean overalls. Callie smiled as she saw Brandon's name flash across the screen.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Callie." Brandon said sounding a little sullen.

"Hey." Callie said distractedly as she made her way towards the hallway entrance so that she could hear him better and not disturb the girls in the main room. "What's wrong?"

Brandon paused and then said "Why does something have to be wrong?"

"Because, I know you." Callie said with a slight annoyance. She didn't feel like being bothered with Brandon's riddles "You sound stressed out."

Brandon sighed deeply. "They're having tryouts for this intense piano class this week. I want to try out, but I'm really nervous."

Callie rolled her eyes. As much as she cared about Brandon, sometimes his neurotic behavior could be a bit tiresome. "Brandon? You know that you'll get in. Just try out."

"Wow. I see you're still working on your motivational pep talk skills." Brandon said with a sarcastic laugh.

Callie sighed a little deeper as she recalled a 14 year old girl name Cecilia who'd been homeless for 4 months whom she'd spoken with earlier today. Sometimes other people's first-world problems seemed so trivial compared to the destitute and truly desperate people she encountered.

"Am I really going to have to give you a pep talk for every step that you take in life, Brandon?" Callie bit out before she'd realized it.

Brandon was quiet for a moment and then said "Why are you being so mean to me? I was really glad to get to talk to you and I was going to surprise you with something… Now you're making me feel like maybe I shouldn't."

Callie sighed deeply and shook her head, the smile involuntarily crossing her lips. She knew that she was being a little harsh but she couldn't help it. She'd been feeling exceedingly stressed out with everything she'd been working on lately and the grand opening in the next week. Not to mention still having to decide on her school.

"Sorry, Brandon. I'm just a little…frazzled today, I guess. With the soft opening over, we have the grand opening coming up in a week and I'm handling a lot. I didn't mean to be so hard on you though." Callie glanced at her phone for the time and saw that she had just come upon her lunch and actually had plenty of time to talk. "So, please; tell me more about the classes." Callie finished heading into the hallway and then added "And about the surprise."

Brandon was silent for a moment and then said dishearteningly "No, it's okay. I can tell you're really busy and wasn't trying to bother you. I'll just talk to you later."

"No!" Callie said, as she felt a slight anxiety making her way farther along the hallway towards the entrance of the center. Callie felt ridiculous as she was suddenly desperate to keep speaking to Brandon but she couldn't help it. "What was the surprise?"

"You sure you want to know?"

"I'm sure." Callie said as she made her way out of the center. "Tell me."

As Callie opened the door she collided with someone who was apparently about to walk in and they both ended up sprawled out on their backs.

As Callie sat up, she felt a slight throbbing in her head "So sorry." She said weakly glancing around for her phone.

"You should be." Came the familiar voice and Callie glanced ahead of her and seeing Brandon sprawled out in front of her she gasped.

"Brandon?! What are you _doing_ here?"

Brandon rubbed his head a bit and then smiled at Callie saying in a mock revelatory tone "Surprise!"

 ** _A Little While Later_**

"So that," Callie said as they came upon the small music room and she dropped into a half-curtsy flourish. "Was the Dreams. Girls. United Center." Brandon gave a half-smile and bowed playfully in response with a small flourish of his own. "Why thank you Youth Director Callie, for the grand tour."

Brandon placed his hands in his pockets and glanced around the small pink room. There was a keyboard in the corner, a drum set beside the window and what looked like a karaoke machine with a dusty mic. "Well, this is…nice…" he said hesitantly.

Callie laughed walking over to the keyboard and playing a few errant keys "It's kind of pathetic, Brandon. You don't have to pretend."

Brandon's smile broke through as he agreed "Yea, it's pretty sad."

"But, it's all we could afford for now." Callie said crossing her arms. "Music wasn't exactly a priority to Mary. She said that the girls have a lot more serious issues than "tapping on a drum". But I mean, I know how much having some kind of artistic outlet can help; it can even be therapeutic. So, I was determined that we would have one and a few of the girls can even sing. Maybe only about 5 have even come in here so far, but I'm really glad that they have it."

Brandon nodded and stared off out the small window " _You_ were determined…? So you actually put things together in here. Had a say?"

Callie smiled a little bashfully "Yea…I mean, I guess. I was able to tell them what I thought would help. Being that I stayed in Girls United, Worked for Dreams. Girls. and was a foster kid Rita said I was probably the most qualified non-applicant they had." Callie laughed at the remembrance. "And that's how I became the official un-official Youth Director." Callie said proudly. It had been so long since she'd been doing something she was as proud of as she was of this. And being able to share it with Brandon was the best thing that had happened in a while.

Brandon glanced around the room again and was oddly quiet. He continued staring out the tiny window and Callie leaned gently against the keyboard and said "And what about you?"

Brandon shrugged "What about me?"

"How are things going for you? Are you really trying out for those classes or was that just the cover story?"

"Not really…I mean I was going to. I thought about it. But you need an original piece."

Callie squinted over at him. "And…? You have lots of original pieces."

"Yea, well. It can't just be original it has to be good. And I haven't really been able to…compose anything for a while now."

"But you composed "Sanctuary".

"That was different. That was like fulfilling an assignment, I didn't write that for me." Brandon said with a shake of his head.

Callie paused and thought as Brandon made his way towards the drum set tapping it with his fingers.

"Well," Callie said walking over beside him. "How did you compose before? For yourself, I mean?"

Something flickered across Brandon's expression, but he didn't look at Callie. "I probably shouldn't say." He said as his fingers stilled over the tight drum cover.

Callie smiled gently, but for some reason she was also suddenly nervous. "Say."

"Well…" Brandon began and then he huffed out in a quick and harsh whisper "Usually it was just after you'd devastated me. So if you could do that again, maybe I can come up with something."

Callie paused and just looked at Brandon and he glanced over at her. As he saw her eyes filling with tears, he seemingly realized just how hurtful his words had been and began to say something else. Before he could, Callie reached out and shoved him into the drums. Brandon yelped in pain and fell so that his legs and arms flayed about among the cymbals and drums. "Callie!"

"Go to _hell_ , Brandon Foster!" Callie called back as she marched off to the bathroom to dry her eyes.

 ** _A Week Later_**

Callie was busy rushing around the event. The chairs were in place, the food was ordered and everything was set up, yet somehow she was still anxious. The official, _official_ grand opening of the center, the website, the program and everything that they had been working towards for months was finally under way. She tried to remember the advice Mariana, Sophia and Jude-who'd all come to support her-had given earlier this afternoon.

"Callie…stay calm." Mariana said

"And breathe." Sophia added

"Trust me; I know what happens when you let anxiety take over you." Mariana said.

"And I know what happens when you keep everything inside." Sophia chimed in.

"So if you need to talk. We're here." Mariana said as she reached out and squeezed Callie's shoulder.

"Hey!" Jude piped in "I'm here too."

"Sorry, Judicorn." Mariana said as Sophia nodded in agreement to whatever she was about to say "But, this is kind of about girl power today." Jude fake pouted and Mariana nudged him gently before turning back to Callie "Sorry Jesus and Brandon couldn't come. They wanted to. But, Jesus had to finish a few more interviews for our senior project and Brandon is practicing piano for something." Mariana said with a roll of her eyes.

"It's fine." Callie said with a shake of her head "I already know. Jesus called me." She didn't mention Brandon and wished Mariana hadn't even said his name.

Callie was trying not to be, but she was still angry at Brandon. She had been waiting so long to see him and was so happy to be able to show him everything she'd been a part of. And all he'd done was ruin it with his horribly mean-spirited comment. It was like a stab in her heart. After she'd shoved him into the drums and headed to the bathroom, she swore rather dramatically that she'd never speak to him again. It took her a few minutes to get herself together and when she'd gone back out into the main room of the center, Brandon was nowhere to be found. Not that'd she'd even looked for him.

Now, Callie blocked out thoughts of Brandon as she made her way to the front of the crowd and listened to Rita introducing Angel, a singer they'd brought in for an empowering song in honor of the grand opening.

"Wow she sings beautifully." Sela said leaning back into Marcus.

"She does." Marcus said with a quick kiss to her cheek.

"She's okay." Daniella piped in.

"She's more than okay." Callie said with a slight edge to her voice. She could tell that it was only a matter of time before she finally blew up at Daniella's consistent negativity when it came to Sela. "She's amazing."

"She _really_ is. Too bad she wasn't around back when I was having open auditions for R + J." Callie heard and whipped around to see Brandon staring at her sheepishly, in his eyes an apology that she didn't want to hear. Immediately, Callie stormed towards the back of the crowd, not wanting to hear anything from him.

"Callie, wait!"

"No, Brandon! If I had anything to say to you, I would have answered one of your hundred phone calls." Callie called back as she practically shoved out into the open space away from the crowd. Brandon's calls had been consistent and Callie's screening had been just as consistent. She'd barely left the Quinns' all week, because she just knew that Brandon would never dare show his face there and she'd been right.

Callie glanced back and with no sign of Brandon made her way towards the hallway. She'd needed to head to the kitchen anyway to ensure that the chef would be bringing out the cake in time. Just as she reached for the kitchen door Callie felt someone reaching out for her and she sighed with exasperation already knowing who it was.

Callie turned towards Brandon, fire in her eyes "What?! What do you want, Brandon?" Callie hissed angrily.

In the sudden quiet, as with everyone else in the grand room they were alone in the hallway, Brandon just stopped and stared at Callie.

Callie was wearing a strapless knee-length grey dress that began plainly at the top but had sparkles of glittering dust as it neared the bottom, ending with bursts of glitter at the bottom. On anyone else her cotton short sleeved jacket, might have seemed an odd choice, but it tied in with her white knapsack. Her shoes were white flats with grey tips that matched the dress but were much easier to walk in then heels. Her hair was in waves around her face and her makeup was minimal as usual, with grey eye liner framing her dark brown eyes.

Callie looked absolutely stunning and if she hadn't been so furious with him, she'd have noticed that Brandon was caught up noticing this.

"Well?" Callie huffed crossing her arms and forcing Brandon's eyes to meet hers. "What. Do. You. Want?" she asked, biting out each word sharply.

"T-to say sorry." Brandon stammered. "To say I was mean and I was out of line and I'm sorry." Brandon said, as he stepped away from Callie and hung his head gently.

Callie shook her head "Well, I _don't_ accept that!" Callie said as she turned back towards the kitchen.

"Callie-"

Callie turned back around and about screamed "I miss you, Brandon!" and Brandon backed up a little, clearly thrown off by the intensity of her anger. "And I don't just mean as my…as my…fr-" Callie's voice broke as she glanced down and then quickly wiped the tear from her eye and she began again "I just miss you and me. Talking. Hanging out. Whatevering. Before everything blew up and got crazy. But when it did, you moved. Like _immediately_ left. And so, even though I missed everyone else too, they're here and you're not." Callie said with a harsh point at Brandon and he hung his head again.

"And so whenever I see you, I'm always happy to. And this time, I was so stressed out and anxious, but seeing you all of a sudden it was like…I was just _happy_ again. And I was really proud to be able to show you the Center and like, that I wasn't just the "poor little foster girl" anymore and that maybe-maybe things don't have to be so…awkward with us anymore."

Waiters began bustling and in out of the kitchen doors, but Callie and Brandon were practically unaware, safe inside the bubble of their own private drama as usual.

"So for you to say… _that_. Of all things? When I already feel like trash. Like I messed up everything for every one-"

"I know."

"-I'm sitting here, happy to see you and thinking that maybe we're getting back on the same page. Maybe we can start being friends again and all of a sudden, you turn into Captain Asshole."

"Not just Captain Asshole," Brandon said lightly, "King Asshole, ruling over Asshole land, in all my Asshole glory and I'm really sorry. Being a passive-aggressive jerk never helped anyone and I swear I didn't mean it. I miss you too…A lot. I just…I was…"

Brandon paused and glanced down at his feet again.

"You were just what? Wanting to hurt me? Wanting to make me feel worse than I already always-"

"I was jealous, Callie." Brandon broke in and Callie stared at him flabbergasted.

" _Jealous_? Of what…?"

"Of _you_." Brandon said with a defeated shrug and then motioned toward the room "And Mariana and Jude and Jesus. Hell, maybe even Sophia, who knows?"

"What could you possibly have to be jealous about?" Callie wondered aloud.

"You guys are all on track. You're getting ready to go off and start your lives, Jude is like the captain of everything and Mariana is at the top of every class. Jesus is doing so great and on track to finish school. And you? You're not even _in_ school yet and you're already starting to like, change the world. Meanwhile, I'm stuck in this weird loser-reject limbo, trying to convince myself that maybe Juilliard will still accept me again even though I'm practically middle-aged."

"Brandon…"

"So, I'd been feeling miserable lately and I only even came home to support you for the opening after Mama told me about it. But, _seeing_ the center? And hearing you talking and seeing how great you were doing I just…got really jealous and I guess I…I wanted you to feel as bad as I was feeling. But, it wasn't right and it wasn't true and it was just really low. And I'm really, _really_ sorry."

Callie shook her head. All at the same time that she felt badly for Brandon, was still angry at him and accepting of his explanation, Lena's words about taking care of herself first rang in her head and she said. "I get it, okay? Whatever you think, I'm not exactly where I thought I'd be either; 18 years old, living with my birth dad, working at a nonprofit and taking a gap year just to get my head together. But, whatever's going on with you, from now on? You can _talk_ to me about it, Brandon. You can tell me what's happening and I'll listen. Or ask me for advice and I'll give it to you. But you do ** _not_** get to take it out on me." Callie said emphasizing the words in the last sentence and then added "I don't even know who I am to you right now, but what I _do_ know is that I'm not the one that you get to treat like shit."

Brandon stared at Callie with an increasingly apologetic look and as much as she wanted to, she didn't waiver "We go forward, Brandon and I'll be your friend. I _won'_ t be your punching bag." Callie finished and crossed her arms, her strong statement a bit comically interrupted by her wavy hair, which had been bouncing around in a frenzy with her gestures, falling over her left eye.

Brandon smiled slightly and Callie wasn't sure why but she wanted to reach out and smack him for it. Brandon reached over and gently pushed her hair from her eyes. Callie pulled away, refusing to let him turn the moment into anything aside from a response to what she'd just said.

Resigned, Brandon shoved his hands into his pockets and said "I get it, Callie. You're right, of course and I get it. And from now on, if I need to, I'll just talk to you."

"Good," Callie said with a nod.

"So how about, now that that's settled," Brandon said holding his arm out for Callie to loop hers through. Callie just stared down at it and then back up at him "I mean…it _is_ settled, right?" Brandon said, hopefully.

"Right," Callie said calmly and walked over to Brandon sliding her arm through his. So often she forgot that this was okay now. They could touch, hold. In public, with people milling about. Nothing wrong…

"Now, that that's settled," Brandon began again as he guided Callie back towards the door to the main room. "How about we get back to what this day is supposed to be about? Celebrating you and the amazing things you're doing."

Callie began to smile as they walked through the doors, but the smile left her face as she remembered that Brandon was right, she _was_ supposed to be doing something. "The cake!" Callie yelped as she tried to yank away from Brandon and instead pulled him with her back towards the large kitchen doors.

Just before reaching them, both doors flung open and out walked the chef wheeling a large cart with the giant cake. Just in time, Brandon pulled Callie out of the way and her back slammed into the wall to the right of the giant doors.

Callie's breath caught as Brandon's hands pressed against the hallway walls on either side of her face and he stood hovered in front of her protectively. In a matter of seconds, Callie was glancing up at Brandon, him staring down at her and Callie could feel Brandon's breathing going ragged.

Callie stared up into Brandon's eyes, his scent filled her nostrils and those eyes wouldn't let her look away. Brandon's look was one of pensive contemplation and his glance at her quivering lips was hard to mistake.

 _Kiss him. He's practically_ begging _for it_. Callie thought, but she made no move except to glance at his lips too. Callie bit her own and then glanced back into Brandon's eyes.

At the sound of a waiter laughing, Callie was jolted out of this moment that involved only Brandon's eyes and lips and remembered that she was needed in the main room and had to get back to work.

 _Now's not the time for Callie: Brandon Kisser; it's time for Callie: Youth Director_ , she thought.

Callie gulped as her hands hung limply at her sides and she finally managed to choke out "T-Thank you."

Brandon's eyes flickered for just a moment before he seemed to recall where they were and what had just happened, "You-you're welcome." He said and as the doors to the kitchen swung shut, Brandon pushed away from the wall. This time however, he didn't hold out his arm, the air thick with the tension of the moment. Instead, Brandon opened the door to the main room again and said softly "Shall we?"

Callie swallowed the saliva that had gathered in her mouth and croaked out "We shall." as she quickly rushed past Brandon and into the main room.

 _Well,_ Callie thought as she made her way to her place beside Sela and Daniella up on the dais, _at least I'm not angry at him anymore._


	16. Chapter 15

**Hi All!**

Had a break so decided to post some new material! Really enjoyed writing these chapters as it was nice to have a break from the angst and just do some good "old-fashioned" Fosters fun! (And if Fanfics have "finales" so to speak, the next chapter would be considered my Winter Finale. Lol.)

I also want to quickly thank anyone who has ever read, favorited, reviewed, followed or any mixture of those! I want to add a quick note though to a few reviewers in particular:

 **Bralliex:** I cannot believe that you took the time to thoughtfully review each chapter! I hadn't had time to read new reviews before as I was busy with school, but I just wanted to say that I really appreciated each and every single one! That was so kind of you and truly amazing!

 **tfrye123:** Thank you so much for the thoughtful critique! I am really doing my best to ensure that everyone is believably on the same page before they are finally a family again. So it's awesome to see that I am doing it in a way that would notice! I honestly enjoyed and was moved by your review!

 **Starry Eyed Dreamers:** Wow. Just wow. Thank you so very much for your in-depth critique of the characters and your suggestion for future chapters (hint: you stumbled upon a few upcoming spoilers too!:). But, seriously. I know that to some it may "just" be a fanfiction, but I really and truly do work hard to only write as I feel is genuine to the characters. So the fact that you think I have captured them? Means the world to me. This one really made my night!

And anyone I didn't mention, any guest reviewers and everyone else, thank you so much! I cannot say enough how much all of your opinions and continuing to read my story means to me.

Ok…as usual my "quickly" lasted about a page. Sorry guys! Onto the fic!

 **Peaces!**

 **Chapter 15:**

 **Break. Springs.**

 **(March)**

Callie clicked the seatbelt into place and glanced out of the window. Mariana's seat beside Callie was empty, as she was in the bathroom removing her makeup while Sophia sat near the aisle asking the flight attendant for a blanket or something. Callie widened and then closed her eyes, breathing deeply as she thought about the odd circumstances that had brought her here…

 _ **One Week Before**_

" _So," Sophia said as she walked along beside the pool next to Callie "Dad said it was fine with him if I didn't want to go on the school trip."_

 _Callie was confused as to why Sophia seemed so excited about her news but she allowed her tone to only convey curiosity "Okay. That's…nice? I guess."_

" _It's more than nice Callie! Because Dad also said that I can still go on a trip as long as I have an adult with me!"_

" _Okay." Callie said and her older sister senses began to tingle as she had a thought as to what Sophia was implying. "Sophia…no."_

" _Callie!_ _ **Please**_ _?! It's Spring Break! And Dad and Mom both said that I can go as long as you go with me."_

" _But Sophia if you wanted to go on a trip for Spring Break, why didn't you just go with your other classmates?"_

" _Because…" Sophia whined "It's going to be like being in school. And I don't want to spend my Spring Break in school! I want to spend it with my FAVORITE sister ever. And it would be the perfect opportunity for us to bond." Sophia said, stopping Callie from continuing her pool circling with a tug of her hand. "Please?"_

" _Sophia, where would you even want to go…?" Callie asked and Sophia seemed satisfied with the thought that Callie was giving in to some extent._

" _That's easy. Cancun."_

" _ **Cancun**_ _?! As in Mexico?" Callie said crossing her arms as Sophia nodded. Callie's mind flashed to a trip that she and Brandon had taken to Mexico almost two years ago and shook her head._

" _No, Sophia. I've been to Mexico. It's not the safest place to visit."_

 _Sophia tilted her head "What do you mean? When did you go to Mexico?" Callie glanced back at the house and then said in a conspiratorial whisper "You can't tell Dad or Jill."_

" _I won't!" Sophia said, her eyes clearly hungry for the secret._

" _When I was almost 17, Brandon and I went to Mexico to hang-glide."_

" _HANG-GLIDE?!"_

" _SHHHHHH!" Callie said, yanking Sophia down beside her in the poolside beach chair._

" _Yes, hang-glide."_

" _Callie?! That sounds amazing."_

 _Callie paused briefly and smiled as she remembered the feeling of flying but then shook off the memory when she remembered her reason for bringing it up. "It was fun, yes. But we were there to hang-glide without parental consent, so not too confident on their lax policies for teenage bad behavior. And aside from that, we had to bribe some corrupt police officers with Brandon's keyboard to get out of a stint in jail or something._ _ **And**_ _we almost got stuck there because we forgot our passports. So, it wasn't exactly a trip to add to the tour guide handbook."_

 _Sophia looked at Callie incredulously "But we wouldn't be doing anything illegal like you guys did. We would just be beaching and sight-seeing. My friend Margo went last year and she told me about some_ amazing museums and Mayan ruins _and I really want to see them, Callie."_

 _Callie scoffed "Right…so you want to go to Cancun for the Mayan ruins, Sophia? Please spare me the parental talking points alright. I know what goes on in Cancun."_

 _Sophia gasped and shook her head innocently "Really, Callie! You know me. I mean it would be fun to party too, but I really do want to get a head start on a report that I have when school starts back. I was planning to do it on the ruins."_

 _Callie paused and considered Sophia carefully. She was right that was kind of a nerd and likely did want to see the ruins she'd mentioned. It wasn't her fault that Callie's mind leaned more towards illegal adventures than most._

 _Callie shook her head again and said as she tried to come up with another excuse "Alright, say I believe you. Even if I am okay with going to Mexico for Spring Break, Jude is off too. And so are Mariana and Jesus. And it wouldn't be right for me to spend all of you guys' Spring Break in Mexico with just you. It wouldn't be fair to them."_

 _Sophia smiled widely and said "First off, it wouldn't be the whole of Spring Break, just 3 days, which was mom's concession to the trip."_

" _Still, Sophia. Spring Break is only 10 days and I can't spend a third of that with only you. I have other siblings too."_

" _And that's the only reason, you won't go?" Sophia said slowly with a mischievous grin._

 _Against her better judgement Callie finally nodded slowly and said "Yeesss…." Just as slowly._

 _Quicker than the words had seeped from Callie's lips, Sophia was shoving her phone up into Callie's face._

 _Callie squinted as she read the message "Sure. I'll go if Callie will. And I'm sure I can get Mariana to come too." Callie's eyes read the sender and she shook her head saying out loud. "Of course, Jude would say that…I'm gonna kill him."_

"Are you ok?" Mariana said and Callie glanced at her, returning to the present plane ride, and smiled gently.

"I am." Callie said and patted Mariana's hand.

Mariana responded by clenching hers tightly. "I missed this." She said and nodded to the surrounding atmosphere "Going out of town for a family vacay. Spending time with you."

Callie smiled and nodded at Mariana "Me too."

The plane ride, although not the smoothest, seemed to be over as quickly as it started, although it actually lasted more than 4 hours. Partially due to the distraction that Sophia's constant chatter had provided and Callie was more than grateful for this. It helped to keep her mind off of the boy on the flight whose presence was more than just a little unexpected.

As Callie, Mariana and Sophia walked off the flight and into the Cancun airport, Mariana pulled along 3 large carry-on cases which she'd been able to carry on using Callie and Jude's spare "extra" carry-on option. Sophia lugged one preppy fabric covered suitcase. Callie tugged her single backpack over her back wondering what in the world Mariana needed all of that luggage for. _We're here like 3 days._

"Hey!" the girls heard and Callie turned to see Jesus lumbering towards them. His backpack was his only luggage and Callie was glad to see that he had packed light too. Now she didn't feel so out of place.

Jude was following him closely yelling something about how he wasn't done with his in-flight lunch. "Hey, dude, I told you: Finders, Keepers." Jesus said offhandedly, laughing at Jude's complaints.

"You can't _find_ food on someone's else's plate!" Jude snapped and Callie noted that he was somewhere in between she and Sophia. He had a roll-along suitcase as well as a small knapsack slung over his shoulder. Callie was more than a little annoyed that Jude had been colluding with Sophia behind her back, but it still warmed her heart to see Jude so relaxed and contently arguing with Jesus. _They really are brothers._ She thought with a smile. The thought warmed her heart immensely.

"Will you two _please_?! I had to listen to that nonsense the whole flight and frankly I've had enough." Brandon said walking up behind the two boys and Callie shook her head a bit.

 _Jude and Jesus had been invited and expected by Callie and Sophia as they waited near the boarding gate for the boys. Jesus had gotten special permission from Lena and Stef to travel after his doctor had assessed him and declared to his Moms on his behalf that was "No more likely to get into trouble in Cancun, Mexico than any other 17 year olds." Not exactly a glowing recommendation, but they took it after Jesus expressed how important the trip was to him._

 _Brandon on the other hand, had been a shock. Such a shock, that Callie had gasped out "Br-Brandon?! What are_ _ **you**_ _doing here?!" upon seeing him._

 _Brandon stopped short and glanced at Jude and then back at Callie "Um…Jude invited me…? It's okay isn't it? I mean," he said motioning to the other children "Everyone else was going and the whole reason I came home was to spend time with them, so…"_

 _Jude? Callie thought, but remembering the talk she'd had with him a while back about being kinder to Brandon, she realized that maybe didn't have the right to be angry. Seeing Brandon popping in from New York at least once a month, Callie wondered just how many tips he was making at that hotel to fund these sudden trips across country._

 _Or is he still using his college fund?_

 _Realizing that she was zoning out into near-ridiculousness, Callie tried to hide the awkwardness she felt as she refocused on the task at hand and cleared her throat a little, "Yea, I mean no. I mean…Yea, it's okay of course, I just… I didn't know you were home even. I mean in San Diego."_

 _Brandon nodded and Callie appreciated that he didn't acknowledge her awkward behavior "Yea, they," He said pointed at the other Adams Foster kids "insisted on it." He gave a short laugh, "So I guess it was just a pity invite especially if they didn't even bother to tell you I was coming."_

 _Callie shook her head softly, but quickly cut her eyes at Jude who was staring down at his phone oblivious "No, I mean. It was kind of last minute for everyone. I'm sure they just didn't think to mention it." Callie said and with her uncomfortable smile she led the way towards the gate._

" _Enough_ , alright?" Brandon said, setting down his backpack as though the weight of carrying it down the plane stairs and into the air-conditioned airport had zapped all of his energy. "Jude, if it means that much to you, I will buy you lunch." Brandon said as he drunk from a water bottle and then stretched back his arms.

Jude looked up at Jesus menacingly "It's _not_ the same as the in-flight meal." Jude said and then after adding a pause for dramatic effect finished with a gasp of mock pain " _Nothing_ is!"

"Oh my God!." Brandon said shaking his head in exasperation as he picked up his bag again.

Callie smiled at their antics and turned to Sophia. "So, Tour Guide Sophia? What's next on the agenda?"

Sophia smiled brightly clearly missing the joke and pulled out the 5 page itinerary she had printed out for their trip. "First: we take the taxi that should be outside in about 10 minutes to our hotel, The Grand Dame. Then we have lunch at Noon, a guided tour of the city at 2:00 and dolphin swimming at 6:00."

"Yeesh." Jesus said, playfully snatching the list from above Sophia's head "I thought we were here for hot chicks and hot food."

"You-" Mariana said leaping up to snatch the list from Jesus as he was dangling it over Sophia's head "-are here for _no_ chicks whatsoever." Mariana handed the list back to Sophia and turned to Jesus with a point of her finger up to his face " _You_ are getting back together with Emma."

Jesus rolled his eyes "E-enough already, Mariana. You and I both know that Emma and I are history."

"What I know is that you and Emma _have_ history. And once you get over yourself, you're going to be glad that I didn't let you ruin it for some Mexico skeezes."

"Alright, alright. Can we _please_ calm the non-dramas?" Brandon started huffily, "I've already had it up to here! And I didn't come all the way home and then fly all the way here to listen to your random arguments about stolen lunches and-and Mexican skeezes!" Brandon finished in a voice that had gotten a little too loud. Unfortunately, he ended his rant with a glance over just as a group of older Hispanic women had come walking up. One gasped and the rest gave him looks of disgust. Brandon tried to apologize, stammering out "I-I'I-I'm sorry…" as the women turned away from him and stomped off clearly offended.

Brandon looked to the other kids for help, but all he received in return was their bursts of ridiculing laughter and Callie gazed quietly at him, thinking how much she had missed his awkward behavior.

 _Why do I even like this dork?_ Callie thought off-handishly as she shook her head and smiled to herself.

"So," Sophia said reaching down and grabbing up her luggage handle and nodding toward the exit. "Shall we go?"

 _ **Later On That Morning**_

The rooms were stunning. Robert had more than outdone himself with the accommodations. The girls' room was large enough that all 3 Queen-sized beds with pretty green bedding had enough room in between that there was a small dresser and lamp beside each. And this still only took up half of the suite. On the other side, there was a small kitchen with a midsize fridge and full-sized stove, all in stainless steel with beautiful wood paneling the walls. The bathroom was positioned directly across from the beds and in the farthest corner a giant TV was positioned on a small wooden stand. To the left of the TV there was the large window nearly covering the wall and overlooking a beautiful view of the crystal-clear waters of the beach below. Finishing things off was an exceedingly plush beige chaise lounge beside the window.

The boys' room exactly mirrored the girls on the opposite side of the wall. For security reasons, the boys' room was next door to the girls' room with an adjourning door for direct access to the right of the TV. Callie couldn't help but wonder if Robert had known about Brandon's presence. Callie couldn't imagine that he would have been okay with this if he had, but she wasn't going to be the one to spill the beans.

The girls all set their bags down and Mariana and Sophia promptly leapt onto the giant beds and began hopping. Callie shook her head at them as Mariana leaped onto the other bed and began to do some kind of "Vogue" dance step and bounce routine. Sophia simply jumped with no rhythm.

"Really mature, you two. You're going to break the springs." Callie said with a laugh as she settled back against the lounge.

Sophia laughed as though Callie had made a hilarious joke and then said revealing the source of her humor "Maybe that's why they call it Spring! **Break**!" Sophia laughed even harder as Mariana joined in laughing along at her silly joke.

When she stopped laughing, Mariana gave Callie a suddenly stern look—as stern as possible while she continued hopping, anyway. "Don't- Even- Try it!- Callie!" Mariana said, speaking one word after every jump before she stopped and said in an accusing tone "We all saw you bouncing like a crazy person at your birthday party and _you_ were 17 then. So don't act like you're above having fun." Mariana finished before continuing her hysterical bounce-dance.

"Yea!" Sophia added with a short laugh before she and Mariana began leaping from bed to bed and laughing like children.

There was a short knock on the adjourning door and both girls paused their jumps to shout "Come in!" before immediately starting up again.

Brandon opened the door and at the sight of Sophia and Mariana said "Oh God! I was trying to get away from this."

"Away from what?" Callie asked turning towards him. Brandon stepped into the room and then motioned towards the boys' room. Callie leaned from her seat and peeked in to see Jude and Jesus nearly mirroring Sophia and Mariana's behavior in the boys' room. When Callie saw that the boys were jumping too, she glanced at Brandon and they exchanged exasperated looks. "It's going to be a _long_ weekend." Brandon said as Callie nodded.

" _Very_ long."


	17. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16:**

 **Thoughts. Wild.**

The rest of the day went off without a hitch. As planned their lunch was at noon, city tour at 2 and then dolphin swimming at 6. The only thing that wasn't planned out was dinner. But by the time they finally returned to the hotel, Callie was too exhausted to even argue with everyone else about where they would go. Unfortunately, every else seemed fully fueled up for the task

 **Jesus:** Tacos!

 **Jude:** _Tacos_?! That is such a Californian thing to say! No, I want _authentic_ Mexican cuisine.

 **Sophia:** My friend Margo said that they have a Burger King. With Spanish whoppers and everything! I want to try it!

 **Mariana:** Um…Yuck! I didn't come to Mexico to eat disgusting burgers. Not to mention, _Hello_? Resident vegan, here. No, we have to go somewhere we all agree on or we're not going _any_ where.

 **Brandon** : Can you guys just pick a place already? Enough with the bickering! Callie? Will you do something about this?

Callie just blinked at Brandon and shrugged. "Can't we just order room service?"

"Room service?!" All the other kids seemed to scream simultaneously.

"Do you have any idea how much that costs?" Brandon said, as he pulled open the door for the girls to enter their room.

"Dad gave me a credit card with a $1000 spending limit." Brandon stared at Callie wide-eyed and she smiled a little embarrassed "To build credit and for shopping." She said with another shrug and nodded at Sophia trying to redirect the 4 pairs of eyes glaring at her "She has one too." Sophia nodded with an oblivious smile as usual.

"But you don't even shop." Brandon said exasperated.

"Newsflash, Brandon: all girls shop." Mariana said.

"Yikes!" Jude said with a laugh "Sexist stereotype alert!" Mariana shoved him playfully, telling him to shut up but Callie nodded at Brandon's statement. "Exactly. So, what I am saying is that whatever it costs, I'll pay for it. Or I guess Dad is paying for it: I don't care." With that, Callie flopped face first into her bed and muffled out "I'm too tired to go back out again, anyway."

"But, _Callie_ ," Sophia whined, as Callie raised her head only long enough to get her card out of her purse "We were supposed to have a beautiful **bonding** dinner."

"Please, Sophia…not tonight." Callie said with a fake sob, "I just want to _sleeeeeeeeep_!"

"But, what about that beach party?" Mariana said, sitting heavily onto the bed beside Callie. "You said we could check it out later."

"No," Callie said as she rolled over and stared up into the overhead painting as her head began to throb. "What I said was that we _might_ check it out. But honestly it looked a bit on the wild side."

"Isn't that what we came here for?" Jesus asked, flopping on the opposite side of Callie and nearly sending her flying up into the air "A walk on the wild side?" As her only response to his joke, Callie gave Jesus an annoyed look.

Callie then glanced up and over at Brandon who was shaking his head by the door. "Here," she said holding out her card. "Can you please take them to dinner downstairs? There's a restaurant near the entrance I think."

"Do they have vegan options?" Mariana asked standing up and adjusting her purse.

"I guess you'll just have to find out." Jesus said, grabbing her arm as she tried to head to the bathroom.

"Hey! I was trying to touch up my makeup." Mariana said, trying to pull away from him. 

"You look fine, Mariana." Jesus said.

"Like you'd know!" Mariana said yanking her arm away from him. 

Jude piped in, "You do look nice actually. Just as good as you did this morning." Mariana smiled genuinely and said

"Thank you, Judicorn. Okay. We can go." Mariana said leading the other kids out of the door with Jesus complaining that she valued Jude's opinion over hers.

Brandon lingered by Callie as he took the card from her hand and looked down at her. Callie blinked up at him while trying to find a comfortable spot in the bed. "What?" Callie said, suddenly feeling very watched as she struggled to get the covers from beneath her without lifting up. Her head was throbbing harder now. Those dolphin squeals were still ringing in her ears.

"Are you going to be okay in here? Are you feeling alright?" Brandon asked, a look of concern crossing his face.

"Not really." Callie said, still struggling with the covers. "I have a crazy migraine and these-covers-" she said as she struggled to slide them from under her "They aren't exactly making getting comfortable easy."

Brandon gave a short laugh and then in a quick swipe of his right arm, he'd lifted Callie's legs so that she wasn't on the cover. With his other hand he forcibly pulled the covers from where she had just been laying. Then, setting her legs down gently, Brandon pulled the cover over her tucking it around her gently.

"There." Brandon said with a smile and Callie tried to hide the gasp that was sticking in her throat. His hands, on her legs. His face, so near hers. His eyes, _so_ intense.

 _Why in the HELL did he have to come here…?_

Seeming to sense the change in the atmosphere, Brandon rubbed his chin lightly and backed away from the bed, stuffing his hands into his pockets and saying "Okay. So, I'll take them to eat. And um, do you want anything?"

Callie shook her head, the dizziness of the moment that they'd just shared warring with her headache and said "N-No. I just want sleep…And aspirin."

Callie felt the sleep overtaking her even as she wasn't sure if Brandon was gone or not. She blinked her eyes open and saw that he was gone, but the door was still wide open. She groaned inwardly, wondering why Brandon would ever leave a door open this way.

Just as Callie was willing herself to stumble out of bed, she saw Brandon walking back through the adjourning doors from the boys' room with a bottle of water and a small pill box.

"Here." Brandon said, handing her the water and twisting the Aspirin cap.

Callie sat up a little and smiled "They have Aspirin in the mini-bar?"

"No. This is mine." Brandon said shaking two pills into her hand. Callie gave Brandon a look and he smiled sheepishly "I get a lot of headaches. Especially when travelling with those guys." He said motioning towards the door. Callie gave a short laugh as she placed the water bottle to her lips.

As if on cue, Mariana, Sophia, Jude and Jesus stacked their heads in that order into the door and sang out in a clearly rehearsed chorus "Brannnnnndon come on! We're hhhhhuuuuunnnngggggrrrrrryyyyyyy."

Brandon rolled his eyes and then gave Callie a desperate look "Please don't make me go with them."

"Hey, if I know Stef, she left you in charge." Callie said, setting down the water and settling back beneath the covers. "So go handle your responsibilities, Mister." She added with a soft, teasing smile.

Brandon nodded gently and smiled over at Callie with some hidden amusement crossing his eyes, as he looked down at her breathing. "Okay." He said a bit too dreamingly. Callie tried to ignore the meaningful stare as she glanced over at the other children who had begun to chant "FOOD! FOOD! FOOD! FOOD!"

Brandon hesitantly walked over to the other children and then glanced back at Callie saying "We'll be back in a bit. Get some rest, Missy."

 _ **Hours Later**_

Callie's eyes opened and she wasn't sure how long she'd been asleep. She did feel fairly rested but then thought about the fact that she'd gone to sleep pretty early. She glanced at the clock beside her bed and read the time. 1:15 am.

Callie was suddenly aware that she was hot and completely uncomfortable. She wrestled herself out of the covers and headed for the bathroom, feeling her way in the dark so as not to disturb Sophia or Mariana.

As she washed her hands, Callie noted Mariana's makeup all over the counter. "God, that girl," She said shaking her head. When had she even had time to make this mess? Callie wondered, vividly recalling that Jesus and Jude had convinced her that she didn't need a touchup of makeup.

Still, Callie smiled at the thought of her sister's extreme dedication to remaining fashionably presentable no matter the cost.

Callie opened the door and stepping out she reached back to turn out the bathroom light, but something caught her eye. For a moment, she just stood in the doorway after she turned the light back on and gazed ahead of her. Then, Callie rushed over to Sophia and Mariana's beds and nearly fainted.

Callie pounded on the joint door so hard she was sure she would wake up all 3 boys. Oddly, Brandon was the only one who answered shushing her as he did. "Callie, _please_! They've only been down for a few hours. Can you please stop banging like a crazy person before you wake them back-"

"Sophia and Mariana are _gone_!" Callie nearly screamed and Brandon stared at her wide-eyed

"What do you mean Sophia and Mariana are gone?!"

"I mean," Callie said grabbing his hand and dragging him fully into the girls room "That Sophia-" she said as she yanked the covers back "and Mariana" she snatched away Mariana's covers even more forcefully "Are gone!" Callie said standing in-between their beds and then motioning down at both beds desperately.

Brandon rustled both hands through his hair as he said "Okay, Okay. Just, calm down. They can't be far."

"Can't be far, Brandon?!" Callie said, her voice nearly an unending screech now, "Who cares how far they are, the point is they are not _here!_ We are in _Mexico_ and my sister, aka the only reason I am here in the first place, is _missing_! And Stef will _kill_ you if anything happens to Mariana!"

"Yea, I know." Brandon said, turning and heading back towards his room. "But the thing is that they never have to know."

"Never have to know?!" Callie said giving Brandon an incredulous look, "We have to tell them! Call the police, report them missing!"

"No we don't." Brandon said as he disappeared into the adjourning doors.

Callie thought she must be possibly losing her mind because it was like the two of them had switched personalities as she slept. Brandon seemed way too calm about all of this. Meanwhile all Callie felt was panic creeping up her neck and gripping her around the throat. _What is this Freaky Friday: Weird Mexico Edition?_ She thought.

Callie made her way towards the adjourning doors to see Brandon walking back through. His pajama pants were now replaced with jeans and he had pulled on a grey cotton jacket over the U shirt he often slept in.

"Brandon? _What are you doing_?" Callie asked in disbelief.

"What does it look like, Callie? We have to go find them."

Callie blinked up at Brandon wondering if he even realized how crazy he sounded. Callie decided to try and reason as she started calmly, "Brandon…how are we going to find them? We don't know Mexico."

"No…" Brandon answered quietly as he brought Callie's brown leather jacket from the lounge and pulled it around her shoulders. "But, we _do_ know, Mariana." He finished and then paused staring at Callie expectantly. Callie calmed down enough to realize that she must be missing something that Brandon seemed to think obvious.

And all at once, Callie remembered her conversation with Mariana earlier.

" _But, what about that beach party? You said we could check it out later."_

" _No, what I said was that we_ _ **might**_ _check it out. But honestly it looked a bit on the wild side."_

Callie shook her head with a feeling of dread and relief sweeping over her as it all came together: Mariana's makeup all over the counter, the empty beds and Brandon's calm demeanor. He'd realized it much sooner than Callie had. Callie looked up at Brandon and they said together, Callie's intense worry now morphing into anger and annoyance, " _The beach party_."


	18. Chapter 17

**Hi all!**

Been forever since I updated, but I have seriously been swamped with work and school lately. Either way, I am doing my best to finish this story within a reasonable amount of time, so please stick with me anyone reading. Had a few family issues lately and been a bit down too, but sharing this with you guys really is a bright spot for me right now, so thank you to anyone who reads (and/or reviews).

( **Speaking of, if you guys could offer a few reviews for this chapter or the story in general so far, I'd really appreciate it.)**

 **Peaces!**

 **Chapter 17**

 **Moonlight. Screaming.**

The moon lit up the night sky as Callie kicked at the ground ahead of her. Brandon walked along beside her in silence and the sounds of the city that clearly slept even less than New York surrounded them. Callie couldn't pretend not to be angry and annoyed at Mariana and Sophia sneaking out to a party. But, having Brandon with her was making the search a little easier. So far, they'd taken a cab to where the original party was and found out from a straggler that the party had moved to some rich kid's house.

The address turned out to be a bust and they were told there by a girl named Isabella that the party was now at the beach as her parents had come home from their vacation unexpectedly.

Callie thought to show the girl photos of Mariana and Sophia on her phone and the girl nodded "Yea! Lexi was here! And so was Margo." She said pointing to Mariana and then Sophia. Callie turned and stared at Brandon wide-eyed, both clearly thinking that, due to their personal experiences with them, fake identities equaled trouble.

"I mean, they said they were 18, but honestly, they seemed a bit younger than that. Especially Margo." Isabella said as she ended with a mischievous grin and added "But, it's not like Kyle cared." At the horrified looks on Brandon and Callie's faces she faltered a little "Oh, no! It's nothing like _that._ Kyle's just 16 himself. It's just he's a total horn dog." And she finished as if the explanation should make them feel better "I mean he'll jump anything with legs!"

Callie tried to shove the thought to the back of her mind as she and Brandon made their way down the beach towards want looked like a sparkling light show. Callie felt the relief teeming through her as she realized that they were probably finally about to find their sisters.

"So," Callie said gently, "Jude invited you, huh?" as she glanced over at Brandon.

Brandon smiled softly and nodded "He really did." he said with a laugh. "But, I didn't know that he didn't tell you."

"Yea, well, I believe you. I was just surprised."

"I know. I was too. But, I mean, it hasn't been the worst surprise has it?" Brandon said with a slightly anxious tone and Callie could feel his eyes on her.

Callie glanced over at Brandon nervously and walked nearer to the water kicking at the tide with her feet. As an added method of distraction, she slipped her flip-flops off, catching them up in her hand. "No. Not the worst surprise at all." Callie said and then added with an awkward smile "And I should've said this earlier: but, thank you for the Aspirin."

A joke seemed to play behind at Brandon's eyes, but he said only "You're welcome."

The silence washed over them again and Callie listened to the sound of the waves as they trudged along quietly.

Callie tried to imagine up the awkward feeling that should be existing in this space. After their last encounter at her Dreams Girls United event ended in an almost kiss. But it just…wasn't there.

"I just can't believe Mariana would do this." Brandon said suddenly shaking his head in annoyance. "She's usually so responsible. Especially lately."

Callie tried to look as though her mind had only been on their missing sisters as well as she nodded in response. "Yea, well… Believe me, I know Sophia. She can be _very_ persuasive. She has some crazy notion of having a "perfect Spring Break adventure". I'm sure this was her idea."

Brandon laughed shortly and then said under his breath "Must be genetic."

Callie huffed with mock offense, "And what is _that_ supposed to mean?" she said crossing her arms.

"It means: you Quinn girls have a way of finding trouble." Brandon said with another shake of his head as he glanced down at his phone "And having we Fosters trudging around at 3 in the morning trying to get you out of it."

"Hey, _Foster_! Don't even try it." Callie said with a genial laugh as she shoved Brandon playfully and then pointed up at him. "You must be forgetting that I lived with you guys for a year or two and the Foster kids are just as well-acquainted with trouble as we "Quinn girls" are." They laughed together and Callie wondered at the tone of their conversation. She couldn't remember the last time she and Brandon had been able to tease one another comfortably. Suddenly, she wasn't as mad at Mariana as she had been.

Callie had a thought and said slowly playing with the sleeves of her jacket, "You know what's weird though?"

"Hmmm?"

"Everyone else thinks I'm really dull. Too serious."

"I find that unbelievable. You're just about the craziest person I know. Who exactly is this ;everyone else' you speak of?"

"I don't know." Callie said shrugging as the lights that lay ahead of them seemed to inch closer "The girls at the center, Daphne. That's pretty much my social circle nowadays."

"That's the whole circle? What about hobbies or actual friends?" Brandon asked, "No cooking book clubs or guitar lessons? What about photography. Do you still take pictures?"

Callie shrugged as she thought over each question. She wasn't even sure why he mentioned cooking book clubs, because she'd never been in one. No, she hadn't played the guitar since she'd visited Brandon for "Sanctuary". But photography…? She hadn't thought of it in ages. Leave it to Brandon to call up this memory of that long-forgotten hobby.

Considering it made Callie remember that for her 18th birthday, Robert had given Callie a professional grade camera. It had been quite a while since she'd felt the desire to photograph anything though.

"No. The center is pretty much my life at the moment. Maybe I'll try to get back into taking photos this summer. It will probably help to have another hobby. Something else to occupy my mind."

 _Other than you, that is._ Callie thought.

Brandon nodded "That's good. Believe me when I say that not having a release isn't exactly a good thing."

Callie nodded but said with slight annoyance "Easy for you to say. You're favorite hobby also happens to be your giftt and what you want to do with the rest of your life. We can't all be so lucky, Mr. Foster."

Brandon shook his head and glanced over at her. In the moonlight, Callie caught a glimpse of some unspoken sadness in those deep eyes "It's not like I asked for it. And music just happens to be the most resounding one at the moment…but it's not the only thing I wanted to do with the rest of my life."

Callie felt a sense of longing at the statement that she couldn't quite explain. But out loud she only said "So…does that mean that you are finally ready to audition for Juilliard again."

"Actually, yea." Brandon said in a cautious tone. "It does."

Callie was shocked into near silence and then she stammered "T-that's amazing Brandon! So you're going to audition again? When?"

Brandon smiled slightly before his solemn expression returned and then he said "Next week, if all goes well."

"Wow, next week. That's so…"

"Soon? Yea, I know it seems that way, but's not really. It's been almost a year and a half since I last auditioned. And I've been working on this piece for…forever it seems. I think I finally got it perfected though. And since I only have one more chance, I knew I was going to have to give it everything."

"What do you mean by one more chance?" Callie asked with a genuine curiosity as she pulled her hair up in a ponytail in her fingers thoughtfully, keeping the flip-flops in her other hand.

Brandon sighed wearily. "You only get two auditions for your undergrad with Juilliard. Which means if I don't get in this time…"

"But, you got in before, Brandon."

"I know. But, it's different this time. I'm not some shiny, new high-school graduate who played at Disney Hall a few months before. I'm some 19 year old second-chancer who screwed up his first admission by taking the SATs for someone else."

Callie rolled her eyes, "How long are you going to keep beating yourself up about that, Brandon? You made a mistake. I've made plenty. It doesn't mean you don't get to keep trying again. That you don't deserve to be happy."

Brandon gave a sad smile. "Believe me, I know. I know it seems like I'm always grating at you about it and I don't mean to. It's just that…" he trailed off as he bent and picked up a seashell and smoothed it over in his hands.

"Just that, what?"

"You're…well, you're really the only one I talk to about it." Brandon said with a self-conscious laugh. "So it's not that I haven't gotten over it. I honestly have. It's just that I only ever feel comfortable enough to talk to you about it. I guess I kind of start back over at the same place I left off when I talk to you about it again."

The statement caused Callie to smile and feel a warm rush. Suddenly she didn't mind as much that he always seemed to focusing on this same obsession.

"But, I promise it's not because I'm being down on myself this time. I'm not. I'm just being a realist about it now. I have literally poured everything I have into the piece for this audition. So, if it's not enough, I know that it wasn't meant for me, you know? But besides that, I am hanging onto the hope of anything. Even a _waitlist_ offer." He finished with a light laugh.

 _Waitlist offer?_

Callie glanced ahead of her and saw that the party seemed to be edging slowly closer still. But now her heart was pounding at the thought of Brandon's last words "A waitlist offer…" she said thoughtfully and Brandon nodded.

"Yea. You know, when you don't get in, but you also don't get rejected outright? They sort of give you the option that you let them know by some deadline that you're willing to wait and see if spots open in the following semester."

"No, it's not that. I mean, yea, I know what it means." Callie said out loud, although inwardly her mind was still racing "I just…I never thought of that." She said as she tugged at her sleeves absently. What if the letter from NYU was a waitlist letter? Had she missed her chance to accept a waitlist offer? How long did you have? Weeks? Days? She tried to remember what the college counselors had said over a year ago.

Brandon shrugged a little "Well, it would be better than the alternative wouldn't it?"

Callie realized that Brandon still thought they were talking about Juilliard and so she smiled softly "That's true. But I'm sure you won't have to worry about that."

The silence resumed for a little while and Callie noted that the party was almost to the point that she could see the actual faces of the dancing figures.

Now, Callie's stomach was tied into nervous knots. What if she'd missed her chance at accepting a wait list offer? What about…New York? What about the Social Work program that the Advisor at the tour had told her all about?

 _And what about…?_

Callie glanced over at Brandon.

In this moment, it occurred to Callie that neither she nor Brandon had felt the need to address the almost kiss at the Dream Girls United Event, but still they were…easy. Things with Brandon and Callie had always been this way. One moment they were kissing one another desperately, the next they were playing the cookie-cutter foster-sibling role for the family's benefit. One moment they were arguing about their feelings for each other and the next Callie was claiming Brandon as her best friend to total strangers. But in between everything else, Callie noted, this part had always been easiest.

They honestly sucked at playing enemies, sucked worst at playing just friends with a checkered past. And of course, "brother and sister" was the hardest role of all. But, Callie realized, that was the thing. Everything else was just that: a role. By themselves, Brandon and Callie had always been just that: Brandon and Callie. Who they were together and who they were apart. And maybe that's why being alone together felt the easiest of all. Because alone together, was probably the only time the two of them hadn't been playing a role with each other for someone else's benefit.

 _Like when we were up at the cabin_ …

"So…" Brandon started again softly, breaking into Callie's long train of thought. "The whole lack of a social circle of friends who don't think you're boring? That means there's no guy in your life these days, then?" He asked in a tone that seemed to intentionally lack interest. As he spoke, Brandon bent down and picked up a few more seashells and tossed them haphazardly into the ocean.

"No. Not since Aaron. But then he never thought I was boring." Callie laughed glad for the break into her unproductive line of thought. "In fact, he'd agree with you. He called me a "magnet for trouble" once." She said and the two shared a laugh before Callie followed saying "Although, to be fair, I was in the middle of investigating a murder at the time."

As expected that quieted the moment. But before the silence drug on too long, Callie said "What about you?" Brandon looked at her questioningly and she added "No, New York fashion models turning your head yet?"

Brandon laughed deeply "As if, _I_ could even get a New York fashion model." He said incredulously.

"Brandon, you could get a model easy."

"Yea, right. In an alternate universe."

"You _know_ you could. You're really cute."

" _Cute_? Gee, thanks. I feel so manly now."

"I mean, yea. But, you're not _just_ cute. You're kind and tall and funny and…dorky."

"Dorky?!"

"Yes, but in a sexy way. You know like, the guy. You know the guy who plays…Ant-Man?" Callie said grasping for the name.

"…Paul Rudd?"

"Yes! You're sexy dorky: like Paul Rudd."

"Paul Rudd is like 50, Callie!"

"Okay, fine. A _young_ Paul Rudd." Callie said trying to undo the damage she had done. "Haven't you ever seen that other movie…Clueless? The one that Mariana and Lexi loved so much?"

But Brandon was shaking his head as he said with a laugh "Why don't you just quit while you're ahead, Callie?!"

Callie resigned to the silence again before remembering her original point.

"I just meant…I mean that you could get any girl you wanted." She said softly. "I'm just surprised you haven't dated since you've been in New York."

"I have." Brandon said nonchalantly and Callie felt the tightness in her stomach that she knew she shouldn't feel.

"Oh…So you do have a girlfriend?" Callie said feeling nauseous suddenly.

"No. I mean I did. But for just a little while. Her name was Ariel."

"Like as in the little Mermaid?" Callie said, trying to hide her jealous distaste for the name.

"No. Like as in the girl who I was mistakenly paired up with as a roommate the first time I went there." Brandon said, oblivious to Callie's annoyance. "When I got back, I found her online since she was _literally_ the only person I knew in New York. We dated for about 2 months. But, it didn't work out. She had this whole philosophy about those 4 years being for her. And for me too. She didn't believe in monogamy."

"But," Callie said as she saw that the figures of the people on the beach were fully visible now and the sound of their music was beginning to drape over her. "You do?"

"Of course, I do." Brandon said with a nod raising his voice a little above the impending noise, as he pulled his jacket tighter around himself. "I would never give time to a relationship that wasn't committed. But that's part of the reason I've decided not to go there again until I can fully commit to one you know? Ari wasn't right, but she wasn't wrong either. I mean, Juilliard or… _wherever_ I go-"

"You're going to Juilliard, Brandon."

"…The point is, it's going to be tough: going to school, practicing, studying, working possibly _and_ dating? It'll be a lot. So I honestly wouldn't even go there again. Not right now." Brandon finished in a raised tone as they finally came upon the party.

Callie nodded and tried to sort out her feelings. Disappointment, sadness and ache. But she wasn't really sure if she had the right to feel any of these.

Then, Brandon started again "Unless…I mean…" he trilled out absently his voice lower, as his eyes began searching the faces they were coming upon.

"Unless what?" Callie asked closer to Brandon's ear so she could be heard. She felt herself suddenly desperate for his answer.

Brandon looked over at Callie and said with a quick search of Callie's eyes "Unless, I were to fall in love again."

Callie wasn't sure if she had stopped first or Brandon had. But here they were frozen in place staring into each other's eyes.

Fall in love.

 **Again.**

Brandon had fallen in love with Callie once. Couldn't he fall in love with her again?

Before any more questions could be asked or even thought of, all questions ceased at a recognizable sound.

A scream.

 _Mariana's_ scream.


	19. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18:**

 **Punch. Go.**

Brandon raced ahead of Callie in the direction of Mariana's voice. Shoving past several people, Brandon cleared a path that Callie followed closely. Callie stumbled at first as she struggled to place her flip-flops back on her feet and finally just kicked them off leaving them in the sand.

"Let go of me!" Mariana's voice rang out across the night and Callie felt the panic rising up in her again.

 _Why, why, why? Please let them be okay_! Callie thought.

After what had seemed forever, Callie pushed out into a small group of kids with Brandon and bumped into him as he stopped abruptly.

"Yikes! _Square_ alert! Dudddddeeee, you look like a cop or something! Who invited _you_?!" a drunken girls' voice rolled out in an endless string of questions as Brandon backed up a little.

"Look, I'm not here for your stupid party alright? We heard screaming-"

"Hey! You've got to _pay_ to _play_! Just like every-one-else." The voice rolled out the words in one slurred breath and as Brandon continued back into Callie in jerky movements, Callie realized that the girl was poking Brandon as she spoke or shoving him backwards.

Callie waited for a few moments, before realizing that the girl was so busy being hell-bent on preventing Brandon from breaking through the circle that she hadn't even _seen_ Callie. This allowed Callie to step out from behind Brandon unnoticed and break directly into the tiki torch light of the group of people that were holding everyone's attention by the water. Callie's mouth dropped open when she saw what was before her:

About ten girls stood on the beach in a line by the water's edge. Some wearing shorts, jeans or mini-skirts, but they all had one thing in common: nearly every one of their shirts was lifted as they danced mindlessly. All around, people were snapping photos as they bounced along with the music and dollar bills were littered in front of them. Some girls were wearing their bras, but others were fully exposed.

Near the end of the line a guy who was not even pretending to be gentle was holding Mariana in place and Callie's first thought was to lunge straight for him…until she spotted Sophia. At the very end of the line was Callie's younger sister, who looked more than a little tipsy and was being egged on by some of the other girls and guys who were cheering on "Margo: Shirt go! Margo: Shirt go!"

Callie raced towards Sophia and leapt in front of her before she could lift her shirt, which it seemed as though she was just about to do. "What the _hell_ do you think you're doing?!" Callie hissed as she yanked off her jacket and wrapped it around the inebriated girl's shoulders.

"I was…um…wasum…wasum…wasum…" Sophia started, and ended slurring her words. Callie noted that she was wearing more makeup then she'd ever seen her wearing before. "Um…fun?" Sophia finished, giggling up at Callie and breathing out what smelled like tequila into her face.

" _Fun_ , nothing!" Callie chided and glanced over at the other girls with a sickening feeling gripping her throat. "Do you have any _idea_ what could've happened to you?!" Callie turned towards the other girls and shook her head, gesturing angrily towards the photo-takers with mix of anger and disgust "This isn't right! They're obviously drunk and you need to stop this because you're taking advantage of them!" Turning to the half-naked girls, Callie said "And you all? You're better than this. You don't have to do anything just because they tell you to." Most of the girls just stared at Callie in a daze, although a few of them lowered their shirts with expressions of genuine confusion.

As much as she might want to, Callie knew she didn't have time to save everyone else at the moment and glanced back over at Sophia whose eyes held a similarly glazed look beneath her smoky eyeshadow. The makeup on her face definitely shaded her baby face and was clearly an attempt to look older than her 16 years.

 _No doubt the work of Mariana and her infamous makeovers,_ Callie thought and then remembered, _Mariana!_

Callie glanced back over at Brandon, as she remembered the boy who was holding back Mariana. Brandon, who was still doing his best to calm the clingy drunken girl-as she'd gone from trying to keep him out of the party to crying and begging him not to leave her because she loved him-and he seemed to be unaware of Mariana as of yet as his eyes turned to focus on Callie and Sophia now.

Callie's next thought was as to why Mariana had stopped screaming and when she looked over at her Mariana was still being held in place by the guy who was nearly twice the petite young woman's size. But Mariana was no longer struggling against the boy and instead she was pleading with him quietly and there was a look of hesitant fear on her face. For a second, Callie wondered why and then followed Mariana's eyes as they darted over to Brandon and realized:

In her mind's eye, Callie had a flash of being told that Brandon had lunged at Vico at a school dance, Brandon punching Liam at a cultural fair, and finally Brandon shoving AJ at her 17th birthday party. And she knew why Mariana was trying to talk her way out of things before Brandon noticed: because Brandon's temper when it came to his loved ones was pretty legendary.

Callie gripped Sophia tightly and tried to calmly walk her over to Brandon, hoping that handing her off would distract him long enough that she could get over to Mariana first. But, just as Callie walked towards Brandon, the guy must have tried something because Mariana yelped out

"You _bastard_! I said _stop it_!" and Brandon's eyes shot over to her.

Quickly shoving the drunken girl off onto someone else, Brandon's eyes darkened immediately as he rushed towards Mariana and her hulking captor. Callie tried to hold onto Sophia with one hand and reach out for Brandon with the other, saying "Brandon, Don't!" but before she could intervene, Brandon had zipped past her, and slammed into the guy who had been holding Mariana, using his entire body to knock him into the sand as the brute finally released Mariana clumsily.

The crowd drunkenly cheered now, shifting their energy from the hyena like chants for the girls to take off their clothes earlier, to a mob-mentality desire for a moonlight brawl. As Mariana rushed over to Callie, Callie handed off Sophia and headed towards Brandon who was now yelling at the guy to stay down or he'd punch him again.

"That's my sister, you prick!" Brandon shouted as Callie yanked him off of the guy whose hair was now covered in sand. Although he'd looked completely menacing holding Mariana, the same hulking guy now looked dazed and dumbfounded. Callie imagined that it was because-aside from being knocked down-he couldn't believe that a guy nearly half his size had taken him to the ground.

"Brandon, no! Stop it! We have to get back to the hotel!" Callie hissed, helping Brandon to his feet and turning to Mariana who was still holding Callie's jacket around Sophia. "Mariana, wave down a cab! Hurry up!" Callie said, pointing Mariana in a direction just beyond the circle.

Right above the party, there was a slope of beach that led towards the heart of the city. From where they were standing, they could see cabs, street market dealers and people bustling about. No doubt, the party was being held on this part of the beach because the kids had been able to jump from their cabs and quickly race down the slope to start their party again.

As they followed behind and tried to guide Sophia and Mariana in the direction of the city, Callie suddenly felt Brandon being yanked from her side and turned to see that the boy had got back to his senses and tackled Brandon and the two were now wrestling in the sand. "Oh my God!" Callie gasped, covering her mouth.

"Hank, Get. Off. Of. Him!" Mariana yelled as she hovered over the boys, and brandished her 5 inch wedge bashing the guy in the back after each word. Forcing Sophia to sit on the ground, Callie hurried over and yanked at the guy's shirt too trying to get him off of Brandon.

With the help of Callie and Mariana attacking the boy's back, Brandon fought his legs from beneath the boorish guy, apparently named Hank, and kicked him away from him. After he stumbled to his feet, as Hank lifted his face, readying for another attack Brandon pulled back and punched the boy again. Callie figured it must have been much harder because this time, he stayed down.

Callie wanted to feel remorseful, as she usually was no fan of violence, but she felt some small satisfaction at Brandon taking out the guy who'd been manhandling Mariana moments earlier. Her joy was short-lived as Brandon turned to Callie saying "We've really got to get them out of here!" motioning to Mariana and Sophia.

Callie nodded, remembering the bigger issues at hand and she pushed Mariana and Sophia towards the slope once more. As they made their way out of the crowd, Callie could hear some girl shouting and looked back to see a brunette girl shoving Brandon back into the party crowd as other kids swarmed towards the two of them.

Callie glanced over at Sophia who was too drunk to do about anything other than fall over. Then she looked to Mariana who seemed fully sober. "Mariana? Will you be okay to get back to the hotel?" Callie asked, already backing towards the riotous crowd again.

"Callie, _Don't_! Brandon can handle himself."

"Mariana just get a cab and get Sophia back to the hotel, okay?" Callie pleaded and Mariana's protest stopped as she noted the urgency in Callie's eyes.

Mariana nodded, "Okay." But added in a shout as Callie headed back towards the crowd, "But if you guys aren't back in an hour, I'm _calling_ the police!"

Callie raced back down the slope and breaking through the crowd, she saw that Brandon was in a screaming match with some girl. Callie rushed up to him and heard the girl saying "-wasn't making them do anything that they didn't want to do! You might not know this, Mr. Goody two shoes, but girls take their shirts off sometimes! You didn't have to hit him!"

"But _that_ girl was my sister!" Brandon countered as the girl gestured towards Hank and Callie glanced down to see with relief that the boy Brandon had fought with seemed to be conscious and okay, if a little bruised up.

"Brandon?" Callie said, as she stepped in between Brandon and the fiery-and clearly drunk-brunette "Forget this, alright? You don't have to explain things to her. We need to-"

" _Excuse_ you?!" the girl said yanking Callie by her shoulder so that she was forced to face her.

"Hey, don't _touch_ her!" Brandon yelled, leaping protectively in front of Callie.

" _Oh_?! So it's okay that you _knock_ my boyfriend out, but I can't even _touch_ your precious girlfriend?!" The girl said angrily.

Before Brandon could respond and continue the argument, Callie reached out from behind him grabbing Brandon's left hand. He turned to look down at their hands and then up into Callie's eyes "Come _on,_ Brandon. Let's get out of here: this isn't worth it. It's not worth this." She said with a gentle squeeze to his hand, trying to silently remind him of his upcoming Juilliard audition. Brandon gave a quick nod. And turning to follow Callie, he called back to the girl "It was just a misunderstanding. No hard feelings, okay?"

Callie began to pull Brandon back towards the slope but again felt him being yanked back. Callie turned to see the girl beating Brandon viciously on his back. "Plenty of hard feelings, you _Jackass_!" she was screeching.

Without another thought, Callie let Brandon's hand fall and rushed towards the girl shoving her away from Brandon. With a quick gasp, the girl shook her hair from her face and leapt for Callie. Callie's steps faltered a little as the girl flew at her with both hands swatting in a frenzied manner, yelping like a banshee.

As Callie finally got her bearings the girl landed a final swipe to Callie's face and scratched her cheek. "Callie?!" Brandon yelled in concern, but Callie could barely hear him as all she was feeling was anger now. Callie felt the scratch on her left cheek in silence. And then like a flash, Callie reared back and smacked the girl square in the face.

The brunette seemed to sober up in an instant and yelled out in pain before falling to her knees in the sand. "Ow! She hit me!" She whined sounding like a kindergartener. And Callie backed up a little shaking her head with disbelief as several other girls swarmed to the fallen girls' side.

"Only after _you_ hit _me_ like 20 times!" Callie hissed down at her.

"Did she hurt you babe?! Are you okay, Roxie?" Hank said and he sounded like he was crying already too as he broke through the crowd of girls to comfort his shocked girlfriend.

Callie shook her head at the scene as the crowd of onlookers' awwwed as though Hank's concern was the most romantic thing on earth.

 _Yea, when he's not holding people against their will or wrestling guys like some lunatic!_ Callie thought before she felt Brandon gripping her hand again. "Callie? This is our chance and we _need_ to go. _Now._ " Brandon quickly whispered and Callie nodded as they turned away and fled while the now mutually sandy, dramatic couple reunited in a drunken, tearful hug that seemed to fully capture everyone's attention.

Finally, pushing their way through a few partygoers and up the slope, Callie held onto Brandon's hand for dear life. Just as they were breaking through however, Callie suddenly rammed into Brandon's back just as she had when they were coming to find Mariana and felt him yanking his hand away from hers.

"What is it now-?!" Callie started as Brandon turned around to face her awkwardly and his lips were nearly up against hers. Confusion rose as the sounds of the party below and the city above meshed into the night and Callie wondered for just a second if Brandon was about to kiss her.

 _If so, it'll be the most unromantic and ill-timed kiss in the history of…_ Callie began thinking as she abruptly noticed a tall Hispanic man over Brandon's shoulder who said "Policia."

Callie's eyes widened as she realized that Brandon hadn't turned around voluntarily. Instead he had been forced to turn around and was now being handcuffed.

"No! Wait, he didn't do anything!" Callie tried to yell, before another officer stepped out from behind Brandon and cuffed her as well.

Callie stared up into Brandon's eyes and said in a whisper "And how exactly are we going to explain _this_ to our parents?"

"Well, the thing is Callie that we're over 18 now. Plus we're not just going to jail," Brandon said as the cops shoved them both up the slope roughly. "We're going to a _Mexican_ jail."

"What is _that_ supposed to mean?!" Callie asked, panicking.

"It means," Brandon said ruefully, as they stumbled up the slope. "We'll be lucky if we even _get_ to explain it to them."


	20. Chapter 19

**Hi All!**

A few new reviews, followers and favorites since my last update and I just want to thank you all soooooooo much! It honestly makes me smile every time I see those new updates of any kind. I am honestly not a very active participant in the Fosters fandom. I follow some tumblr blogs and am in the Brallie shipper forum, but so far, this is my only true "contribution" so to speak. So it makes me feel really honored to be able to share my love of these characters and this story with you. I really appreciate each and every one of you for sticking with me.

I wanted to introduce these two chapters because in a way, they help to set off the chain of events that I feel can bring about full-circle moments for both Callie and Stef. Although I feel like I relate to and understand both Brandon and Callie, Stef is probably the character that I least identify with. So, I worked very hard on these chapters and did a lot of Stef-related viewing to make sure that I could get her thoughts and perspectives done in a way that would ring true and explain her silence when it comes to Callie. I am really happy with how her first chapter turned out and would love any reviews that you guys can give for it.

With all of that said: **Please Enjoy, Review and Follow!**

 **Peaces!**

 **Chapter 19:**

 **My. You're.**

"Brandon…?" Callie said in a tired voice. They were sitting back to back with the bars holding them both up.

As Brandon suggested, they'd been taken to a small Mexican jail. And whatever rights they were "read" so to speak weren't enough that Brandon-who'd taken Spanish for his high school credits-could translate very well to Callie what was going to happen to them. Summing it up, they'd basically been told that they were arrested for "disrupting the peace" and basically to wait to learn their fates.

Before the guards had turned the lights out, the two were placed in what they guessed were the "drunk tank" cells. Brandon was in the left cell nearer to the building's enclosing wall and Callie in the other adjoining cell with a clear view of the door to the outer-office.

The jail was very small and Callie guessed that it was at least a couple of decades old. Essentially, they were in a small grey room that just happened to be surrounded by bars. They were sitting on cold brown concrete floors with black iron bars in-between them. There were only two cells in here. Near the top of each cell there was a very small glass window with more bars, but it allowed in a glimpse of the moonlight and faint sounds of the still bustling city outside.

"What, Callie?" Brandon answered her, a hint of tired annoyance in his voice. Callie understood as while he'd seemed more then contented to sit in the silence for what already seemed hours, she felt the need to talk. Callie had been jailed three times before in her short life. And each time, what drove her craziest had been the inability to truly connect with anyone else; until now. This time, with her close friend and love in the adjoining cell, she couldn't help but rambling off her many thoughts. Regardless of how unhelpful they may have been.

"What time do you think it is?" Callie said hugging her knees up to her chest. Having placed her leather jacket around Sophia's shoulders, she now only wore the thin green t-shirt she'd worn on their day out yesterday and had fallen asleep in. Her pants were previously off-white capris that were now covered in sand.

Callie felt Brandon's sigh rising up in in his back and she turned to see him glancing up towards the window. She mirrored him and glanced up at her own window. The moonlight was fading but still illuminated the cells enough that Callie could almost see her bleak surroundings.

"Your guess is probably as good as mine." Brandon started with another deep sigh, but then added "Maybe around 4:30 in the morning." The drive to the jail had been maybe 20 minutes. It had been about an hour since then and Callie thought of Mariana's last words to her.

"Do you think Mariana called anybody yet?"

"I'm sure she has."

"Do you think they'll let _us_ call anyone yet?"

"Probably not. Judging off of the way those guards were eyeing our phones, they're probably already on some boat sailing down the Tijuana river, on their way to a black market in the Rio Grande or something."

In spite of the sadness of their situation, Callie still found herself laughing at the ridiculousness of Brandon's run-on assertion. Brandon was always bitingly sarcastic and somehow unknowingly funny with his sometimes over-the-top expressions that signified his desperation.

 _There's not a single other person on earth like him_ , Callie thought with a sigh.

"Brandon." Callie said again, after a few moments of silence as she stretched out her legs ahead of her.

"Yes, Callie."

"If I had to be thrown into a Mexican jail cell with anyone, I'm glad it was with you."

Callie heard Brandon's short, dry laugh but after a few moments he responded quietly "Yea. Me too."

Silence fell around them now and Callie wondered how much longer they would have to wait to find out their fate. As well-versed as Brandon seemed to be about the possible horrors of Mexican jail, Callie had no stick by which to measure their predicament. Therefore, she was just…waiting.

In the moonlit cell, with the city sounds forming a perfect white noise background, Callie's mind drifted back to her conversation with Brandon about waitlists. All of this time, it had been months and Callie had been so nerve-wracked about opening her college letter from NYU that she might have missed an opportunity.

 _Why_? She wondered now. What exactly was holding her back from it?

Objectively, Callie knew that it was to do with her family. Their reactions, their assumptions, their disappointments.

 _Jude_ , she thought. But just as quickly she realized that no, Jude had all but given her his permission to go wherever her heart took her months ago. And yet she had still hesitated.

 _Going to New York_ , she reasoned now. _Where_ _ **Brandon**_ _is_. Callie could just hear Mariana and Sophia teasing her endlessly that she was following Brandon. Was that it?

In her heart, Brandon being in New York was a point of comfort, Callie acknowledged now as she glanced back at the boy on the other side of her. Didn't matter that they weren't as close as they'd once been, still he was…he was _here_. As always. And he was the person, who she always wanted to be there. So, yes, being able to head to New York while knowing that that person was in the city too was reassuring.

But, was it because she was in love with him? Yes, she was, Callie could admit to herself. But, that honestly didn't have to do with her wanting to go to New York or NYU. Even if Brandon was staying in San Diego, she'd still have wanted both: to be able to be with him and to be in New York. They could have even done long distance if he weren't there, but in the meantime, Callie wanted that experience for herself. The experience of being…

 _Just being_ …Callie couldn't quite phrase it even in her mind, but she knew that it began with not being in her Dad's house, or even in the Fosters house. Surrounded by everyone.

… _Suffocated_.

"What's it like?" Callie asked quietly as she traced circles on the cold floor with her fingertips.

"What?" Brandon asked, clearly startled by her sudden break of the silence.

"Being…on your own now. Away from everyone. By yourself?"

Brandon paused and turned his head slightly to glance back at Callie before breathing out a thoughtful sigh that she felt through the bars. "I don't know…that's a really complicated question."

"Why?"

"Because, I don't know if I think as being on my own, really. I mean, I do want to come back home." Brandon said matter-of-factly. "New York is just the means to my own personal ends, you know?"

"Yea, I guess. But still. I just haven't…I don't think I've ever been completely in control of my own life that way since…well, ever really." Callie said thinking of the morning she'd found out her mother had died. _Not once_. "As much as I think I might want it, it also seems like it might be kind of scary."

"Well, it is that." Brandon said, with a nod. "But it's also exciting. And…liberating. I was supposed to have been an "adult" before." Brandon scoffed, "I even started to think I was. And I made a lot of _stupid_ decisions, trying to convince myself and everyone else of it." At this point, Callie knew some of the mistakes Brandon was thinking of, but she said nothing and he didn't expound.

"But…to answer your question. Ever since moving to New York and what has that been like?" Brandon began and leaned his head back as he closed his eyes and began to put words to the feelings. "I am in charge of my own life, now. Every single thing that happens there isn't because two of my parents are cops or my Mom's a supervisor at my school. Or because my girlfriend needs help paying her bills. Every morning _I_ make the decision to go out and work to take care of myself. Or to head to MOMA for inspiration. Or so sign up to volunteer to give piano lessons to terminal kids in the hospital. Or to audition for piano playing gigs. Or to just spend the day in Central Park, sitting on benches and listening to the birds and daydreaming about what I hope for the future…"

There was a slight pause and Callie realized that her eyes had filled with tears at Brandon's statements, but she wasn't quite sure why.

"It feels like…like my entire future is in my own hands, you know? It's like you have your entire life right in front of you every single second. Your future, your happiness, your purpose. It's _all_ up to you. And it's a really _amazing_ feeling."

Callie sighed as Brandon finished speaking and wiping at her eyes, she whispered. "It _sounds_ amazing."

Brandon paused now and Callie could feel that he'd turned to look at her. "Why did you ask me that?"

Callie shrugged and did her best to seem indifferent as she turned to her right so that she was sideways beside Brandon's cell. "I don't know…I was just thinking about my whole…thing."

"Like, what you're going to do with your life?" Brandon paused and then waved at their surroundings "Assuming we get out of this mess, I mean."

Callie nodded "Yea, of course." She looked over at Brandon now "I haven't really told anyone yet. But, I got into a lot of my schools. Almost all of the ones that I actually wanted, I mean. I even got some scholarship offers."

"What?! Callie that's _great_ news! I'm happy for you." Brandon said with a wider smile then Callie had seen on his face in months.

Callie couldn't help but to smile back "Thank you."

"But then…" Brandon asked regarding Callie curiously, "Why do you seem so sad, about it?"

Callie shook her head and said softly "It's like…like you know how you just said that you're happy for me? But, are _you_ happy, Brandon? Like for yourself and with the way your life is going now?"

Brandon scoffed with an incredulous look and Callie knew that he was about to make another biting comment, "Not _presently_ , no. I would prefer if we weren't sitting in some drunk tank in Mexico."

Callie laughed gently, but suddenly felt like crying again. Brandon peered at her closer through the bars and said "But, if you meant, in general? Yea, I guess I would say that I am. For the most part." Then he added with genuine concern, "What about you?"

The tears fell now "I'm not." Callie said realizing all at once that this was what she'd been hiding from. This was what was laying beneath the surface of that letter and not speaking to her parents about her dreams. Her unhappiness at the way things in her life were. The way they'd been for over a year now. "I'm not happy at all." She continued in a voice filled with the realization that she hadn't been being honest with herself.

"I think I was trying to make myself believe I was. For so long, all I wanted was to make sure that Jude got adopted. And then after, that I got adopted. It was my entire life's mission. My _reason_ for fighting. But, even after I was? I still felt so…incomplete. So, I just kept trying to find a new fight. A new mission. That's what the whole thing with Justina and the foster care bill was about. And then with Kyle and that murder investigation. And when it fell through, I went with Diamond to that…to that pimp." Callie's voice faltered as the tears overtook her voice, but she continued. "There was nothing to lose and I could still help, you know? I could still fight for someone…

"And so after all of… _that_ , then out of nowhere someone sends in a tape and the reversal happened, and I went to live with Robert. And even though…even though it wasn't exactly what I wanted, the way I wanted it, I knew that Jude was okay now and I was finally, _finally_ safe. One way or another, that part of my life was over.

"So, I found a new purpose; a new fight. And I started pouring all of my energy into making sure Dreams Girls United happened. Then working in the center, doing something positive that I _really_ believe in. And reconnecting with you guys," She said, with a nod towards Brandon implying him and the other Adams Fosters. "I thought 'This is it.' you know? 'I have my family and I have my friends and I'm okay now. I don't have to fight anymore and I'm supposed to be happy now.'." Callie shrugged as she leaned her head against the bars and sobbed softly.

"But, the truth is that I'm _not_. I mean I see these girls every single day who have so little and are going through so much. They get _joy_ , Brandon. Like _actual_ joy from a toothbrush. Or a pair of socks. And here I am living with my rich birth-father, who loves me and wants to make me happy, with acceptance letters and scholarships to all these colleges and knowing that my education would be paid for either way. But, I'm just…not happy. I feel so restless and so nervous and so…suffocated."

"But, why?" Brandon asked, clearly saddened by Callie's confession.

Callie thought about the NYU letter and how she hadn't been able to open it again. In her mind and heart, she knew whose approval she wanted. Whom she didn't want to think that she was following Brandon or that she was leaving them for good. They were the same reason she'd been practically holding her breath before making any real moves for the past year. Her parents. All 4 of them, but in particular two of them. Robert Quinn and Stef.

 _Mom._

"Because ever since the reversal…maybe before that even, every time I do _anything_ , I am always so, _so_ worried about how it will affect everyone else. What everyone else will think about _why_ I am doing it." Callie paused now and thought about being with Brandon and added quietly "If I even have the _right_ to do it."

Again, the silence swirled around them and Callie wondered what Brandon was thinking. She glanced over at him and he was looking at her with a sort of wondrous and confused expression. Brandon not having something to say in response to Callie's long tangent was highly unusual.

 _Dramatic, much?_ Callie thought to herself, as she realized that now was certainly not the time for this conversation and Brandon's expression and lack of response said that times ten.

Callie lifted her head from the bars, wiping her eyes as she breathed deeply. So far, Brandon was still silent and she was sure that he probably thought she was crazy. After all, they were sitting in a Mexican jail cell and she chose now to practically come undone and have a huge semi-quarter-life crisis.

"Anyways," Callie began now with a slight sniffle. It was hard to turn off her emotions like she used to. Now she was like a leaky faucet "I'm sorry…I didn't mean to go all "drama" on you."

"Callie…"

"No, really." Callie said, nodding as she shook her head and tried her best to fight off the tears, "I think it's just…I think I'm just bored, really. Now, I'm settled and it's quiet and it's just not what I'm used to. I think I'm still craving something to stand up against and I just don't get that there's nothing left to fight for. So, I guess I just…I just have to stop fighting, you know?"

"No, I don't know that at all…" Brandon said quietly and Callie glanced over at him.

"Really? So you're saying you think I should just keep fighting my calm, soothing existence?" Callie said with a soft laugh, glancing down at her fingers "Fighting against peace?"

"No," Brandon said harshly "I think that you should _start_ fighting for yourself."

Callie gasped though she wasn't wholly sure why. She turned slightly towards Brandon again and saw that he had fully turned so that he was facing Callie through the bars and so she lifted her head to face him as well.

"If you aren't happy, Callie. If you feel suffocated or like you don't have the right to live the way you want to, then that feeling is something to fight for. Any other way is surviving, but it isn't really living. And staying willfully unhappy is no way to live."

"Yea," Callie said turning away, as the tears filled her eyes again "I think this fresh flood of tears kinda means that I'm finally starting to see that."

"No, I'm serious, Callie." Brandon said with a very sympathetic and yet stern tone to his voice, now. Callie raised her head and looked into his eyes, so steady and meaningful even in the dim moonlight.

"What I mean is that, that's no way for _you_ to have to live, Callie. Just look at what you're doing for those girls you talked about? What you did before for the foster care bill or how hard you fought to make sure Jude finally had a home? You do so much for other people; God knows you've talked me off about a hundred ledges. And you've _literally_ risked your life for others. So, now that you are finally ready to, you deserve to be able to make choices about your life that you _want_ to make. Choices that will make _you_ happy."

Callie nodded sadly. So much of what Brandon was saying echoed what Lena had told her months ago.

 _He really is her son,_ she thought.

"And anyone in your life who really…who really loves you and cares about you as much as I do? That's what they'll want for you too."

Callie couldn't ignore that it was the first time in what felt ages that Brandon had told her that he loved her. Maybe not romantically, but still. She wished she didn't feel so much joy at hearing it, but she did. Callie reached up and placed the fingers of her right hand around a bar reaching a few through for Brandon's. Brandon responded by gripping her fingers with his own, and giving a small, solemn smile.

Only Brandon Foster could make such an endearing gesture happen in a dank, dusty jail cell, Callie thought with a smile.

" _Thank you_ , Brandon." Callie said squeezing his fingers tightly.

"You're welcome." He said and for a few moments they just looked at each other in the sudden silence.

The cell was lighting up now to the extent that Callie could see Brandon's face and their surroundings clearly now and as much as she wanted to stay in this moment with him, she was forced to truly regard their current predicament again.

"So...how do you suppose we'll get out of _here_?" Callie asked, wiping the fresh tears from her eyes as they seemed to simultaneously release their grip on one another.

As if on cue, the door to the small dim room opened. The light flickered on and Callie had never been happier to see Mariana in her life.

Callie and Brandon leapt to their feet in one swift motion as the girl rushed towards them. Callie could tell by the dark circles beneath her eyes and her frenzied hairstyle that she likely hadn't slept.

"I am _so_ sorry!" Mariana said as she reached each hand through the cells and gripped Callie hands with her right hand and Brandon's with her left.

"We know, Mariana." Callie said with a gentle smile.

"Yea, it's okay." Brandon added "Can you just tell us what's going on out there?" he said nodding towards the doorway, as they could now hear what sounded like an escalating shouting match between two men.

Mariana's face changed to one of cautious penitence as she eased her hand away from Brandon and slid more towards Callie's cell. "Please don't be mad at me, but…"

" _But_ , what?" Brandon said, squinting at Mariana with rising anxiety, "What else could you possibly have _done_ , Mariana? We're _already_ in _jail!_ "

"I didn't _do_ anything!" Mariana snapped at Brandon, before seemingly remembering that she was to blame for their current dilemma and lowering her head she said "But, I…I couldn't call Moms either…"

"What?!" Callie and Brandon shouted in unison causing Mariana to snatch her hand away from Callie as well.

"Mariana, look. They aren't letting us call anyone, so you _have_ to call someone to get us out of here." Brandon said pleadingly, "We can't just _rot_ in here."

"I mean," Mariana said, staring down at her shoes again and glancing at Callie and then Brandon nervously, "I did call _someone_ …just not Moms."

Callie and Brandon looked at another and then back at Mariana.

"Then who did you call?" Brandon asked, just as the answer was occurring to Callie.

Before Callie could voice her suspicion, in walked Robert Quinn, his face reddened as the equally miffed police guard made his way to Callie's cell with the keys in hand.

As soon as the man unlocked Callie's cell, she stepped out towards her father and hugged him tightly. "Thank you so much!" she said.

After only hugging her back for a moment, Robert gently pushed Callie aside and she turned to see him stepping up to Brandon who was being released from his cell by the warden as well. "Is there a reason that whenever _you_ are involved with my daughter she ends up in some kind of trouble?!" He barked and Callie immediately stepped in front of Brandon who was clearly caught off guard.

"Dad?! Please don't start this right now, okay? We have all had a long night and we really appreciate you getting us out, but can we please just get out of here before you start in with the third degree?"

Robert stared down at Callie and then back over at Brandon before he turned away, silently heading out of the door with Mariana cautiously trailing behind him. Callie gave a quick backward glance to Brandon and then followed suit.

As soon as they stepped outside of the jail, Robert turned to regard Callie. Callie realized that she must have looked truly horrendous, wearing her rumpled clothes from the day before, her capris dirty and discolored with sand, her hair a frizzy mess, scratches on her left cheek and barefoot.

Glancing at Brandon, Callie noted his face, his right eye and his lip bruised from his fight with Hank, his hair a curly, sandy mass and wearing his sleep u-shirt beneath his opened jacket.

 _This isn't going to be good._

Robert's face was the picture of indignity as he stepped over to Brandon again "I don't want _you_ anywhere near my daughters, _ever_ again!" he shouted and Brandon shook his head, holding out his hands defensively.

"Look, Robert…I am really sorry about all of this. But, I wasn't trying to-"

"Of course you weren't! Because you never _are_ right?" Robert gave a quick glance at Callie and then said in a mocking tone "I'm sure you were just trying to be " _loving_ ", right?"

Brandon's expression clouded with confusion at Robert's reference to Callie's words about him at the Christmas dinner months before. As people headed up and down the street, and the sun began brightening the dusty road, Callie could feel angry heat rising inside of her chest.

Mariana stepped towards the car that she and Robert must have ridden here in, and Callie stepped up to her father and huffed out "Actually, he was! Do you even _know_ how all of this happened?" Callie said and looked over at Mariana whose eyes widened, as she shook her head vigorously alerting Callie that she and Sophia hadn't filled Robert in on the full story.

"Callie, _don't_." Brandon said, but Callie was too angry to stop now.

"Sophia was about to go topless and have about 50 kids passing her picture around on the internet. _That's_ how this happened. Because as usual, Brandon was trying to help me _protect_ your daughter."

Robert's expression was now well past shocked as he glanced over at Mariana who quickly climbed into the backseat to evade further explanation.

"That's right." Callie said, crossing her arms defiantly, "So before you go screaming Brandon's head off about staying away from your kids, maybe just think about where your daughter would be right now if it weren't for him." She finished and Robert looked down apologetically.

"Callie…I-I didn't know."

"Of course, you didn't, Dad. Because you didn't ask."

Robert looked at Brandon with a softened nod "I'm sorry, Brandon." He said, with a genuine regret in his tone. "Sophia and Mariana didn't tell me what happened and I was just…when I got that call and heard about Callie being in jail here? I got so scared. And they didn't even tell me that you were here with them and so seeing her?" Robert said rambling off his apologetic explanation, and then nodding at Callie. "I just got so-"

"It's okay." Brandon broke in, glancing sideways at Callie, "I completely understand. My Mom's a cop, so I know what it's like to be concerned about your loved ones."

"Right," Robert said with an understanding nod, and then sighed deeply saying "Look, I'm sure we have all had a long night. Let's just get back to the hotel and get some rest." He finished as he walked around to the rental car's driver door and slid in.

Brandon stepped towards the car, but Callie reached out and pulled him back. "No, you guys go ahead." She said trying to sound alright, though she was clearly still angry.

"Callie, I-"

"No, Dad. It's fine, OK? I'm fine and so are you and me. But we'll just call a cab. And we'll see you back at the hotel."

Robert looked as though he wanted to object strongly, but instead he nodded his head resignedly and pulled off quickly.

Callie turned towards Brandon and looked up at him as he called a cab service. He pulled the phone down and said quietly.

"They'll be here in about 5 minutes."

"Good." Callie said and felt near tears as she turned towards the dusty road.

"Hey," Brandon said with a reassuring nudge to her side "It's okay. We're out and it's over. Everyone's okay."

"I know it's just…" Callie said, shaking her head, "I'm sorry about him; my Dad. He shouldn't have said that to you."

"Oh, that?" Brandon said, pffting with a wave of his hand "That was nothing. People telling me to stay away from you isn't really anything new."

Callie bit her lip, because she was still angry at Robert and she refused to laugh at Brandon's obvious hint at a morose joke. "Hey, at least he didn't take out a _restraining order_." Brandon added, leaning down now to force Callie's eyes to meet his. In spite of herself, Callie looked over at Brandon as his bruised yet beautiful face broke into a smile.

Callie tried again to prevent it but the smile found its way to the surface and she laughed softly, "Yea, well; there's that."

A few minutes later, as Callie and Brandon slid into the cab after Brandon had given the hotel name, Brandon breathed out a deep sigh. "But seriously," he said "Joking aside, I don't think your dad is _ever_ going to like me again."

Callie glanced over at Brandon and shook her head determinedly, "Well, that's too bad for him because, he's going to have to get used to you."

Brandon raised his eyebrows in surprise "He is?"

"He is."

"Really? And why is that exactly?" Brandon said with a teasing tone as he struggled to buckle the seatbelt.

"Because…" Callie said as she twisted her fingers, nervously. "You're my…my…" and she paused searching for the right word.

"I'm your…?" Brandon asked and Callie looked up to see that he was focused on her waiting for the answer thoughtfully.

Callie smiled just as she realized that she didn't need a defining word because there wasn't one. Not yet. But from this point on, she knew that Brandon would always be in her life in one way or another.

And so Callie said simply,

"You're my _Brandon_."


	21. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20:**

 **Ritual. Guilt.**

"I'm not sure what's going on. All I know is that I got a call from your daughter saying that Callie and Brandon were in trouble. By "trouble" she meant that they're in jail and they were arrested about an hour ago. Mariana and Sophia just found out because one of the kids from whatever incident they got into posted it on their media accounts. I am on my way now. I didn't tell Jill yet. Partly, because I didn't want to worry her, but also because I am pretty clueless myself about what exactly is going on. I cancelled all of my appointments for the week so that I can take care of everything; please don't worry. In the spirit of our recent agreement on openness, I figured it was only fair that I let you know."

Stef replayed the statements in her mind over and over. Robert Quinn had called her at around 4 am. Luckily Lena slept through the call, likely because she was so used to Stef receiving phone calls at all hours of the night, due to her work as a detective.

The call hadn't awakened Stef however, because she'd already been awake. Thinking of her sex crime cases and when she couldn't help it, her kids on their own in Mexico. She'd been doing her best not to worry about them, but now of course, it was all she could do.

But this was nothing new for her. For years, Stefanie Marie Adams Foster had worked as a police officer and now a detective. And for years she'd had the same ritual.

It started out small.

When she was married to Mike, it had been different. He was her husband and her friend and later he'd given her Brandon. So, there was a genuine love there, but it wasn't exactly the right kind. Even though the cases touched her then and she worried about Mike on his calls, it wasn't a consuming worry.

Stef would wake up in the night from nightmares, especially if there had been reports of "Officer Down!" at any point during the day. She would click on her bedside lamp and look over at Mike. He was younger then, his face not as worn down by the years and in sleep, his baby-face was even more noticeable. Stef would sigh deeply realizing that Mike was safe and sound. Her partner and her friend was okay.

Usually, Stef would zone out wondering what would come next if ever Mike was hurt. Would she marry again? Or more honestly, would she marry another _man_? The thoughts were always so odd to her.

 _What kind of thought is that to have?_ Stef would wonder. Then she'd touch Mike or stroke his face reminding herself that what she felt for him, what they had was love. Usually the tender moment was ruined by Mike's nervous sleeping habits. He'd quickly slap Stef's hand away or his eyes would shoot open as he grabbed her wrist forcefully. Then Mike would glance over at her saying "Stef, what are you doing? I told you never to do that kind of thing to a fellow officer."

Some nights Mike would jokingly add with a kiss to Stef's hand "If I didn't love you so much, you might have to worry about getting hurt."

Stef would say something like "You wish!" or "In your dreams! Which speaking of, why don't you get back to them?" and they would end up in some weird conversation about who would win at arm wrestling. By the end, Stef would nestle up to Mike and drift back to sleep after their humorous banter.

He always could make her laugh.

When Stef had Brandon, the ritual had become more targeted. Child cases. Children being hurt or bullied. Children being tormented or abused in any way. Those cases were always the worst for her. She would race home and pick up her small baby and later her toddler. Holding him tightly, Stef would kiss away her fear that something that had happened during any time that Brandon was out of her sight.

Now, the nightmares would get so bad, that Stef would sometimes get up in the middle of the night and go take Brandon out of his crib, falling asleep in the rocking chair besides holding him. Mike would wake her up in the morning, always marveling at how she was able to sleep so comfortably in that deathtrap of a chair. Stef would stress to such an extent that the only thing that got her heartrate back to a normal pace was Brandon. That head full of curls. That joyous smile. Those baby noises. In all reality, Brandon had been Stef's first true love, although she hadn't known it at the time.

Then came Lena.

Lena Elizabeth Adams had hit Stef like a lightning bolt. It was just a normal day, consulting the assistant vice principal to enroll Brandon in kindergarten. And then? Stef saw Lena and every single thing in the world changed for her.

All at once, Stef met a woman who was kind, beautiful, smart and so, so different from anyone else she'd ever encountered in her entire life. Lena was so gentle and yet so fierce when it came to speaking about and defending any of her many passions. So astute and serious about her work as an educator, and yet when Lena laughed, it was so intoxicating that all other sounds ceased for Stef's ears. The attraction between them was immediate, deafening and all-consuming.

And so this time, during her denial, things were far more complex, because Stef had thought that with Mike she'd worried, and with Brandon she truly and deeply had. But with Lena? Stef worried about her in a way that she'd never done for Mike. And the worry was different than it had been for Brandon. Because now, Stef wasn't fearful for the pain and uncertainty that losing Mike would bring. Didn't feel the intense fear and heartache that imagining something had happened to Brandon brought and the genuine concern for her child's safety. This worry was more of a longing. A need that lay within her soul and burrowed its way into the very veins of her heart.

Suddenly, Stef was waking up in the night as usual, but instead of worrying that Mike would be missing, she'd worry that she would never hear Lena's comforting voice again. Stef would glance over at her sleeping husband and feel horrible but at the same time, she couldn't get the idea that Lena wasn't alright out of her head.

Some nights, she'd even sneak out of her room and call Lena. Just to say "Good night." before returning to Mike; each time feeling less and less like she was lying beside the right person.

When Stef had finally come out as gay and admitted that she was unequivocally in love with Lena and they became partners, Stef learned what true worry was. Now, she had a child she loved more than she'd ever loved life itself and a partner whom she was more in love with than she'd ever known possible.

As much as her life was now filled with all of the truest forms of love, Stef's nights now were the most torturous they'd ever been…That is, until an incident about six months into her new relationship.

As usual, Stef awoke with a start and glanced over to see Lena lying beside her. Remembering how things had always been with Mike, she tried to resist not wanting to disturb Lena's beautiful sleep. _And she is so beautiful_ , Stef thought admiringly.

Finally, unable to stop herself, Stef reached out and stroked Lena's face gently, so thankful that her true love was right here beside her. Safe. Whole. This time however, Stef was met with a loving stroke back as Lena reached out and smoothed over Stef's right hand lovingly.

"I'm sorry," Stef began feeling self-conscious, as she tried to pull her hand away "I was just-"

"I know what you were just." Lena had replied as she held Stef's hand in place and her eyes opened with a smile. " _You're_ the cop. _My_ partner is the cop…I "just" all the time." She said with that spirited laugh, "In fact, I was _just_ pretending to be asleep so that you wouldn't know that I was laying here wide awake wondering what I would ever do without you and hoping like hell, I'd never have to find out."

At this response, Stef had fallen even more in love with her partner than she'd known possible and some small part of her realized that she was finally home.

Over the next few weeks, they'd had the hard, honest conversations. What would happen if anything did happen to Stef? Or Lena? How would the other members of their family carry on? And although they spoke of Wills, DNRs, burial plots, custody plans and estate issues, there was levity to the conversations somehow. Stef found that with each conversation, the most soothing revelation was that the question was not one now of _if_ things would be okay if something happened to either of them. The answer was that things _would_ be okay and the only questions now were those to iron out the details of "okay". And as all these things were happening, Stef was slowly realizing that Lena was the woman whom she wanted to expand her family and spend the rest of her life with.

Next came the twins. But this time, things were easier. Not because they weren't their biological children, but because Stef had had so much more time to adjust and prepare. And because she knew now that if anything ever happened to her they would all have Lena. Her family would be alright with this strong, brave and amazing woman beside her at the helm. Stef wasn't alone now when she awoke in the nights from worry. Sometimes, all she needed was to reach her hand behind her and there would be Lena's, lovingly gripping hers in a small gesture that brought, love, peace and comfort to Stef's heart. Every single time.

Finally there came Jude and Callie. And they had been very different. A temporary home was what the Adams Foster household was supposed to be. Their "last way station" Stef had said. But, slowly and almost surprisingly things had changed. Changed so much and so soon that Stef found herself up again, in the night, her ritual now renewed and very well-defined.

Stef didn't just wake up in the night and glance at Lena or check in on Brandon anymore. Instead, when she woke up now, she would go to every one of the children's rooms. Checked in on Jesus and Jude. Then Brandon. Finally ending on Mariana and Callie, who she honestly-and ashamedly-worried more about than she did the boys.

Stef's family felt truly whole now and gradually the check-ins diminished to the point that they were once a week, once every two weeks, or even once a month and held no discernable pattern. Every case that was too hard, involving children, families, teen suicide, trauma, or anything that reminded her of anything she'd read in those poor children's files would cause Stef to resume the ritual. She checked in on all of them every time she woke up from one of her nightmares. And seeing those sleeping bodies in every bed, where they belonged was the comfort for her. All of her children and her Lena were safe. Were home and secure.

Until the day that Callie had gone with Diamond…

Everything had changed for Stef that day, because Callie had put her life, her very existence in danger in a way that no other child of Stef and Lena's ever had.

That singular event had changed Stef's view on things. On herself, on her children and most of all on Callie. Callie Adams Foster, who Stef thought was going to have some great turnaround when she was adopted, was still the same reckless girl she'd always dissolved into it seemed. Maybe worse.

Hadn't she narrowly escaped with her life from that abusive foster father with Jude? Callie had survived a few days on the streets by herself when she'd run away. Callie and Brandon had even survived a potential school shooting without being harmed. Yet, in Stef's home, when she was supposed to be finally safe and secure, Callie had seemed to come to more danger than she had ever been in before. And it all culminated because of a girl whom Stef had introduced her to.

To say that Stef felt regret about this incident was putting the word to extreme shame. This had changed everything. Now, Stef was cautious about everything and everyone. When she met these girls in her line of work, she handled them differently. Each one was a puzzle that Stef needed to solve, a heart that she was in charge of mending. All the while, Stef paid less and less attention to her own family, marriage, heart and mind.

Lena had told her months ago in so many words that she was working way too hard. "I barely see you anymore." She chided gently as Stef poured over a case involving a father who was pimping out his own daughters. It had been over 10 years before one of the girls had had the courage to walk into the police station and reveal what she'd endured in her childhood home of horrors. "The kids don't see you anymore. Callie even came by the other day and spoke to Jesus, but he said she'd been looking for-"

"There are just… _other_ things." Stef interrupted her wife, staring at her over her glasses " _Important_ things, Lena. The kids are fine. _Callie_ is fine. These faces," Stef huffed sternly as she motioned over the 4 hollow faces of the sisters whose fathers was now imprisoned, " _These_ are the faces of girls who are not fine." Lena shook her head and quietly backed down. Stef wasn't even sure when, but later when she'd looked up what seemed minutes, but was actually hours later, Lena was in bed in a curled up position, soundly asleep.

In the back of her mind, Stef knew that she was avoiding things. She hadn't needed to worry about being a shoulder for Jude to cry on after his breakup with Noah because Lena had handled it. Mariana had almost fully come into her own as a young woman and taken charge with Jesus and making sure that he would finish his schoolwork in time. It was strange, but in some way, Jesus's TBI had seemed to bring the twins closer than ever. And as for Brandon? Well, the ink hadn't been dry on the reversal of Callie's adoption before he'd high tailed it to New York. Stef spoke to him here and there, but he was about the definition of a world-travelling adult child at this point. Stef knew he didn't need her anymore. And then there was Callie… Callie certainly didn't need Stef or even the other members of the Adams Foster clan, because she was living with Robert her rich, birth father now.

It still broke Stef's heart when she really thought about the adoption reversal. She wanted to pretend that it hadn't hurt so earth-shatteringly, but it did then and it still did now. Callie was _her_ daughter. Her daughter whom she loved and cared for and yet, no one would or even could recognize that now. All because of those infamous reckless decisions.

Stef had made them blackmailing Robert, Rita had done so by suppressing Carmen's confession about Brandon and Callie dating. And Callie and Brandon had made the worst one of all. _It always ended up that way with Callie and Brandon_ , Stef would think now. Those two seemed to cause the most turmoil. The very two who didn't even need her anymore…

But these girls? The girls whose cases Stef was working on all hours of the day and night? They needed Stef's help more than anyone else ever had. Some were missing, some present but extremely emotionally abused and some were no longer for this world. And yet still they needed Stef. Every single one of them.

And so, days came and went. Stef slept less and less, and poured herself into her work. And because of her obsessive workload she had the highest closing rate of any detective in her field. Her supervisor had told her that she had closed more cases in this year than many detectives closed in 5. Each girl whose life was put in danger, each man or woman who took advantage of or exploited children, each and every case Stef took personally. Probably _too_ personally. It truly became her life.

Helping these girls had become Stef's simultaneous form of denial and penitence. Making up for what she couldn't do in her own personal life. The girl who she just couldn't seem to save. And it had been working. Stef had been able to keep Callie at as much distance as she seemed to need. Never holding her too tightly, when she'd hugged her. Not trying to overwhelm her with worry the way Lena did with her near weekly letters. Never showing up at the Quinns' house trying to drop in for a visit. Callie clearly wanted space from her and so Stef had resolved to give it to her. It was obvious that Callie was much better off without her, Stef reasoned. Safer and happier.

Until now.

Now, after listening to Robert's voice trembling as he spoke of heading off to save Brandon and Callie from some Mexican jail cell, Stef relived her prior worry for her daughter. And for Brandon too. Stef thought once more about the many, many times, Brandon and Callie had haphazardly placed themselves in harm's way, one thoughtless decision after the other: Callie running away from home. Brandon selling fake IDs. Brandon's fake confession for framing Callie at a school party and subsequent arrest. Callie and Brandon helping Daphne when she'd kidnapped her daughter. Brandon and Callie sleeping together. Brandon moving in with Cortney. Callie investigating a murder. Brandon taking the SATs and ruining his Juilliard admittance. And finally Callie going with Diamond to that horrible, horrible man.

As her thoughts raced, Stef slowly felt things materializing inside of her as the worry for her family went into overdrive. Suddenly a familiar ache began to fill her heart.

Stef hadn't even noticed that the phone was still in her hand, from the call with Robert, but she was suddenly aware that her hand was throbbing. When she glanced down she saw that her hand was wrapped tightly around her cellphone, hovering over her work desk. Stef slowly released the cell and setting it down over her work papers, she sighed deeply. The photos of the girl who'd been found raped and beaten in Mexico, after she'd been trafficked as a sex slave, was probably not the best case to be obsessing over with all of her children in Mexico. Stef shook her head and closed the case file.

Next, she walked over and stroked the gentle face of her love, truly taking in the beauty of her wife for the first time in what felt ages. Lena didn't stir but remained asleep in the bed, though her forehead seemed creased with worry even as she slept. _How much, my love? How much have you been handling while I've been busy trying to block out our reality?_ Stef thought sadly.

Stef walked slowly out of the room and begin her ritual anew by looking in what had been Brandon's room but was now Jesus's. Then what had been Jesus's room but was now Jude's. Next, was Mariana's and finally Stef ended her walk by sitting on Callie's bed and swiping over the bedspread with her fingers.

Stef hadn't been this present for at least a year now. She was barely there sometimes because she was barely holding it together. Focusing on those cases, taking down criminal after criminal allowed her an escape that she hadn't been ready to acknowledge that she needed. But now, she thought quietly of her children, all five of them, off in the big, scary world. Fully aware, outgoing, intelligent and capable and yet still finding ways to get themselves into unimaginable trouble, with the two oldest, as usual causing the most ruckus. Her kids… _her_ kids.

Stef finally placed her hands over her mouth and allowed the full weight of the feeling that she had been running from to encompass her.

 _Guilt_.

Stef curled up onto the bed and for the first time in nearly a year, she allowed herself to cry. And not for the girls whose cases she worked on day in and day out. Or for the wife whose bedside she'd all but abandoned for all this time. Stef cried for her children. For Brandon, Jesus, Mariana and Jude. And for Callie. She cried because she knew that no matter how many cases she closed or how many ways she tried, she would never be able to protect them from themselves. And for that, Stef realized that there was no one to blame but the common denominator of having her as their mother.

And that realization was more heartbreaking than any case she'd ever handled.


End file.
